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A Dec 2018
I can't explain my mind
It's a mess, an inscrutable maze
Full of complex twists and turns

I can't tell you my face
You may cringe and back away
Unimaginable horrors engraved in my eyes

I can't tell you my childhood
The hate I received
And the love I was rejected

I can't tell you my love
The soul I would have battered and bruised
If only for a goodbye

I can't tell you the answers
I don't know them
I still struggle to survive a day

But I can tell you,
through experience
that it gets better.
My mind has created a barrier to my heart
A Dec 2018
I live in a bubble.
Floating across the world.
Minding my own business,
In a sphere of happiness
Am I suffocating in it?
Possibly, but I like my bubble.
Life's worries can't get me
When people wish to pop it,
I fly above them, out of reach.
But the end is inevitable.
I'm going to have to face the real world
Pay taxes and get a job
Be on my own; all alone
But right now I'm in a bubble
And I don't have to face the outside world.
Savor the good moments, they are rare
A Dec 2018
You say it won't work;
That we need a break
Was it me?
I'll change
So you will love me

I'll replace my face,
So you can finally stand it
I'll shatter my soul,
So you can walk over it
I'll put on a collar,
The leash in your hands

Tell me what you want
I'll become anything
For you
Don't ever change yourself for anybody but you
A Dec 2018
Black and Sleek
Polished and Shiny
Heavy with the weight it can bare
One's anger shot through the barrel
Piercing an innocent heart
Dripping red, splatters to the floor
Iron mixes with gunpowder
Two souls clashes together
Their eyes meeting
The first flashes with regret
The other rolls back and leaves

The release of one's anger
Always has it's cost
I had to make a poem about a gun for school
A Dec 2018
My boundaries?
My skin
My chubby fingers
My hairless head
My crooked nose
My fat body
My soul is wrapped in these things
How do I become free
How do I shed my skin
How do I fly as high as the birds in the sky
How do you build wings?

Do I have to face my demons?
A Dec 2018
When faced with darkness for extended amounts of time
You become used to it
You find comfort in that dark corner of your mind
Thoughts running free
You learn to embrace every dark thought
Never seeing the knife until it's in your back
The steady rise of the tsunami with each new thought
The big wave finally comes crashing down
Stripping me of my tears
My memories scratch their way out of the tight box
Coming from every angle, the unwanted emotions
The insults come swooping in
The self hate worse with each thought
My body shakes with the sobs
My pillow covering muting me
I feel dizzy
I feel sick
The wave retracts and I am left raw
I pick myself up
And adjust my mask
I'm ready to go on.
A Dec 2018
I sit here
    In the calm
I'm numb
    I just don't know it
I didn't know the answer
    So I guessed
And it cost me
    My dreams now lie in smithereens
My heart,
    In shambles
How do I pick myself back up?

— The End —