"You should smile more!"
"Don't be sad, just be happy!"*
As if it's that easy,
To simply flip a switch,
And propel myself out of bed the next morning.
What they don't understand is,
To leave my bed is to leave my depression,
To break these chain-linked sheets.
But I find comfort in the discomfort,
Because at least I can say I felt something.
When she smiles, her heart is blooming
With love and pure ecstasy;
The crinkle of her eyes whispering
Memories of a blue sky childhood.
So tell me why, when I smile
Into this cracked mirror,
I picture myself with a dandelion tongue-
As if I could choke on the roots, instead of
The image of tha little girl
They said had potential .
As if I could pretend the seeds were clouds
In a make-believe childhood.
They say it's easier to pretend than it is to be,
But how am I supposed to plaster a smile
When the walls are falling all around me?
How can I look you in the eye,
And tell you I'm happy,
When I don't even know what happy is?