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Jack Oct 2018
I want to be better.
I’ve made progress, but not the kind i want.
I want to be better.
I’ve come far, but not enough.
I want to be a better sister.
My siblings should not be afraid of me.
I want to be a better daughter.
My parents shouldn't look at me with hatred in their eyes.
I want to be a better friend.
My friends should not want to not hang out with me.
I want to be a better lover.
I should not be afraid to love.
I want to be better.
Jack Oct 2018
When I was younger, my mom always told me “date someone like your father, he’s a kind, loving man who puts his family above all else”

Then the abuse started

“Now you know what kind of man to avoid” she would tell me.

When I was 16, I got into a relationship that would change me and my outlook on life.
It was all butterflies and rainbows until I upset him for the first time.
He had a familiar fire in his eyes that I’ve only seen in one other man

My father.

But I remembered what my mother told me “... kind, loving man who puts his family above all else” and that’s what this guy did.

When he wasn’t angry.
When he wasn’t yelling at me.
When he wasn’t punching walls.
When he wasn’t hitting me.
When he wasn’t demeaning me.

I dated someone like my father and I now know the difference from what Love is and what my parents showed me love was
Jack Feb 2018
As im standing here waiting to purchase my cap and gown for graduation, my eyes cast downwards to the purple bead bracelet I keep on me, with your name on it. You should be here.
With us.
With me.
Everyday I think about you,
I think about what would’ve happened if I confessed my feelings for you.
Would you have stayed?
Or would you still have gone?
It’s been a year without you,
and I miss you more and more each day.
I’m sorry i couldn’t help you.
I’m sorry you felt as if you were alone.
But I know you’ve made your peace and you’re somewhere better,
Wherever that may be.
I love you, Lauren
And I miss you.
But I’ll see you again soon.
Jack Nov 2017
I see you everyday,
And my thoughts stay the same,
‘This is the boy I have been writing about,
This is the boy i have dreamt about’
We don’t talk,
We don’t need to.
The way you look at me,
And I at you
It says it all
But darling,
Why must you look away when I stare at you in awe?
I’m hypnotized by the way you demand presence when you enter a room,
Yet when you open your mouth to speak,
No one hears but those close to you.
I love the way your hair falls into place when you release it from the hair tie keeping it held back.
I think I’m in love with you, but I will never tell you.
Jack May 2017
"I love you so much, baby."
you say as you push yourself in and out of my body.

"You're so beautiful, i want to marry you."
you moan as i flick my tongue across the sensitive area
on your body.

"You mean everything to me, my love."
you gasp as you have me pinned against the wall,
our bodies intertwined with one another,
facing each other.

"I don't feel anything for you anymore,
goodbye."
you express to me as i attempt to hold your hand.
Jack May 2017
im sad.
i stumbled across some pictures of my parents on their wedding day, smiling...happy.
it lead me to thinking how he would tell me....
used to tell me how i was the girl he was gonna marry
and that he wanted me forever
and he used to talk all night about our plans for the future
and how he was gonna help me realize what true love looked like because its "what we had, me and you".
Its kinda crazy how someone just changes,
like a light switch. off and on and off and on and off and...
never back on because they give up.
Its kinda crazy how i gave my all to a boy who was simply,
good with his words
and now he cant even look me in the eye anymore.
Its funny how he fell in love again
and i cant seem to get rid of him no matter how hard i try.
Jack May 2017
I saw you today
Like I do everyday
But today
Today
You were radiant.
You were smiling as if all the broken pieces in your life had been glued back together
It's nice to see you smiling again.
I missed it.
I miss you.
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