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Beth Nov 2018
it’s so funny to think of you
existing before me
i’m sure i was born on the day we met
i surely did not exist before
did not breathe
did not love

on those photos is a stranger
because you are all i have made you
my face will forever be imprinted on yours
my laugh echoing in the under tones of your voice
my cry released through your tears

when i leave this world
the only place i will exist is within you
please look after me
please don’t shut me in
through you i am forever free

i love you endlessly for that. i love you endlessly anyway.
how on earth can one person unlock every emotion you have ever possessed, ever felt?
you make me feel so utterly sad yet so utterly euphoric, all at the same time.

how beautifully confusing.
Beth Oct 2018
In many ways
Being alone would be easier
I know
That at one point
In my life
I will cause great pain
Inexplicable pain
To the people I love.

And it isn't fair.
I didn't ask for that.
I didn't ask to be a burden.
I didn't ask to make you worry.
I didn't ask to worry about your life beyond me.

This isn't what I wanted.
To impact you in any way.

I wanted to be alone.
But you wouldn't let me.
The world wouldn't let me.
And that's what's so unfair.

A person on their own means absolutely nothing.
You have given me meaning, and it was cruel to do so.
Beth Oct 2018
There are some things in life that are too painful to put into words
So you lock them away
Store them up inside yourself
Until they fester
And rot
And you know, all along, that ultimately

They will be the end of you
Beth Oct 2018
***
I hate it when you have that pained look in your eyes

Like there's something irreparably broken

Within you

A crack that can't be fixed
Or glued back together

I hate it when you reminisce
You wallow in nostalgia

And I can hear the hurt in your voice
As it wobbles along the memories
Edging around a gap that can never be filled

I want to fill it!
I want to fix it and make you feel better.

Take all of your pieces and glue them into one

One whole part.

My perfect angel.

You saved me, and I want to do the same for you.

Maybe we'll have to be at ease with being broken.
Beth Oct 2018
We really
are braver than anyone
Because we know what's to come
But we hold onto each other anyway
We're stronger one another together
Than we are apart

Despite the impending darkness
Despite tragedy
And loss
I love you so much for that
I love you
And your blind belief that we will always be happy
Beth Oct 2018
I wish I’d met you years ago
I wish I hadn’t wasted time
I wish I’d always had you close
I wish that you’d be forever mine

I wish a million different things
But none of them will ever be true
I wish that there was something else
That I could do.

I wish that I could spend a lifetime
A real, entire lifetime
With you.
Beth Oct 2018
You
I don't know that I'll ever do better than this
I don't know that I'd ever want to

Intertwined with you
All tangled up
On a Saturday morning

Knowing that you're the closest thing I have to myself
And that my life only has meaning
Or at least any positive meaning
Because you are in it

I'll never stop feeling this way

We don't believe in fate
Or souls
Or soul mates
But if all that were true
If I had one

It would be you
Every
single
time
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