Me against myself against I, a perpetual tie, not alright
Never try this darkness, it's destined to conquer light
It's the fault of the people close to me that my everything's bottled up air tight
Try as I might
Still pushed aside, out of sight

Me against myself against I, but who is right?
Do what I gotta do and what I gotta do is wake from this nightmare of a plight
No time to address it, either die in the ring or forfeit the fight
Despise the spotlight
Despite what you might think, I embrace the night

©2023

Security guard
sleeping on duty…

I wonder if an eye for an eye means you'll never worry about a sty
You try and you try to comply but still see yourself go from zero to bad guy
{Never clarify a why}
You know as well as I, if possible at all they will always present the lie
And who needs to justify why it is what it is when what it is something we'll never get to try

Please stand by...

No one will be with you shortly, this journey is set up to be very lonely
It's just you and you buddy, Superman's strictly literary and there's no name at all on the bologna
{Look closely}
Monopoly's a better show of character then any therapy, decide for yourself if that's comedy or tragedy
Money is invested in more cautiously than time and family

Is there any calm to this calamity?

There's no depth to our shallowness, told it helps move along the progress
The process? Well, that's a little harder to digest, we digress with every test
{Failures are countless}
Direct protest to this nonsense that's pressed into every crevice
Some kind of life sentence, a guilty plea agreed upon with no victim or eye witness

What even is this?

Escape one bad dream only to find yourself awake in a worst nightmare
Nothing in here fights fair, I'm not aware of any rules posted anywhere
{I can feel the crosshair}
I don't want to be any part of this twisted love affair between god and Lucifer
Figure it out, don't ******* up there, I'll purch on YOUR shoulder, whisper crazy into your ear

Let's see who fears who here...

©2023

I always forget to remember lessons from the last failure, therefore I'm forever havin' to start all over, my own personal torcher chamber
It creates this culture of fear that I can't get over, the chip on my shoulder staked on the bolder that's already there
A taunting whisper on loop saying it'll never get better, cursed with bad days, one after another
Try to fudge the numbers, facts don't lie but memories blur, every passing day recollection gets harder
I had this thought in the shower, your heart beat is just a countdown to your last breath and death is just a new beginning to forever
Should I still follow my dreams if it's a recurring nightmare? Only the loser says the other didn't fight fare
Only the winner gets their name in the paper unless it's a smear campaign so staying out of the conversation is safer
Where's the line between assassination and ******? And what's the difference between an unwanted guest and intruder?
Does a lamb know about the slaughter? Does the hand know it can take a life without being given an order?
Which is shorter I wonder, the path to greatness or to a personality disorder, my dark passengers a backseat driver
So it's all in how you frame the picture, have a nice day sounds less threatening than enjoy your next 24
Who decides what will occur? How much more can I endure? Roll the dice and hope they don't shatter
Matter of fact I pray for just enough to make it to the next day not knowing there's no listener
God ain't there and if he is he doesn't care or doesn't know the answer either
Either that or he to has given up on this fallen soldier all together, abandoned by my supposed creator
I don't make an hourly wage, I sell chunks of my life for pennies on the dollar
Some one, somewhere is listening to the last song they'll ever hear
Could be me, right now, right here, no way to tell till after then it's to late to alter
Masking anxiety with witty banter, no alter ego just another dark passenger, this time he's riding shotgun like one in the chamber
One personality is hard enough to keep front and center, take one down but there's always another, I am just fodder
The split is wether to move forward or quit all together, don't know which is better
Tried divide and conquer, another failure, tried to find a new harbour but couldn't pull the anchor

Got control of my anger just to immediately lose the battle, instantly falling outta the saddle
I thought I wasn't supposed to get more than I could handle, I guess that's just another cryptic riddle
Starting to feel old testament biblical, the punishment for mistakes are astronomical no matter how miniscule
Almost feels personal, maybe I'm part of some sadistic ritual, forced to be a part of it, no consent, held against my will
Little did I know I could walk away and be okay still, no one told me the rules making every move futile
Trying a different approach, going vocal, begging for mercy in vain but hopeful
An ineffectual campaign, the struggle was always inevitable, my thoughts not believable
Not even a credible witness to my own life, how is this even possible?
Well, cranial damage is plausible due to hitting every obstacle head on, brain almost falling out of my skull
Life is the train light at the end of the tunnel while I'm mid tunnel on a stationary bicycle
Rock bottom was the pinnacle of my life, cynical doesn't even begin to describe what drives my mental
Keep it all in to avoid the hospital, trapped lightning in a bottle but couldn't get a grip on its broke handle
Already sold my soul, not to the devil but to the people and the return on my investment was far from equal
The colossal difference was they got the best of me and I was left an empty shell
Tried to fill it but it now looks like a landfill, a trash receptacle, the overflow of garbage unavoidable
Completely full of hurt and pain, I pray there's no sequel but I just saw the preview commercial so I guess it's ******* official
But even before dress rehearsal I took myself out of the circle knowing it wouldn't be merciful, devouring me whole
Besides, the demon inside stole the show and convinced me I was evil and deserve to not go any further than my current window
I accepted it cause it's all I know, brittle and fragile, will I made it to another day? Doubtful, the outcome predictable
If written out the how come would be longer than the bible so just take my word for it so you're not liable
Life itself is my rival, and now spiteful has replaced delightful and forced the downward spiral
The life or death questions I scream at the sky come nightfall are being treated as rhetorical
And there's no capable Oracle these days so I'm on my own to wrestle this powerful, never ending dose of trouble
Stepped out of my comfortable bubble once before and it was brutal
Promised myself never again but it's not that simple, every attempt pitiful

Wish me luck

©2022

G 💥 💥 D Monday mourn hey 👋
U knw who U R... 🤗💫😘
Even at night, tomorrow's poetry shines upon me.

however we aren't that far apart.....
I always missing you a lot !
As a matter of light , as I flashback , Aura of yours were so intact,

u were just a poem with a blind 🦯 rhyme
bringing out the mimic mime out of the inner me
a six to one 🕐 counts obviously is a countdown synergy
ages of sixty one taunts edges from downtown👇 energy

last year I am your forty-five years old sweet lover
until this very moment of our lifetime together
still you and you and only you treated me like a star ⭐✨
not in the night 🌉 and in day time neither

for you might really get of what you wish for !
when my eyes feels your gorgeous looks
as I close it during the longings of my 💘 loving heart ! 💖
**** I'm a little big Aladin scrubbing 🪄🪄 magical lamp 🛋️🪔

It may took a couple town drive away distances everytime I hook for a book just to reached the precious lap between us,

no matter where I make a sight focus of those sparkling scatter bouncing back from my visor...
I'm not bother by a destructible hearsay about that little detour.

Because there's no new into a head-turning sound of a hard-fall hitting bang made by the shattered glass...

Faster than the four o'clock
I'd rather be came like that...
Colder than unloaded glock
I never be able to put a dot !

maybe or Someday Soon
you'll fly me to the moon
Afterwards, we will Cherish our Silhouette
Ain't before paint barnish hour with a seal of wet

not 🚫 that bad
spot and 🛑 stop
I'mma 🦜 talk ****
s o  W h a t

(" solEmn
     oaSis
            wants
             her
                           affection
                                            termlessly ")

Only God can help you now and and I don't see him here, do you?
I asked you a question motha plucker!! DO! YOU! SEE HIM?! He's certainly nowhere in my view
What's he gonna do, bust in her on some kind of divine rescue?
Kick the door off the hinges and run through, swoop you up and save you?
As a grown asss man how does that idea not perplex you?
If he exists he's forgotten all about you, he's forsaken all but a few
And the slough of sins you've happened to accrue became an issue
He's turned a deaf ear to every sincere word you've ever cried into that pew
Oh but you've never been alone, the devils there for us all
To answer the desperate call for help when our life's in a free fall
When we pledge to give anything for that one thing we believe to be a cure-all
Turn to an inadamint object for a sec for a possible answer to it all
"Oh magic eight ball...is there even any hope for me at all?"
"Not a chance" reads on the small dice, that's when you offer up your small life
Hand over your soul and heart packaged nice in a Ziploc bag full of ice
And at that percice moment he hands over your dreams but at a price
As eventually the good days splice off giving way, showing your sacrifice
A new nightmare trasnforms from your paradise, what once was used to entice
Turns to a vice that's twice as powerful when used as an evil device
And of course, by then, it's far to late to stop this from happenin'
The Lord's furry captured by a heathen stolen through the Golden gate, taken from heaven
Good heavens, where's Chris Evens? We need the captain
But a heros shield held by a broken zero is a domed zeppelin
Soooooo...I win, dark beats light again
I've racked up so many that we should change that old time sayin'
The one about how light always trumps dark cause I leave no question
Leave no doubt in anybody's mind that good doesn't always come out the champion
If you've ever watched any wrestlin' you've seen that the heel or the villian
Gets his hand raised often, over and over again and god willin'
I'll can keep continuin' this stylin', profilin', limousine ridin', jet flyin', kiss-stealin', wheelin' n' dealin' with a little added blood spillin' till my will 'n passion come unfastened or to an abrupt end
That's your only hope so I hope it doesn't ever happen

©2023

Under the shelter of a desolate sky
The few stars I see
Take the light from my eyes