Some people are like light.
Even when at war
Within or with life

At peace and chaos
They are a path
Illuminating bright

You good?

-

The truth is
Its always been milk and honey

The truth is
It's always been too sweet
So delicately layered

The truth is
The rage, these storms
Are destined to fade.
A blur in past.


The truth is
The roaring oceans
Never heard back
And will never hear back


The truth is
Their depths
Begged direction
Something honest
Something heartfelt


The truth is
It's all still just as is
The truth is
It's all still just as was
The truth is
It's all still just as will be


But the tragedy,
Ain't none too thirsty.

Teach me.

I wish existing was simpler.
I wish loving was raw.
I wish talking was easy.
I wish respect wasn't a thing to ask for.
I wish acceptance had a place.
I wish understanding wasn't a weakness.
I wish there was room for trying.
I wish there was more freedom to living
Than there is to dying
I wish there weren't any of these rules
I wish it was okay to not be okay.
I wish all of this was more than just words.
I wish the words were actually us.
I wish I could write to you.
I wish I could speak my heart to you.
I wish you were here.
I wish
I wish I could have more of you.
I wish I could love you.

Miss you sunshine.

To comply.







Trust me, I tried.

But i just cant help myself

I found you once,
I'll find you again.

Was an easy day
Work all the way
And now that i stop to breathe
I set off the timer
The timer that ticks back to you.

There's this color you loved
From the very beginning
A color you cherished
A color you hated
A color that made you put your brush down
A color that made you want to paint again
A color that was the whole of your painting
A color that had a place for me but only in it's shadow.
In it's domain.

A way across.
A way around.

Three, four, five
How many times?
Darling, you aren't perfect
You are something
Beyond the line
Morphed in so
By time
Strengthened by so,
Your own rhymes.

treat you more
be me less
i follow the heart
only to regret

-

Oh, i love you.




More than I can say.

Been around
Been through
Knocking a door
And then another
Relying on humanity
Asking for a hand or two
Only to be disappointed
To be turned down by what rules you
Your ever so sensitive and frail guard
Your disease - overthinking
Or must i say, insanity?

Befriended the black.
But then, you came in.
Now, we're strangers again.

Drowning in the dark
Chained by your doubts
Suffocating in this mess
I want to see
I want to breathe
At least once before
My time runs out.

Nothing's fair.

over and board
didnt and see
not and yet
doomed and fret
new and tomorrow

intruding disdain

steal for the rise
quiet sunsets

I hope you're well.
I hope you're okay.

I don't know
What is it that will comfort you
Lies or truth
Joy or hurt.

What is it that'll keep you afloat
What is it that'll continue to feed
The void you've surrendered to
The void you're so addicted to

What is it that i can do
To ease this out
To help you through?

Sleep to dream
Dream to ****
On days like these
I wonder
If I'm choking on medicine
Or if poison's supposed to taste this sweet?

You are mine.

Try and try and try
Try for as long as you can
For as long as you can take

But.

Knowing you'll get there
Knowing you'll have it

If your insides are screaming you know it
You really really do
Even if it doesnt make sense
Darling, you do

Trust.
Dive.
Achieve.


And.


Let go.
Release.

Pages between
A blank that drowns
Hours to count
Someone at distance
Someone who knows
Someone unaware of the blanks that surround
Of the blanks i count

Too little,
Will **** it,
Too much,
Will spill it,
Why am I worrying though
You're just fine with
Or without it.


Indifferent.
At ease, perhaps.
And I'm glad for you,
It's for your best.

I've been trying to pretend
Been trying to occupy each second
Been trying to forget
Been trying to believe
Nothing happened
And i could erase it all
And go back to being on-repeat

I've been trying to **** the little life that came back
I've been trying to reverse this
Take myself to
Just breathe this through
Until its the end

I've been trying to put hope
Love
Care
Misery
Life in itself
And you, my darling
All back to bed
Gone, forgotten
All to what they've been
All to what they currently are
All to what you'll ever give me

But I cant
All's anew
I keep running back into the sound of you,
The memory of you,
The idea of you.

Why'd you have to do this.
Any of this, at all.
Why'd you have to have me put up with this?
Pain, for no reason at all?

Where are you?
Could you explain?

At liberty?
May be even at peace?
Because you're very well aware
Of the kind of a memory,
That you are?

hell and back
and its burning
burning for more.

i miss you.

Favorites make you mean
Even
If you do not want to be.

Moments when you feel the weight
Moments when you feel fate.
Moments when you know this isnt right
Moments when you're the only sense
Making my world bright.

I woke up today
Breathless
Checking off yet again
Another day
With you
Running away.

I wish i was different.

So, I don’t keep tracks
Not today, not tomorrow
The sun rises around
And sets all the same
But I don’t keep a track
Not tomorrow, no more
I see it come to me
I see it drain out of me
I don’t know what is this way
But it is to somewhere
For at least
I know what not to do
Where not to go
I know where not to drown
What not to show
I know what not to hold
I don’t keep tracks no more

Wait, how long could you take?
Wait, will you be kind?
Wait, will you be sweet?
Wait, will you be mine?
Tonight, tomorrow, perhaps forever?
Wait, my wait.
You're true, aren't you
So calm, so comfortable
My wait, my sweetest wait
I'm falling in love with you
All over again.