I sit there.
Looking at rich, pure nature.
Water peacefully flowing down the river,
Trees swaying,
Leaves falling,
Birds singing.
I see the beauty amongst us,
And yet I still feel like this.
So as my feet dangle,
I feel a sense of guilt,
A feeling that I should have done more.
I watch my feet appear and disappear,
While my brain is cramped with these thoughts
That wouldn’t just go away.
I feel as though I’m suffocating.
As if a giant pillow is crashing down on me
Or that I’m stuck under water,
And can’t swim up for a breath.
This kind of feeling doesn’t go away.
Even if I’m smiling.
Even if I’m laughing.
It’s still there,
Slowly creeping up to me
With its hands around my neck
It keeps pushing,
And pushing,
And pushing,
Until my lungs can’t grasp for air,
Until my face goes numb,
Until my arms drop by my side.
I feel it right now.
Those hands.
They’re pushing me,
Swaying me back and forth
As I get closer and closer to the edge.
 
What if I do fall?
Will there be anyone to catch me?
or would I just make a thud?
and nobody will ever know.
All I know is,
If I do fall,
Then that feeling is gone.
I would never have to feel those hands again.
I would never have to suffocate.
So,
What will it be?
Ending that feeling?
Or
Feeling like this forever?