Whenever it's comes down to a decision that affects others,
Think about it.
If you're going to do anything that will hurt others,
Ask if it's worth it.
Because in the end,
You're the one in charge of your life.
You define who you are, regardless of others and friends,
You have only one life.
So when you decide to hurt that person,
You better be sure it was worth it.
They are just like you, breathing and filled with purpose.
When you hurt them, have no regrets.
Because if a decision was worth it,
You wouldn't back down.
You would fight for it,
Even when you're on the ground.
Don't be a coward,
Face all your consequences with no fear.
That decision that was worth it should have been done regardless of rewards,
It's your life that you chose to stir.
Don't cry for what you've done,
Stand up and take it all.
Get up from the ground,
Don't stall.
If an action is worth it, don't regret,
Face all the consequences willingly.
You can't run from it,
No one said that life was easy.
Actions define who you are,
So stop blaming others, stop feeling pity for yourself.
Life is hard,
It's your happiness, not someone else's.
Don't live in regret,
It was your actions so face it.

I walk up the aisle,
My heart is racing for miles.
Crying family members greet me,
Trying to be happy.
The room is dimmed,
I have to continue towards the coffin.
I see her there looking just as she did before,
Yet I knew I won't see her anymore.
Tears continue to fall,
I had to ignore it all.
I finally reached my destination,
Feeling hesitation.
The first time I've seen anything like it,
I can feel the tears and emotions suddenly hit.
She laid there in peace,
Smiling slightly, her forehead no longer creased.
Her eyes closed and her hair was nicely done,
Never in my moment have I been so stunned.
I kneel on the stand close to her,
I can feel my eyes slightly blur.
I reached out and touched her hand,
No longer warm and cold in my hand.
Her veins no longer pumping blood through her body,
She would no longer hold anybody.
Peaceful,
And beautiful.
Another kind soul lost to the world,
A person I have known since before I was even a little girl.
Her beauty,
No longer to bless anybody.
Always there when someone needed her,
My dear sweet grandmother.

why should age determine a person's life?
why is it that our age keeps us hostage by a knife?
why cant a young girl who is 15 cant write a poem to be published until she is 18?
why must we follow guidelines that hold back our dreams?
the truth is I'm that girl who's poems cant be published.
I'm the girl who is held back in a home full of misery causing her anguish.
why cant i be free to make decisions in my life without someone restricting my words?
why does my age restrict my dreams, my decisions, and, most of all, my world?

A strong heart died tonight.

all you need is love,
love is the very thing that changes people.
love makes you,
love breaks you.

all you need is love,
love can be symbolized as anything, from friendship to the bells of a chapel.
love is the emotion inside you,
love is the hate within you.

all you need is love,
where will money be when you die?
love is the purity of your mind,
love is the death of your soul.

all you need is love,
it should never ever be a lie.
love is the confusion in life,
love is the only thing that continues even when youre old.

all you need is love,
it is your salvation, your saving grace.
love is the renewal of the soul,
love is the decay of thought.

all you need is love,
it is the only thing that can save the human race.
love is the metamorphosis of you as a whole,
love is the destruction of the heart, causing it to rot.

all you need is love,
all you need is life.
it hurts,
it burns,
but in the end,
its worth it, for love is an enemy but your closest friend.

It's cold,
So very cold.
As I lay here on my bed,
The air holds a terrifying dread.
I hear nothing,
I see nothing.
The only feeling I have is this bed,
Hoping to sleep like the dead.
It's the most terrifying thing to ever exist.
The dread hangs like a heavy mist.
I can feel the dark touch me,
Crawl along my back and cling.
So dark, so cold.
So terrifying, a fear that never grows old.
So different than what you were told,
It's the true feeling of being alone.

From sea to shining sea,
The land of the free.
It's America, so beautiful,
So so wonderful.
Where mothers and fathers divorce over petty thing,
Where the gang life is a supported thing.
The kids are over stressed with the standardized tests,
As if cyber and real life bullying doesn't exist.
Where tales of heroes get trampled by movie stars,
Where beauty for women leave them to starve.
Where the round plump adults use fad diets,
A congress fillled with big fat liars.
Education is stressed but no jobs available,
Where real political and social issues are swept under the table.
Scandals get shame,
Pornstars bask in fame.
Where love only matters if it's between a man and woman,
Where no one cares about no one.
So many measly votes don't even count,
Where rumors get around.
Kids want to be gangsters and pimps,
They cuss and go about unpunished.
Where corrupt corporations rules us all,
We watch as poor families fall.
Everybody is homeless,
Everybody is jobless.
We're drowning in debt caused by our own selves,
Don't forget the government's debt as well.
Where women sexually assault and abuse just the same as any man,
Where PTSD sufferers hide as much as they can.
Where people are pill poppers from all the chaos and insanity,
Where people suffer with their own vanity.
Where writers and artists die slowly from the culture,
Where everybody seems to be starved vultures.
You're a citizen for sure so long as you're an Anglo man,
Senior citizens no longer counts as human.
Where people don't love anymore,
Where there are no committed relationships anymore.
Where friends stab each other in the back,
Where everybody has their own plans.
Where people can sleep around with everybody,
It's one big giant ****.
Where everyone comes from a broken home,
Where everyone is glued to their phones.
Where Tattooed people aren't even real people,
Don't even get me started on transvestite and homosexuals.
Where people in churches don't even follow their religion,
Sometimes they are the ones who commit the most sin.
Where everyone who's different and walks away from the majority,
They are seen as freaks.
Oh America, so beautiful and sweet,
Done from your polluted oceans to your ***** streets.
Where your trees die and become furniture or get wasted,
Where everywhere is overpopulated.
Your roads always full of cars full of anger,
Your air is so polluted everywhere.
Your constitution is changed so many times,
Where your laws never changed completely to suit the times.
Your female citizens ******' are controlled by old ideals and white corrupted men,
Who are over voted and over represented.
You're swimming in debt in the trillions worth,
There's so much pollution in the earth.
Oh America you are taunted and seen as fools around the world,
Yet you stay together dear sweet girl.
Oh America let's not forget the good in you,
Don't be so blue.
You have people who love you,
People who would fight for you.
You proved the world wrong in so many scenarios back then,
You've been several friends.
We forget that you were created off the sweat and tears of our men and women.
We have changed so much,
We have learned so much.
We have seen great people that stood for change,
Despite your young age.
We were immigrants when we came,
And we did many bad things to be here today.
But the past is the past,
We must change at last.
It's time for us to stop being the idiots and prove everyone wrong,
For now it's time for us to get along.
Sweet America, oh my sweet,
Let's help you remember why we're free.

To all the skinny girls who think they are fat, I want to ask you a question. When was the last time you saw a dress you wanted, but you couldn't wear it because it was way too small? When was the last time your arm jiggled and drooped to where you can grab a fistful of skin? When have you seen stretch marks litter your skin? When have you had to take off stockings because your thighs rubbed a hole in them or because you got a bad burn? When have you been able to hold your own stomach? Yet some of you will say try exercising if you don't love your own skin. When you're chunky like me, you can't because you get ridiculed. The jerks will say "run faster ******!", "Ew hide your ugly *** from me", "look at that thing trying to exercise". People ridicule you when you stay fat AND when you're trying to lose it. They still judge you, yet some will admire you. However it's the same everywhere. It's almost like a common plague that haunts you. Then you turn to food because food doesn't judge you. Food makes you feel safe. Yet it isn't. It's killing us as well. Nowadays you are scared of food because of what's in it. Why don't you get liposuction or other weight loss surgeries? It doesn't solve the problem, it's a temporary thing that can easily go back to original and even worse when you don't do exercise. Leading to another viscous cycle of people judging you again. To those of you who have lost weight and changed your lives, congrats you made it. To those of you who judge us, at least stop doing it when we're trying to change it and exercise. To those skinny girls who think they're fat, a lot of us wish we can be you and wish we can wear those dresses or clothes you wear. To us obese women, you can change your life if you want to. I apologize when I say fat. It's just that it's a word that will continue to hang onto us. It's your choice but someone needed to say this to inform others. Someone needed to be a voice to this problem. I'm tired of inconsiderate people who makes fun of us. I'm tired of idiots trying to pull us down. So good luck to you all and may we finally shed some light onto the blind people that refuse to see our own problems. I apologize if I offend anyone, I don't mean to. I just want you all to see that there is a problem.

The world as we know it is in a transition. Yet so many of us, in my opinion, still want to close their eyes to it. I mean, who wouldn't? People are sick and dying, the world is tense and fights are common phenomenon.

I, however, believe in people. I think we have tricked ourselves into thinking that its out of our hands, none of this can be prevented, its impossible. Many people want to believe this is so, but i am a firm believer in believing that the tragedies that we face is still within our choices. That even though tragedy that someone else has inflicted upon us happened, we still have a choice to live. We still have a choice to learn. We still have a choice.

People will probably call this an ignorant way of thinking. Its naive, its stupid, thats not how the world works. However, is it? Who are we to define a world as that? If a world was truly evil, would we have compassion? Would we have love? Would we even be fighting in the first place?

I believe in a future where people can work together. I truly do because if it isnt so, what are we doing all of this for? There are some cruel people out there, fake people who will stab your back, and liars. However, ive seen honest people, ive seen hardworkers despite their own demons, and ive seen good people.

If option 1 and option 2 stink, can we not create our own option 3? We can either keep creating our self fulfilling tragedy, be stuck in a loop of sorrow and regret, be stuck in a cycle of hatred and sorrow. We can get lost in in empty happiness, unfulfilling promises, a life of comfort and avoidance of our own problems.

Or we can create a place where our problems are acknowledged and worked on. Where we still try to learn new things and win/fail on the way. Where when we need a place to breathe, we can while times we need someone, they are there. Its a messy, a naive, a stupid place. Where success isnt even guaranteed but fulfilling when we get there. Where failure stings but doesnt hold us down. Where we love each other, we care for each other, we support each other. Where instead of thinking what can i gain, its more of what can i do now.
A naive future.
A fantasy.
But a future nonetheless.

Many times I get asked what anime is. I wear anime t-shirts, I watch it with glee, I fantasize about it and have conversations about it as well. I go to conventions, I discuss it with my friends nitpicking at strong foes, and I even supported toonami coming back. Yet this question of what anime is always makes me pause. What is anime? I always think about it and I am always unsure of it. It's almost like theaters and movies, anime has many genres such as drama, romance, and even tragedy. Yet sometimes people argue that anime is nothing more than a cartoon. I could say that cartoons are only meant for kids but anime includes that as well. I could say anime has different art styles, but the same could be said for cartoons as well. I could say anime is more Japanese oriented but anime has no limitations. People question it however the same could be said of theater. Why do people love tragedy? Why do people wish to see a girl die from cancer? Why do people wish to see a couple being put through a lot? Why do people enjoy death? Anime has many genres like theater, anime has death, tragedy, and yes even ****. Do not judge anime by it's differences, do not say it's simply a cartoon. Because to some people it is their theater, their muse, their life, and their dreams and inspirations.

I can feel the fear inside me consume me,
Taking away all that i could be.
I can feel my heart pulse,
All good feelings come to a halt.
I can feel my breathing become unsteady,
My lungs feel so heavy.
Panic, fear, and fright,
All swarm and conquer day and night.
How i wish i didnt feel this way,
How i wish it would go away.
I clutch the blankets as i try to steady myself,
Trying to be my old self.
Im not strong enough,
Its never enough.
Im losing sight of my happiness,
I can feel my body wear away from stress.
Its wears you away,
How i hope i feel better one day.
Why cant it leave?
Why does this happen to me?
Fear of people and i cant seem to trust,
I feel it tarnishing me like rust.
Im fading,
Im failing.
So much emotions,
And i dont know any of them.
Why am i this way?
What are they?

There's an itch in my brain,
            That comes time and time again.
It's like an inner plague in my mind,
     It only seems to get worse with time.
Emotions flare uncontrollably,
         I cannot keep them in me.
  There they are flaring,
        Always glaring.
  I can never be happy,
I go into a sadness or get angry.
       Sometimes it's big, sometimes it's small,
   Yet it's the same reaction to all.
I wish I can fix it and be happy,
           I wish I didn't get so angry.
Sometimes I don't think,
    Sometimes I can't see.
Sometimes I want to cry and ask for help,
         But then I'm reminded that I can't help myself.
Where is my mind?
  Why are people so blind?
Sometimes I want to die and leave,
             But no one sees.
  All the pressure always surrounds me,
          Pressure from everyone including my family.
I wish I can be free from this unending cycle,
                 Such a lonely cycle.
However I can't,
        No one sees who I am.
No one sees,
              No one sees me.

A real writer reads others material and says "cool story bruh" then continues to write their own stories with influences from life.

from within me, i felt something inside me,
like there were different parts of me.
i felt a power inside me,
a feeling that wanted to be set free.
let me free, it whispered,
let me out of here.
i always wondered what it was,
where did it come from and what it really was.
it always astonished me,
it had a will and always tried to get free.
i pondered on its existence,
what gave it such a life and such resistance.
i remembered when it started to speak,
i am still that freak.
i was in the 6th grade,
for some reason i was unafraid.
i tried to push it away,
yet no matter what i did, it stayed.
i later just gave up and restrained it,
i locked it up and blocked it.
i met my first best friends that year,
and that was when my locked up prison begin to tear.
the prisoner slowly started to escape from the cage,
as i grew up with age.
8th grade year, however, reinforced its bars,
many things happened that left me scarred.
9th grade, the prison started to deteriorate,
the bars slowly started to break.
the prison exploded that year,
something that caused me fear.
i had made new friends and got a boyfriend,
that lead to me breaking that prison.
now i know who that prisoner is,
i know now where it came from and what it is.
that prisoner was the real me,
trapped inside of me.

a veiled future laid ahead of me.
you stared at me expectantly,
with your hand outstretched.
i looked at the mysterious future ahead.
what kind of future was hidden in the deep, dark unknown?
what kind of things will be shown?
would it be the bright future that i have always dreamed it would be?
or would it be full of despair and misery?
would you be loyal?
or would you be unfaithful?
would you still at me with those complex, loving eyes?
or would they be covered in hate and utter lies?
will you still see me as the same?
or will i become a beast you have to tame?
would you still welcome me warmly at the door?
or will you sneak off and cheat on me with a stupid *****?
so many questions,
should i just **** it up and take the risk?
i stare at you with a smile and take your hand.
through good times and bad,
I'll follow you anywhere,
even through the unknown and dark abyss known as our future.

a writer gets their inspiration from anywhere,
a writer can have details written with flare.
a writer can see every little thing and detail,
a writer can unleash mystery like a veil.
a writer can hear these words and their thoughts and taste,
a writer sometimes have to write with much haste.
a writer can lose that inspiration with a blink of a eye,
a writer knows that some things take time.
a writer can discard these senses and focus on what they feel,
a writer can make a persons mind reel.
a writer is like an artist,
a writer can produce a picture with such a twist.
a writer can lose themselves so easily,
a writer can become touchy feely.
a writer must go through an inevitable block,
a writer shouldn't be made fun of or mocked.
a writer uses a block to experience and try new things,
a writer can get new inspiration as fast as a ring.
a writer is different, they can see things different than any of their fellow man,
but a writer is most definitely a human.

I love your smile,
I love that you're wild.
I love your dark humor,
I love how you think I'm cuter.
I love your sweet words,
I love how good you make me hurt.
I love your fat,
I love your silly pretend gangster stance.
I love your saxophone playing,
I love the words you're always saying.
I love your strong arms,
I love your art.
I love your bearded face,
I love calling you my disgrace.
I love your laugh,
I love your ability to do math.
I love how you rub my belly,
I love how you always get jealous.
I love the way you hold me,
I love the way you look at me.
I love how you play magic the gathering,
I love how you wear all of my rings.
I love how you and I think alike,
I love how you don't know how to ride a bike.
I love how you sleep,
I even love how you weep.
I love everything about you,
I love you even when I'm angry or blue.
I'm weird,
You're weird.
You're mine forever,
You're my favorite.
**** those wannabes who pretend,
**** those who put you down again and again.
**** that ***** who broke your heart,
**** all those idiots who made your life hard.
For you are beautiful,
You are beauty.

within his heart, a seed was planted when he saw her,
feelings he didnt understand began to stir.
he continued to watch her from afar,
watching as her eyes glitter like a lonely little star.
he watched as she chased after another man,
jealous of him and incredibly sad.
he inwardly smiled in glee when she finally started talking to him,
she had finally noticed him.
he listened with an open heart when he heard her pain filled story,
he continued to bask in her glory.
he smiled when she became his friend,
feeling the beginning of a love that will never end.
he hid envy when he heard someone asked her out,
but when he heard that she said no, he felt a happiness that made him want to shout.
he was heartbroken when his other love interest betrayed him,
soon feeling better when she was there for him.
she held his hand as she helped him out of pain,
having him wrapped her finger in a tight chain.
he followed her endlessly, smiling like never before,
her laughs would make his heart soar.
he stared at her body when she wasnt looking,
he had always thought she was good looking.
finally, his heart couldnt handle waiting,
he sat at their usual spot and waited.
he yearned for her, feared when she was gone,
when he was with her, he wasnt alone.
he waited and finally saw her,
the feelings in his heart stirred.
she smiled at him,
with glimmering eyes and glowing tanned skin.
he blushed and told her his feelings,
scared of rejection and feared her leaving.
she blushed and smiled, saying she loved him too,
his heart began to flew.
it has been almost 3 years,
there have been happiness and tears.
it has almost been three years since i met him,
this is his story about how love blossomed within him.

Up and down your chest went,
It hasn't been the same since.
They're shallower now,
There's nothing we can do now.
You breathe as deep as you can while in your sleep,
I always wondered about your dreams.
The beeps of the monitor played a steady tune,
How annoying and so soon.
I crawled closer to you,
Age wasn't very nice to you.
I had met you long ago when you were but a young one,
And I was just a no one.
You saw me for what I was,
You, the young child from the bus.
You smiled and talked to me,
You spoke of faraway lands and dreams.
You won my heart then,
Warmed it up from it's cold prison.
We grew old together,
You always spoke of forever.
Now here you are in this wretched hospital bed,
This hospital, a prison full of happiness and dread.
Inhale.....
Exhale.....
Slower rhythm,
No more ****** spasms.
So still and stiff,
I placed upon your forehead a kiss.
Suddenly everything was quiet,
Except for the sound of your heart monitor causing a riot.
You're gone now, my sweet,
Never to laugh, never to cry, never to breathe.

Gut wrenching pain,
Excruciating and alive!
Let me drink your tears again,
I'll feed you more lies.
Go on my lovely cry some more,
Cry again, you sweet angel!
I am your *****,
I am your devil.
Feed me, my lovely,
Quench my thirst.
Because nothing is more heavenly,
Nothing can make this dead heart burst.
Come and cry oh so sweetly,
Cry for me, my lovely.

dear mother,
i wish i wasnt a bother.
dear mother,
i wish i was better.
dear mother,
i wish i was smarter.
dear mother,
i wish you werent oppressed by father.
dear mother,
i wish that he wasnt my father.
dear mother,
i wish you wouldnt see my boyfriend like others.
dear mother,
i wish you could see the strong love between each other.
dear mother,
i wish you would let me marry my dear sweet lover.
dear mother,
i wish you would listen to me like you do with the others.
dear mother,
i wish you never forget me, that you would remember.
dear mother,
i wish you would never get bothered.
dear mother,
i would never trade you for another.

two souls has been destroyed,
containing an endless void.
they stare into the endless eternity of time,
feeling their former selves slowly die.

she stares at her former life,
gripping closely her knife.
tears stain her face,
her eyes contained no emotion, her soul completely erased.
she looks back to the past,
happiness from back then that didnt last.
her pride was in a crumpled heap,
her depression was very deep.
she lost her supposedly unbreakable will,
and now she sat upon that window sill.
she was gone,
broken and alone.
she raised up her knife and stabbed her heart of lead,
she was now completely dead.

he drowned himself in the *****,
his mind was something he was trying to lose.
the love of his life left him,
choosing the life of sin.
he caught his lover in an embrace of another man,
and after the heartbreak, he ran.
he sat upon the floor and wept,
it has been days since he slept.
his eyes as red as blood, the bottles littered the floor,
his heart could not deal with this no more.
he tilted his head and chugged every ounce,
till he was simply drowned.
his head bashed against the floor,
breathing no more.

they sigh and held hands,
escaping from the past and their unfortunate ends.
destruction of souls never end,
it simply ends with the persons own destruction.
however sometimes its a beginning,
their hearts are now beating.
death brought them together,
making them leave their lives forever.
two souls were destroyed,
only to find the one that could fill their voids.

life is fickle,
life is difficult.
life is sweet and moody,
life is dark and broody.
we question things and people,
from the small child to the old and feeble.
so many questions that we still cant grasp,
from the real boring to the shocking truths that makes us gasp.
sometimes we are the ones who create these questions,
sometimes its another person.
life is already difficult as it is,
everyone knows this.
yet its our job as human beings to help the others out,
and not make them scream and shout.
however we feast on sadness and enjoy the hot taster of anger,
we yearn for thrills and danger.
we have monsters in the world waiting for us,
we can even find those monsters within us.
everyone yearns for release, a way out of life and its horrors,
we even get pushed to our breaking points and borders.
yet if we let those monsters win,
whats the point of living?
there will always be monsters,
but if we let them win, will we become a lost soul or a monster?

i've always wondered how people will react if i disappeared?
would they shed a tear?
gone i would be,
no trace of me.
would they cry if they realized my presence was missing?
would they think about me?
i wonder if they will even notice,
its a parasite in my brain ever so potent.
will they care?
will they even notice if im not there?
will he care?
would he shed tears?
if i disappear, i wont burden him anymore,
i wont hold him back anymore.
would he care if i was gone?
would he care if i was cold and alone?
would he?
would they?
would you?
what would happen if i disappeared out of the blue?

Do you ever get lost in your depression
      Lost in your obsession?
Do you ever just want to stop being strong
        Even when you're the one who's wrong?
Do you ever just want to cry
        And just die?
Do you ever just want to escape from reality
         Even when all you've ever wanted was to be happy?
Do you ever just want to leave
         Let everyone be?
Do you ever just wonder if you are not making a mistake
       Still feeling like ***** up anyways?
Do you ever just wished you were as beautiful as the people you admire
         Never left undesired?
Do you ever just wish you could be better
          But you can't and it doesn't even matter?
Do you ever just wish you weren't yourself
          Not unhappy, not undesirable, not in need of any help?

Don't you ever just wish to be free?

I don't care who you are,
I don't care if you're a famous star.
I don't care what you do,
I don't care which family it was that you grew.
I don't care who said about anything,
I don't care if you're the next big thing.
I don't care if you're up in ranks above,
I don't care if you're the only person I love.
I don't care about anything,
DON'T MAKE FUN OF SOMEONE'S DREAM!

Coughing until there is no air left in my lungs,
So terrible, it stung.
My nose is clogged,
My vision is fogged.
The smell of hospital lingers,
I feeling pins and needles in my fingers.
Close to death,
I am doomed to rest in bed.
The IVs are inserted through my skin,
Quite a situation I got myself in.
It's cold,
When did I get so old?
Nurses are running about,
My voice is so weak, I can't even shout.
Who am I?
Where am I?
I cough again,
Feeling blood run down my chin.
It's so empty here,
Can't anybody hear?
The light is so bright,
My vision sees only white.
Why do I cling so desperately to life?
How is death easier than life?
My body is trembling,
I can hear my ears ringing.
I close my eyes,
And wait as the remaining parts of me slowly die.
It's failing now, the system is crashing,
Listen to my heart in it's desperate thrashing.
Memories are whirling around in my skull,
I breathe my last breath, listening to death's call.

i apologize for my error,
it is a almighty terror,
so as a sorry i made this poem for something i did, but you will never know,
because its like my towns rare fall of snow,
there one minute,
gone in the next to our disappointment,
so have fun,
and enjoy this bizarre poem!

I'm a moth to your flame,
A insect to your light.
I'm a flower to your rain,
A star in your night.
I'm a soul who is attracted to you,
A naive invisible being.
I wouldn't have friends if it wasn't for you,
A lonely, imaginary thing.
Your eyes stared into my soul,
Never have I felt so naked.
Your laugh warmed me from the cold,
My heart ran itself ragged.
My mind screamed at me to run,
I am blind and deaf to it.
I ran towards you and the fun,
Ignoring all of the signs and wit.
I jumped happily in your arms,
Your hands felt good on my back.
I didn't know that you would cause harm,
You were preparing for your attack.
You slowly turned for the worst,
You had your hands around my neck.
My tears had burst,
My heart was in a wreck.
You killed me so slowly,
You didn't leave a trace.
Your arms now wrapped me painfully,
There's a mask over my face.
Oh the pain,
Oh the hurt.
My tears fell like the rain,
Yet my heart feels empty like the desert.
A fatal attraction it was,
I should have seen it coming.
I should have seen your flaws,
Seen through your lies and cunning.
However I have no regrets,
Because I have finally lived.
It was me who made my own bed,
It was time to lay in it.

once upon a time,
there were four kings who began their earthly time.
these men ruled their kingdoms,
and they were fearsome.

one king, king of spades,
had problems with his trades.
he was drowning in debt,
and many of the problems were never met.
he doubted himself,
all of the misery led to his queen to **** herself.
he soon fell ill with a deadly flu,
as he did, more problems grew.
the kingdom was overthrown,
and the king had died all alone.

the king of hearts took over,
with his eyes as green as a clover.
he always shared,
he actually cared.
however he was too loving,
always with different women and cheating.
his wife who was beautiful and charming,
was not very forgiving.
when the king slept,
the queen crept.
she smiled as she plunged the knife into him,
continuously stabbing him for every time he sinned.
the next morning, an astonishing sight was found,
the queen held her husband, blood pooling on the ground.
she smiled as she sang a song to him,
forgiving him for his sins.
she was imprisoned,
and, later, was hanged.

the king of clubs was next,
he was much different than the rest.
he had amazing luck and was very social,
he got along well with the locals.
his business flourished,
he had a lot of courage.
he had tried his luck too much,
the number of enemies he had was more than a bunch.
he turned into the wrong alley,
he was surely folly.
he was assassinated,
by the people he had aggravated.
he was found stripped of his money,
alone in a cold, dark alley.

the last king was the king of diamonds,
who ruled with as much power of a fierce lion.
he was energetic,
he was successful and creative.
he passed judgement harshly on crime,
he grew wiser and wiser with time.
he gained rewards,
he was skilled with a sword.
however his imagination was far too great,
he would always see things everywhere, even beyond the gates.
he disappeared one day,
a search party began to search for several days.
finally on the 4th day, they found him,
leaning against a tree limb.
he had carved out his face and stabbed his eyes,
words on his chest said "the tree lies."
they found many cravings upon the trees,
with a lot of crazy ramblings.

soon the kingdom was left in pieces,
they all died from several different diseases.
the kings died several different ways,
caused by fate's cruel heartless games.

When you're down on your knees,
You must rise.
When your own family stands in your way,
You push them away.
When the monsters are calling out to you,
You chop them up into a stew.
When the idiots point out your flaws,
Just remember you're above them all.
Fight!
Don't go quietly into the night!
If your boyfriend/ husband/ love of your life hits you,
Knock that ****** out and push a lawsuit.
If you're tired of a man not working,
You kick his *** into doing something.
If you're wanting new opportunities,
Make those changes in your country.
If you're upset that someone is cheating on you,
You get yourself someone good for you.
If you want to cheat with someone,
You better leave the one you're with to do that with anyone.
If you want drama out of your life,
You cut those people out like a knife.
If you want to die,
You get out of that stupid repeating lie.
Wake the **** up,
Stand up.
It's a revolution,
It's time to take action.

We were like fire and air.
We had a love so strong and we didn't care.
You were my fire,
You were never tired.
You kept on going,
You kept on growing.
I was your air,
I added mischief and added to your flare.
I gave you everything,
I expected nothing.
You grew and grew,
Sometimes I wished I was you.
You were so strong and firey,
You reminded me of a teddy bear, so warm and cuddly.
You would win my heart with a simple gaze into my eyes,
Your kisses were strong and sweet and made my heart fly.
You made me feel beautiful for the first time,
Your eyes always shined.
You would always say you needed me,
I would have my doubts but still believed.
But now you changed,
It's too late.
My lovely campfire has burned into a forest fire,
Only focused on your own desires.
I'm suffocating from the smoke of your own actions,
You burnt me due to your reactions.
I'm dying slowly with ashes and soot,
I can feel them getting shoved down my throat.
You took more of me as you pleased,
You've grown deaf to my pleas.
I'm dying,
I'm here crying.
My heart is being seared by your flames,
Things will never be the same.
As I lay here, fading away,
I smile as I get engulfed by your flames.

I love them,
I enjoy every minute with them.
We'd all meet at someone's house and talk,
It was always crazy **** but real talk.
They don't pretend to be who they are,
They are who they say they are.
However because of some people, the trust is shaky,
My heart is aching.
Relationships based off of *** destroyed us,
They did have good intentions but in the end, that was all it really was.
The thing that really stings,
Is knowing they separated into groups and go do things.
My messages untouched and empty,
Time is something I have plenty.
One group here,
One group there.
I'm stuck in the nonexistent middle,
Trying to solve this complex riddle.
There are few here with me,
People who agree.
Now I start looking into it,
Was all the time spent with them worth it?
Because now I'm here waiting to see them,
Trying to be with them!
But I just get ignored,
I get tossed away like trash that has no use anymore.
I sit here and think,
Were they really my friends from the beginning?

You're a ******* coward,
Here I am getting worse and worse by every hour!
You don't bother to call,
You don't bother to do anything at all.
I can't tell you **** because all you do is tell me I'm wrong,
You always treat me like I'm wrong!
I'm not ******* stupid,
Here you are whining and complaining like a *****!
I tell you I feel ******* empty,
I tell you that I'm lonely!
I've listened to your problems and fixed them,
Yet you won't even help me with my problems.
You think that I'm just overreacting,
You think that I'm just lying!
Why would I complain if it wasn't a problem?!
Why do I beg and plea for your help to fix them?!
You think that you're some ******* saint,
You think you don't deserve all of my complaints!
You ******* left me when I needed you most,
You left and treated me like a ghost!
You ignored my problems,
You went out with your friends.
You chose to fix another ******* girl's problems over mine,
She's not ever your family, yet you wasted my time!
You chose her so go **** yourself,
I can be with somebody else!
You treated me like a ******* *****,
Yet I was stupid for letting you have more!
I was your ******* girlfriend and fiancée for 4 ******* years,
Yet all you ever did was cause me tears!
So ******* darling,
Thanks for all your stupid stalling.

go ahead and hide from me,
go ahead and leave.
go ahead and run from me,
a coward is the only thing i see.
go ahead and call me names,
there is nothing that we can change.
go ahead and call me a child,
for i am not the one who acts wild.
go ahead and try to control my life,
im done with being treated like a petty housewife.
go ahead and beg me to stay,
i will still run away.
go ahead and try to convince me to change my mind,
im done with being left behind.
go ahead and tell me all those sweet lies,
i love the sound of your cries.
go ahead and tell me that i mean a lot to you,
i dont want be with you.
go ahead and tell me im your family,
i still remember you left me when i needed you daily.
go ahead and hide you coward,
i will keep going forward.
go ahead,
my feelings for you are dead

Hate crimes are too cute of a name,
It's should be "crimes against humanity" or "humanity's ultimate shame".
Listen well,
For I have a story to tell.
God says to LOVE everyone,
No hate towards anyone.
However we see Christians say gay marriages are sins,
Hating on anyone who's different.
The bible was supposed to educate about love,
A word of peace and advice from the man above.
All those people mentioned had their own sins,
Each the same yet different.
However a true Christian would show nothing but love,
For it is HIS word, the man with the angels from above.
When those responsible for inflicting pain upon those who are different,
I can't wait for their reaction.
Because he will look down upon them and punish them for being tormentors,
Not his loyal followers.
Then there are those who aren't Christian,
Those who just don't like anyone who's different.
You all know who you are,
Your crimes against humanity are like deep tissued scars.
You hate on someone who has different colored skin,
You hate on them for all they've been.
You say they only take jobs and breathe our air,
Even though you know it's unfair.
It's not them you should be blaming for this,
Blame the government.
They were born that way,
They didn't have a say.
All those who've blamed others due to their skin color is a *****!
Your entire mindset should be gone.
"These Mexicans are taking our jobs",
No they are not.
They're doing what you would do,
Work even though it's hard and new.
You shouldn't blame a certain race because you're so insignificant and unable to work,
You would do the same if you were in the same situation as him or her.
"We need to stop these illegals from coming in",
I get it but don't punish the person.
They work hard, it's not their fault that they want the American dream,
Even though it is only a dream.
Instead of hating on humanity,
Why don't you do something for everybody?
Stop being a vile idiot,
Do something that's worth it.
It's time for us to stop blaming others,
We are in charge of our destinies to make it better.
Stop with the prejudices,
Stop with the injustices.
Stop the hate,
Deal with the problems that are to blame.
This isn't a fantasy,
This is reality!
Now shut up and quit your hate,
You're in charge of your own fate.

he cries when she stood before him, breaking his heart,
he cries when she says she hated him from the start.
he cries when she tries to leave,
he cries when she threw her engagement ring in the grass and leaves.
he cries when he stared her in the eyes,
he cries when she said that everything was lies.
he cries when she made him crawl in the grass to look for the ring,
he cries when he hears her softly and happily sing.
he cries when she stared at him with no emotion,
he cries when he looks for the ring with a lot of devotion.
he cries when he brings forth the ring only to be rejected,
he cries when she seems to be unaffected.
he cries when she tells him a story,
he cries when he says im sorry.
he cries, she remembers,
he cries, she dismembers.
she cries, everything she held in for years leaking out,
she cries from her heart, everything pouring out.
she cries when she remembers the time he pushed her away,
she cries when promises are made but never get fulfilled the next day.
she cries when she remembers when he doesnt talk to her,
she cries when she remembers when he did nothing when the bullys bullied her.
she cries when he would abandon her for others,
she cries when she remembers plans getting cancelled for one reason or another.
she cries when he used to toy with her emotions,
she cries when she remember all those tears she shed in every pillow and couch cushion.
she cries when they had all those fights,
she cried when her heart died.
she cried when he smiled,
now he cries when she insanely smiled.
he cries when she reached out to him,
he cries when she forgave him.
he cries when she kissed him with no thought whatsoever,
he cries when he realizes that he's her slave forever.

I am filled with a hatred,
A constant stream of negative thoughts drown my head.

I am suffocating under the weight of my loathing,
A river of pain where im floating.

I feel as if I'm cursed,
The happiness and love from others feels rehearsed.

I am a doll of broken dreams,
Empty and falling apart at the seams.

I am hanging by a thread everyday,
Walking a thin rope to avoid all this pain.

I stare into the distance within a shelter of myself,
Never moving as i hide in my shell.

There are good days,
I hate that I'm numb on a very great day.

I'm either numb or in pain,
The happiness comes as frequent as a desert's rain.

Maybe im selfish,
Maybe im just helpless.

I get swallowed in fear when talking to people,
My thoughts dealing hits blow after blow.

I can't tell people that i love my feelings,
They'll just say it's nothing.

I'm suffocating inside myself,
The things I love doing doesn't help.

What's going on with me?
That question is only answered in theories.

If I go,
They'll know.

I can't take the pity,
I don't want their fury.

I hate it!
I hate all this ****!

I hate it
Hate it

Hate
Hate
Hate
Hate...

I hate feeling like this,
I want a way out of this
I want to be free of this hell,

I want to love myself.

i truly hate you,
youre the one who made me blue.
youre the one who tossed me aside,
always making me cry.
youre the reason why i stay up in the middle of the night,
crying from another fight.
youre the reason why i question myself,
wishing i could die and **** myself.
youre the reason why i feel abandoned,
getting pushed away after we spent a scandalous night of passion.
youre the reason why i question you,
always talking to a friend who used to have a crush on you.
youre the reason why i cant feel anymore,
always making me start a war.
youre the reason why i hear a voice in my head,
who wishes for slaughter and bloodshed.
youre the reason why i cant trust,
further damaging my heart of rust.
youre the reason why i hate being me,
always judging me.
youre the reason why i cant go out,
always cancelling our plans for a guys night out.
you never did choose me,
im never truly free.
i cry more now than i did without you,
i truly hate you.
i ******* hate you,
but i ******* love you.

i love you with all my heart and soul,
only you can fill this empty hole.
i constantly think that this is too good to be true,
i cant help but love you.

i yearn for you,
i breathe for you.
youre everything i wished you would be,
i need you beside me.
i need you to be with you,
all because i love you.

i cant see anything clearly anymore,
i finally found what im fighting for.
you see me the same,
even after the things that make me ashamed.

i yearn for you,
i breathe for you.
youre everything i wished you would be,
i need you beside me.
i need you to be with you,
all because i love you.

you saved me from myself,
you broke me out of my shell.
i wish for nothing more than to be with you,
we stay together even when things are blue.
i love you more than anything,
you make my heart sing.
if i had to choose anything that i would do,
i will always choose you!

i yearn for you,
i breathe for you.
youre everything i wished you would be,
i need you beside me.
i need you to be with you,
all because i love you.
all because i love you.
all because i love you...

Is it wrong for me to want to leave? Is it wrong for me to want to go to a technical college and get away from my family? To live in the dorms and study to become a video game designer? To become something I want? I live in a small town that is definitely not like the cities. It's slow and quiet here. However, I know that my desired profession requires me to get out of here, to leave. So instead of being an idiot, I'm planning on building independence. However, my family thinks it's stupid, why go to a technical college when I'm good where I'm at? Or at least that's what they say. I hate that no matter how many times I try, they want me to be something that I'm not. I can't deal with the stress of medical life, I know that I have no patience, I prefer to do something that I'm told, I don't have the smooth cunning of a lawyer or the nerves of steel like a police officer or marine. I love video games. I want to learn it and produce my own creative ideas. I have so many of them, they could even be bestsellers. I'm a procrastinator but if it's something that I'm interested in, I believe that I can finish it way before deadlines. I'm not one to go for the money. Frankly, I believe that if you're happy and you're always struggling, then you don't need anything else. I know it's a stupid fantasy to some but I want to live out my dreams. I told my family and all they do is look at me and say it's stupid. "Why don't you be a dentist?" "Be a doctor", "money is the important thing in life". I hate that. They are just trying to use me, I believe. It's always been that way. They only want to live off of my success, they never cared about my happiness. I know that nowadays it's different. I blame the government. I'm sorry but congress is borrowing too much money, our US dollar is devaluing and debt is growing. The world already knows this. We're being laughed at as we speak. I just want to live out a dream though. I want to be happy. So is it wrong to be happy? Is it even wrong to be me?

My soul is clawing me up inside.
    Yet i still strive.
My soul wears away with time.
       Yet i still strive.
My mind screams at me like a warden to its prisoner.
         Yet i still strive.
My surroundings cage me like prey within a venus fly trap.
           Yet i still strive.
The fire in my heart roars and dies but never balances as it sears me alive.
             Yet i still strive.
I can feel my shoulders crumble from the weight of expectations slowly crushing me.
               Yet i still strive.
I can feel my vision of bright skies and bright futures fade.
                 Yet i still strive.
I can feel my throat close in on itself, forcing me to watch my relationships from afar.
                     Yet i still strive.
I can feel the eyes on me, watching me, waiting for me to fall.
                        Yet i still strive.
I can hear death tempting me with his sweet lullaby of everlasting peace.
                          Yet i still strive.
I can hear the echoes of my past calling my name, screaming my worth.
                              Yet i still strive.
I can taste the tears of all my sorrow, the salt bitter and sad.
                                 Yet i still strive.
I can see the shadows of my former self, hating me.
                                   Yet i still strive.
I can see her point her finger at me and ask, "why do you even try?"

I answered, "because i know that I'll get by."
For the people who care for me,
For the times that i have suffered,
For my happiness,
                                                      I'll strive.

jack loves people,
he participated in the most successful of chapels.
jack loves a crowd,
he was always happy and seems to float on a cloud.
jack loves the population,
he always loved them and was interested in their associations.
jack loves the world,
he loved every man, woman, boy, and girl.
jack loves everyone,
especially the tasty ones.
jack loves the look on their faces,
he loved the way they pray for forgiveness for their disgraces.
jack loves their blood,
he always giggled as they tried to crawl away in the mud.
jack loves their eyes,
he always laughed at their obvious fright.
jack loves their screams,
he always loved hearing them in his dreams.
jack loves the muscles,
he would sing as he severed the body parts of a couple.
jack loves the rings on their fingers,
he would always keep those fingers together.
jack loves the way they taste,
the blood and meat always made his heart race.
jack loves people, that fact forever remains true,
now the question is, do you love people too?

I'm that girl no one loves,
The one who's head is in the clouds.
I'm the girl who people talk to when they need help,
The one they spill all that they have felt.
I'm the girl who people can spill secrets to,
The one who really cares about you.
I'm the girl who sits there with them as they cry,
The one who hears all their problems in life.
I'm the girl who gives them hope,
The one who cheers them up with a joke.
I'm the girl they mistake as strong,
The one that will help people along.
I'm the girl who they never noticed,
The one who's sacrificed.
I'm the girl who gets ignored,
The one who people leave after they get bored.
I'm the girl who's never been noticed by anyone,
The one people abandon when they're done.
I'm the girl who's tears are never noticed,
The one who's happy personality is completely bogus.
I'm the girl who always feels ugly,
The one who wants to die because of the disgusting feelings.
I'm the one who gets rejected by others,
The one who will protect you fiercely like a mother.
I'm the girl who's not even considered a girl by people,
I'm the one who's considered an outcast and a witch to them all.
I'm the girl who is here to the end,
The one who's just a friend.

Normally I would say never give up, but there are times where even my patience and will gets pushed, where my strong wall get weaker and very fragile. It always feels like I'm drowning and I hate that it's always the people I love most are the ones who hurt me more than the others. I always feel inadequate, under appreciated, and most of all ignored. Funny, I always thought that the enemies of the world was always the people outside, the ones who judge us from afar and avoid us. I know now that my true enemies are those who I love, those who can break me down with even the slightest bit of rejection, the ones who can make me cry for their pain. I don't want to love anymore, it hurts more than anything. Even he used it against me, he knew I was weak and that I wouldn't leave because of it. He tells me so many sweet lies, nowadays all I do is cry. He doesn't respect me, he always says something that really hurts more than anything. I went through so much mental torture, so much emotions that has been bottled inside are now leaking steadily, coming out dangerously and starting to rupture and crack. I don't want to love anymore, but I can't help it! I'm only human. I never considered myself an overly religious person, I actually try to balance it. However, god taught me to love, never hate. What can I do when I don't want to lose the people I love?

I'm tired of being strong. I'm tired of pretending who I am. I'm tired of my family saying be a doctor or dentist so they can get free visits. I'm tired of being compared to my siblings. I'm tired of being the only hope. I'm tired of college. I'm tired of this downward *****. I'm tired of being jobless. I've never had a job. I'm tired of being pressured to do great and perfect. I'm tired of being ugly. I'm tired of being the fat girl in the group. I'm tired of people taking credit for all of my hardwork. I'm tired of my family putting me as the person to blame when something goes wrong. I'm tired of hearing my dad say it's all about the money. I'm tired of hearing my mom ask if I got my financial aid check. I'm tired of my sister asking me to take care of her son. I'm tired of her telling me to work places so she can benefit. I'm tired of my brother pushing me around while the other stands around. I'm tired of my boyfriend not listening to me. I'm tired of him telling me that I act like a child. I'm tired of him saying that I shouldn't give up when he already has. I'm tired of people giving up on me. I'm tired of everything. I'm tired of life. I just want it all to go away.

listen closely,
listen fully.
hear the thrumming of a beetle's wing,
hear the wind begin to sing.
listen to true beauty,
listen to the reality.
hear the story that the trees tell,
hear the history as the leaves fall.
listen to the ancient wisdom given by the sky,
listen to how well the clouds lie.
hear the grass whisper sweet compliments,
hear the flowers present.
listen to the chiming of the water ring,
listen to how well the rock recite tales so amazing.
hear the call of the animals,
hear the bugs begin to crawl.
listen to the screams of the city,
listen to the sizzling of the toxicity.
hear the pounding of footsteps and daily life,
hear the swift sound of a knife.
listen to the cries of hunger,
listen to the tapping of fingers.
hear the screams of anger,
hear the shouts of hate against others.
listen to the crushing of childhood dreams,
listen to the victims screams.
hear the sin as marriage spiral down to hell,
hear the lies that they sell.
listen to the hits of a fight,
listen to the person who turned away from the light.
hear the life slip out of a person,
hear the person within a prison.
listen to the hatred within humans,
listen to the sadness felt by every girl and man.
hear the death of the hope,
hear the imagination begin to choke.
listen to the thrumming of a poets heart,
listen to it tear apart.
hear the suicide of originality,
hear the death of personality.
listen to it all closely,
and write it all down carelessly.
listen to it all,
hear the down spiral of it all.
listen to carefully,
listen to the downfall of humanity.

That small town girl truly is living in a  lonely world.
That city boy knows what troubles the girl,
Doing nothing,
Seeing her sanity rotting.
He says dont stop believing,
Dont stop achieving.
The girl can no longer hear his words,
They repeat over and over,
Not changing a thing.
What she wouldn't give to change everything?
He keeps saying that useless line like his life depended on it,
She was so sick of it.
She can't breathe,
She can't sleep.
She feels like she's falling into a pit,
A useless and empty pit of meaningless ****.
She can't hear those words anymore,
She has already passed that door.
She's gone now,
Leaving behind a dark cloud.
There is the city boy again,
Mourning his friend.
It's just a city boy in a lonely world.
A truly hopeless lonely world.

love is like a poison,
love is like a drug.
love is like a prison,
love is like a grave meant to be dug.
our love is constantly going into a repetition,
love to us is our freedom,
our salvation,
and most importantly a reason.
it gave us a reason to live,
a reason to hope for the best.
it is our motive,
our love isn't like the rest.
our love is my dream,
love is my ticket from this hell.
your love is something that i cant see
but its there and i can tell.
my anger is our villain,
trying to separate us and our dream.
it is a useless attempt for we tied together by fates ribbon,
and closer and closer our dream can be clearly seen.
is love really that bad as people say?
in our case no its not bad or great,
but it doesn't matter, our love will never decay,
because in my heart, i believe we are soul mates.

Your rose tempted me to you,
You lead me to your garden and the sky's were ever so blue.
I loved you and your beauty,
Would ever think you were so deadly?
I got closer and closer until I fell,
And it was nightfall, unleashing hell.
Your thorns wrapped tightly on my heart,
Oh so painful, oh so sharp.
My tears quelled your thirst,
I never knew how much it could hurt.
Your thorny vines wrapped around me like a lover,
Oh so painful, so much pleasure.
My wounds are deep,
I would cry in my sleep.
I would watch the night sky and tried to reach for the stars,
So many wound, so many scars.
Your vines wrapped tightly around my body,
I was your prisoner even though I was nobody.
Your rose started to wilt,
Yet no matter what, I felt no guilt.
I wanted to bleed,
I wanted to believe.
Wrap me up tighter,
Give me more pain and anger.
I want to live,
I want to love.
I'm merely an insect to you,
I need you.
Let my tears quench your never ending thirst,
Squeeze my heart until it burst.
Bring the sun and rain,
I never want to be free again.
Wrap me up tighter in your garden and your vines,
I only ask for you to be mine and only mine.