I could ask you to stay,
But there's really nothing left to say.

This breakup has been emotional and long,
But I know I'm strong.

I guess we naturally grew apart,
But it still hurts in my heart.

We went days without speaking or sending a text,
And I could only wonder what was next.

There were times we couldn't look each other in the eye.
How did we get this far, and why did something so special have to die?

As I write this, memories flood me.
They remind of all we used to be.

Even when things were bad, I never thought this relationship would end.
Our broken hearts I thought we could mend.

Now you've left without a goodbye.
I've got no energy to even cry.

I knew it was over when we started doing things on our own.
You got so distant and I was alone.

I tried getting you to notice that I was still there,
But you made up your mind and didn't care.

There are many nights when you're all that's on my mind.
I hope happiness is what you find.

There are days when I just can't get out of bed.
But "try" is what you always said.

So every day I try to put on a smile.
Even if it's not a real one for a while.

We were together for so many years, so do you ever shed tears?
I know I've got to let you go,

And someday I will,
But mixed emotions are what I feel.

We both made our fair share of mistakes.
It feels like I'm drowning in sadness, anger, and resentment, all in different lakes.

I honestly wish you nothing but the best
As my strength and endurance is put to the test.

You are ever changing.
But I am never changing.
Inevitable.
The change is inevitable.
No matter how hard one tries.
The world is ever changing

I
am
forgotten.

I once was this beautiful bright flower,
then he came along and plucked me from my spot.
He stuck me in a vase,
watered me,
nurtured me.
Then forgot me.

I
am
forgotten

I was the blue sky,
and he was the red sky.
We could not stay away.
Then he bled into me,
and I turned to purple.
He decided, purple wasn't for him.
Then he forgot me.

I
am
forgotten

As thanksgiving approaches,
I count my blessing
1 by 1,
2 by 2,
so on and so forth...

But when it comes to you,
I find myself counting you as both a blessing,
and a curse..

I turn to see you
You're not there
Gone
You took a piece of me when you left.
I gave it to you, thinking you would stay
but now you're
Gone.
And with you,
went my favorite part of me.

Grown Up is all she wanted to do
to be a big girl was  going to be a dream come true.
Well she grew up and reality hit.
"Yes i can go on a roller coaster by myself"
"yes I can have a phone"
...
I get all these privileges.
But Im not a little girl.
I don't have the sweet innocence of a child.
I don't have the mind of a child that doesn't care what people think because I care.
I don't want to but I keep going back.
Now the big girl wants to backwards and be a little girl.
A happy girl  
A free girl.

Sometimes
Hearts are broke

Sometimes
Hearts are fixed

Sometimes
Hearts never beat

Hearts are weird organs
because everyone says follow your heart

But its not the heart leading you,
its the brain.
The brain cant be broken  or healed.

The brain works before you're ever born,
and in  most cases,
does not stop until 7 minutes
after your heart

so maybe my hearts not broken,
my brain is telling it to be,
so i think it is


but really, its not
and im ok

we are a fire;
we are flaming with red-hot passion
and we burn
and burn
and burn

we are a fire;
and it only took a spark
for us to light a wildfire
and we burn
and burn
and burn

we are a fire;
we need oxygen to live
but we are too close to breathe
and we burn
and burn
and burn
out.
-C.H

His smile could light up a room,
and so much more.
I could think about his smile,
and find myself smiling as well.
His touch sent me into a frenzy
His presence,
it was the worse,
it made me forget everything I knew.
and left me thinking about him till I drifted off to sleep,
then, I would dream,
of him, and me....

I am ok

When its storming outside,
I am OK

When its foggy and cold,
I am OK

even when it feels like all hope is lost,
I am OK

Even when Im not,
I will be OK

I believe in the ever after
I believe in the here and now
I believe that you and I
Will make it through somehow

I believe what I do
And what I do not see
But mostly what I believe
Is what I believe

I believe there is good
In the heart of man
But I believe in an instant
We can let the evil in

I believe if we aren't careful
All this will come undone
And if we don't let love dry long enough
It will begin to run

I believe there's an answer
If you look hard enough
Which one you come up with
Is a matter of the heart

I believe if yours is beating
To the rhythm that love makes
There's not a thing that you won't do
To give that love away

I believe in the power
That a hug can hold
And I believe you can achieve anything
If negativity is let go

I believe there's a ring
That holds a special key
And once you open that door up
Then you too will believe
All that I believe

I don't know what to write
because when I write about your laugh
I miss the days when we would laugh endlessly.

When I write about your eyes,
all I can see is is the light blue that I could get lost in

Every single time.


So I don't know what to write,
because I only want to write about you...

But I can't write about you,
without hurting myself more

Call me a name,
**** me with words,
Forget about me,
You say it's what I deserve.

I've had my pain,
all from you,
Now I'm done.

I've moved on,
though you still haven't.
I really don't care.

I don't understand how you seem so perfect.
I don't understand how your smile can light up a room. (And so much more)
I don't understand why I feel this way.
You're a friend, nothing else.
So why do I find myself thinking of you,
when I shoud be paying attention to my classes?
Why do I find myself doodling your name everywhere, and hearts?
Why is this happening?
I don't understand....

The other day, Someone told me that I changed over summer,
I said that I didn't. They're crazy, I'm just the same.
I guess they were right,
I have changed after all.
I am Independent,
I am strong,
I don't need anyone.
I'm not holding anyone in my life anymore,
nor do I plan on it.
I can handle myself,
for I am not a child anymore.
I guess that he was right.
I have changed,
maybe for the best,
maybe for the worst.
I dont know yet.
But I'll find out soon enough.
So here's to the future,
and the new me.

You asked if I ate tody,
I said yes, of course.
I lied.

You asked if I've cut recently,
I said no.
I lied.

You asked if I was ok,
I said yeah, I'm fine.
I lied

You asked me if I was happy,
I said yes, knowing it would make you happy.
I lied.

in three words alone
you could either destroy my life
or build it

I miss you
Your obnoxious laugh
Your double knee

I miss you
The rotating doors of girls
who planned a future w you


I miss you
My uncle, My bestfriend
My role model, My idol

I miss you.
Sergeant First Class Tyler Durden


Gone to soon

i use a fake smile
I hide in stories and poems
I get sad easily.
if you think i'm gonna change for you
you're WRONG
Im. Not. Like. Them.

There he goes walking with his friends
Little does he know he's got my heart tucked in his back pocket
I stand there waitin' for you to notice
That I'm crushin on you, boy, and I just can't stop it

He flashes a smile and I melt like butter
He speaks to me and I can only stutter

Here I stand staring at my feet
When he walks by, can he hear my heart beat?
It's got its melody when he's around
He picks me up when I'm feeling down

When he looks into my eyes and smiles
Can he see how much he drives me wild?
He's adorable and wonderful
Incredible and unbelievable

I wish I could tell him everything I feel
And hearts not the only thing I want to steal
His breath, his kiss
I wanna be the one he'll miss

When he closes his eyes
Wanna be his last goodbye
His most treasured
Forever...

Innocent girl,
afraid of the world.
They have no idea what goes on in your mind.

They can't see the cuts.
They can't hear your thoughts.
They can't see you're at war with yourself.

"You're too good."
"You'd never do wrong."
"You're so innocent."

They can't see you're dying.
They can't hearing your crying.
They can't hear you screaming for help.

Innocent girl,
when will you tell the world,
about the pain you feel.

They don't believe you could hurt,
They don't believe you could bleed,
They are sickened by your "perfection".

"You've never been depressed."
"You're mind is so clear."
"You've never known struggle."

Innocent girl,
when will you show the world,
the scars you have from losing your mind.

When you google 'What is family'
You get the following description:
"a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household."

But is it really?
Can you really be family if you never talk,
even when living under the same roof?

Can you really not be family,
when you talk 24/7 and help each other with everything,
but you're not living under the same roof,
so you're really not family.

I wish I could see myself through your eyes
and convince myself I'm beautiful

I write,
not because I want to,
but because I need to.

I write,
because after I'm gone,
everyone will see who I truly was.

I write,
because I can get everything down on paper,
but it hard for me to explain it verbally.

I write,
because it's the only thing I'm good at.

I write,
because I need to get it out,
and you're not here to listen.

i write,
my reasons being selfish

i write,
just for me

i write,
as an outlet

i write,
for reasons that may not be so selfish after all

You led her on,
Made her believe that you loved her,
Made her believe you cared,
Made her trust you and open that door she had closed so tight.
She let you in,
And you let her down.
She fell for you hard,
You said you would catch her,
So why did she hit the ground?
She believed in you,
When no one else had,
And this is how you repay her?
This is so sad...
You led her here,
With words of love
And acts of romance,
Just to leave her there,
Her heart torn in two,
To fend for herself,
And find someone new.

They say
Life is a gift
That you should cherish it
Because you only get one life
One chance
Life will give you gifts
Like a family
Friends
God
Day
Night
Air
Love
Happiness
But not all gifts are good
Life will throw curves at you
Like school
Money
Fights
Rain
Divorces
Heartbreaks
Broken promises
Deaths
Responsibilities
Anger
Sadness
With each person
Is a life
With different thoughts
Different beliefs
Different families
Different feelings
A different way to view things
Like challenges
Love
And life
Some might love life
They see the good in life
They see it as a gift
They love others
They love the journey
They smile
They laugh
Their sweet
Their kind
These people are on a boat
Floating
Floating ahead to see where they will go
But where they are now
They celebrate
That’s how to view their life
Then you have the others
They see life as a curse
They see the bad in life
They don’t talk to others
They hate the journey
They cry
They scream
They’re shy
They’re broken
These people are in the water
Drowning
Drowning in their sadness
The water in their tears
No matter how hard they try to swim up for air
A wave of their guilt
Brings them back down
But isn't that just life?

it’s been awhile  since i’ve felt

felt anything

felt anything strong enough to write

but here i am, wanting to restart

restart my life

restart my feelings

it’s been while,

hopefully it will be no more

Love will remember
everything...
.
From start to finish,
beginning to end
.