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Feb 2021 · 158
Our Ghosts
Zoe G Feb 2021
A new Saturday slaps me in the face as my body suddenly becomes conscious. My brother's obnoxious alarm sounds through the hallway. Turn that off already, June. I recite the words of my mother, Kat, inside my head. Then, I hear her voice from the bedroom down the hall, "June, honey, can't you turn that off?!" See, I told you it was coming. My mother is trying to get more sleep since she switched from the day to night shift, and since my brother has his alarm on repeat till he wakes up- which won't be for another 20 minutes, I'm the one who has to shut it off. Yawning, I gingerly swing my legs over the edge of my bed, still sore from helping my brother chase the dogs he walks. That's a story for another time.

I make the routine trip to his room, and open the door. There lies Kam, his legs too long for his bed, his room too clean for my liking. I reach over his peaceful body and the click click of the off button echos. Just as I turn the door ****, a fleck of white outside gravitates my eyes toward the window. What? It can't be. They're sleeping! Ghost-like figures of my brother and mother are walking away from the house hand in hand. I rub my eyes and they're still there. How?

Somehow, seeing them without me makes my heart drop. Memories of birthdays come to mind, Kat always made those days so special. All the bright decorations and gifts. The sweet smiles and strawberry cake. She always puts so much hard work into whatever she does. Then I remembered the look of relief on Kam's face when I caught one of the dogs who braved the electric fence. Kindel didn't have to bring me along on his job and split his income with me. But he did anyway.  

I looked out the window again to see that the fake versions of my family were still walking- without me. Desperately, more desperately than ever before, I wanted to be with them. To walk with them, and hold their hands. I keep staring, watching, waiting for them to walk my way. But, instead, they disappear- without me.

My hands instantly cover the newly discovered pools in my eyes. I can't help it. I've never cried before, but my body suddenly releases all the tension it's ever held.
A gentle hand suddenly touches my shoulder, "Hey! Hey! J! What's with the tear- '' Instantly, I turn around and hug Kam tight. So tight that he coughs. "Aw Jbird! cough I love you." My face buried into his broad shoulders, I can feel myself softly smiling in relief.
Mar 2020 · 115
Maybe today Maybe
Zoe G Mar 2020
Maybe I'll wake up feeling better
Maybe my pain will go away
Tomorrow morning
Maybe I'll wake up with a
smile
on my face
Maybe I'll be okay
When the moon leaves
Maybe the tears will dry
When the light breaks
Maybe my thoughts will drift away

This weight on my back
This cut in my heart
This hole in my brain
This scar on my hand
These bags under my eyes
This hurt in my body
Might go away
If tomorrow morning comes
Today
Mar 2020 · 117
story
Zoe G Mar 2020
They explain what I went through
Said it had purpose, meaning
Said that I'm better off
A lesson learned is knowledge gained
Is what they say
But how do you describe my pain
From day to day
Still lingering
Forever the same
No matter what I do
To try and escape
It's always a part of my
Heart
So now what can you say?
Mar 2020 · 127
dead men dance
Zoe G Mar 2020
Dead men dance
With freedom in their hands
Gone is the world
Gone are their plans
They have nothing
Yet nothing is okay
Embracing the beauty within the mundane
Wishing
Wishing
They were alive
Jan 2020 · 125
Falling
Zoe G Jan 2020
Tell me
how do I fall out of love?
I know its not common,
with everyone floating into
love
but I want to leave
this land
of love
So teach me
to stop loving
to stop holding
to stop waiting
for truth

I'm done with love
I'm done with you
Dec 2019 · 171
Known
Zoe G Dec 2019
Seen by everybody
known by no one
Oct 2019 · 119
Chase
Zoe G Oct 2019
and so we run
chasing
with arms
reaching
pulling
flailing
grabbing
pushing
stretching
blind to what's
already
in front of us

whatever you feel first
(they say)
grab it
keep it
hold it
cherish it
don't let it go
don't let anyone take it

and so we run
and fight
and beat
and curse
and torture
and scream
to claim what we believe is
ours

who is they exactly?
we will never know
but we decided to listen to them
and so we run
and so we run
will we stop?
and so we run
and so we run
will you stop?
and so we run
and so we run
will I stop?
and so we run
and so we run
but eventually we get tired
no one knows it yet, but we will get tired
and what happens after that?
-we run-
Oct 2019 · 504
wish
Zoe G Oct 2019
it feels nice to

think

that you love me
Oct 2019 · 127
Experience
Zoe G Oct 2019
Once you
experience
something
it becomes
easier, harder
to talk about
harder, easier
to think about
Oct 2019 · 190
Questioning
Zoe G Oct 2019
Want a piece of the magic?

Find peace
in the
madness
Sep 2019 · 107
Myself
Zoe G Sep 2019
Cards spread out on the table
Drinks spilled on the floor
Look through the glass-
you can't see my reflection
anymore

Food untouched on plates
streamers all over the place
Popped balloons on the floor
What was this party even for?

All the doors opened
a cold breeze comes in
who knew a party
in the night
could bring
the darkness in

A crowd of people
turn to emptiness now
What happened to the music?
Why has it quieted down?

I'm the only one at this party
had some bad news
about you and her
so I told everybody
and it ruined the mood
they're all mad at me
and left
cause I brought you two
together
so I'm the only
now
and its no fun
when you can't talk to anyone
but yourself.

I'm the only one at this party
And its not fun
cause I can't talk to anybody
but myself
but me
even you and her
left
for better company
Sep 2019 · 171
Your happiness
Zoe G Sep 2019
Whatever you choose to do
I'd be happy for you
I'll be happy for you
Sep 2019 · 251
Maybe
Zoe G Sep 2019
I'd like to sing for you
a song I wrote for you
and then we can sing together
maybe
someday
Sep 2019 · 108
watching the fire
Zoe G Sep 2019
And so I'll love you from a distance
and give your space
--like a fire that burns so beautifully
but makes you want to step away--
as obsession is something
I cannot chase
since I know nothing about
you
Sep 2019 · 97
Clarity
Zoe G Sep 2019
Clarity
Clarity
I know you hold
the clarity
when I can't see
guide me
because in the darkness
I lose everything
and the light is too blinding

lead me
because
You
and only
You-
forever,
You hold the clarity
God sees & knows all, He is our source of sight :))
Sep 2019 · 192
New
Zoe G Sep 2019
New
This is my breakthrough
This is my breakthrough
I will give my
love and trust
to
You

This is my breakthrough
This is my breakthrough
To know you hold my soul
and make me
new
My worship to God :))
Aug 2019 · 114
My mind
Zoe G Aug 2019
You're in my mind
like all the time
but more than often-
today

walking through the halls
like you were with me
but you weren't

talking with excitement
like you were with me
but you weren't

text-6:08 pm
just wanted to let you know that you were in my
head
all
day
                                                                ­                     text-6:10
                                                       ­                                          <3 I miss u
Aug 2019 · 251
us
Zoe G Aug 2019
us
we will be
alright
Aug 2019 · 98
gone
Zoe G Aug 2019
paper thin
paper white
losing vision
losing sight

fade to darkness
fade away
fail to see the light of day

gone
Aug 2019 · 110
person
Zoe G Aug 2019
i love your voice
i love your heart
and your love for God
your eyes
your hair
your confidence
the way you care
how you stroke your hair
your dedication
the little things that make you frustrated
your smile
your laugh
how you reassure
and encourage me
how you get excited
and the way you look back
at me
Aug 2019 · 76
I'd like to..
Zoe G Aug 2019
I'd like to meet you again
but this time as your girlfriend
this time as your girlfriend
I've already met your parents-
the kindest people
and I'd like to meet them again
but this time as your girlfriend
this time as your girlfriend
I'd like to do this all over
begin at the end
but this time as your girlfriend
your girlfriend
yours
idk where this came from
Aug 2019 · 112
Knowing
Zoe G Aug 2019
To know that
today
is
all
set
or
taken
care
of
better yet
brings
peace to my soul

knowing

that i don't have to
take
control
Aug 2019 · 448
I wrote about that?
Zoe G Aug 2019
I wrote about crying
apparently I did
you told me so
I wonder what I had to say
did I write that it won't make the pain go away
but somehow
it makes you
feel
better?
I wonder....
Aug 2019 · 102
words
Zoe G Aug 2019
Step into this world
I call it diary
its not physical
rather mentally complete
when sorting around
the mess inside
this world of ours
inside our head;
our heart;
our soul
we see our words
and are taken aback
at just that
Aug 2019 · 83
tHoUghTs
Zoe G Aug 2019
You have to ask the question to get the answer
Aug 2019 · 74
More
Zoe G Aug 2019
I don't drive yet:
sitting in the backseat
I put my whole day on repeat
all the worries
little mistakes
embarrassments
choices I made
look out the tinted window
and see the driver
in the car across
staring at me
she smiles
I smile
and then
I remember
and then
I see
that the world
is more
than just
me
Aug 2019 · 85
Really?
Zoe G Aug 2019
I ask myself "really?" sometimes
when i do dumb things that make me want to hide
like when i went over to my friends house
and dropped a crumb on their floor
and didn't pick it up
or when i made the conversation all about me
when in actuality the other person was hurting
or when i got too vulnerable and everyone was confused
or when i slept too late and lost the whole day to a snooze
or maybe when i stared at my friends brother (for a long time)
and now he thinks i'm a creep
when someone drops their books
and I walk away
when i try to give advice
but the person goes astray
I try not to mess up, but I always do
being human is something you just can't remove
thinking about silly stuff I've done
Aug 2019 · 68
Sky
Zoe G Aug 2019
Sky
oh me
oh my
it's falling
down
the clouds
the clouds
are peeling off the sky
blue
and
white
on the ground
people screaming all around
you look up and nothing remains
but nothing is something
so all's the same
like paint
in puddles
on the cars
drip drip drip
down windows
from afar
it seems the world is ending
suddenly
suddenly
the ground disappears...................










and I wake
up
Aug 2019 · 88
Blue
Zoe G Aug 2019
I had a friend
her name was blue
she was sad
and i was too
Aug 2019 · 101
hold me
Zoe G Aug 2019
hold me
hold me
hold me
like there's more you had say
so this doesn't become a fairy tale
someone read yesterday
Aug 2019 · 179
just like that
Zoe G Aug 2019
and suddenly.....
nothing meant
everything
to them
Aug 2019 · 82
mirror
Zoe G Aug 2019
Cloudy and blurry
from the gray-white dust, the must
that I've refused to clean
some say your mirror is your enemy

Round and circular
the old wooden frame
that holds the glass in place
and when I see the reflection of my face
I smile
and I gain confidence

Some say your mirror is your enemy
and I can see their viewpoint
I understand
but on the other hand
a mirror reflects the beauty put in front of it
so I am reminded that I'm created in my Father's image
and I gain confidence

Some say your mirror is your enemy
but my mirror helps me
if my outfit doesn't look the best
my mirror is the first to let me know
and I gain confidence

Some say your mirror is your enemy
but we work out together
I lift these weights
see myself improving
and I gain confidence

Some say your mirror is your enemy
but my mirror is my friend
because its the only one who sees
my confidence
Aug 2019 · 353
dance
Zoe G Aug 2019
spin me around
and let's create
a masterpiece
some may call it abstract
but
we call it
life
Aug 2019 · 86
Wish
Zoe G Aug 2019
Wish I could do something to fix
the room
adjust the lighting
catch the picture that's about to fall
cover the white blotches on the wall
finish painting the chair
add the final touches
tilt the clock slightly
fluff the pillow
face the chairs to each other
align the TV
and make it perfect
but there's no such thing
the room of life
Aug 2019 · 107
one way conversation
Zoe G Aug 2019
-Will you wait for me?

-I'm not ready yet

-Soon

-Don't worry

-I won't forget

-Promise you'll remember?

-Good
Aug 2019 · 82
Together
Zoe G Aug 2019
love is so hard
but that's what makes love seem easy
the difficult moment make love
something you need to fight for
the challenging times give you new insight
carefree times give you reassurance
and peace settles your souls
as you grow
into one
Aug 2019 · 97
12:01 am
Zoe G Aug 2019
Did you really mean it when you said it?
I couldn't decipher it
was that your true personality
or the one you use for show & tell?
I use to believe you
now I'm not so sure
if you are you anymore
because I've seen you with two different faces
walk through two different doors
Aug 2019 · 100
So I don't fall in love
Zoe G Aug 2019
Didn't mean to ignore you
Sorry if I didn't look you in the eye
if I listened to your words
they would become a melody in my heart
and I might fall in love tonight
so I'll keep my distance
I will stay away
use anything to fill your space
so I don't fall in love
Aug 2019 · 115
Bad habits
Zoe G Aug 2019
Say I'll change
but I don't
say I'll change
and I won't
staying the same seems fun
until it isn't
Aug 2019 · 93
Rest
Zoe G Aug 2019
Needing to close my eyes
but if I do
I might lose the moment
To the one who never rests pt. 2 kinda
Zoe G Aug 2019
To keep moving
and never stop
mind forever racing
heart nonstop
beating to a
sprinting pace
no rest
no brakes
no breaks
pauses nonexistent
when breath
is never fully exhaled
My friend can never calm down
I always pray she finds peace
This is for her and for anyone who has anxiety <3
I love u all and I hope u find calm in the chaos
Aug 2019 · 84
Goodbye
Zoe G Aug 2019
So many poems about
love
because it's what we feel
emotions
bottled up
when
something hits our
brain
unexpected pain
that forces us to
express how we feel
because its a big deal
when you feel like a part of
you
is gone
Aug 2019 · 82
Without even realizing
Zoe G Aug 2019
....to slip in
you match
style becomes
what they like
attention is suddenly your friend
it feels good to fit in
until you lose yourself
Aug 2019 · 283
Memories
Zoe G Aug 2019
Please remind me
when we are older
please remind me right now
of you and me
of all of us
together without worries or pain
living in the moment
brought such happiness
and I want to go back
but I can't
so remind me
please
Aug 2019 · 92
Reflection
Zoe G Aug 2019
To relive a moment
even a simple second of time
where you were near
when you were here
because I miss you
you made me happy
and that felt good
Aug 2019 · 74
A blessing in disguise
Zoe G Aug 2019
A blessing in disguise
they always say
and I didn't
believe it
until yesterday
through the pain
I finally see
perfection
in Your mystery
no matter what
I face
you are always with me
and you bless me
abundantly
with all I need
no matter what comes against
and its funny
if there was no pain
I wouldn't be writing this-
Your righteous plan
unfolding before me
shows there is no way to simply
pass by
the battle
because you already have the victory
Jul 2019 · 544
LOL
Zoe G Jul 2019
LOL
I'll write the tea


the tea is all right

Alright?
i just randomly screamed this in my house XD
Jul 2019 · 79
Revival
Zoe G Jul 2019
Rewrite the page
erase the mistakes
and start over
a clean slate
fresh beginnings
clear mind
focused heart
new time
Jul 2019 · 150
Future
Zoe G Jul 2019
hey you :))
I love you
too scared to say it
so I write it
and you may never see it
but in case you do
hey you
I really love you
Jul 2019 · 102
Gratitude
Zoe G Jul 2019
Thanks for:
-letting me talk to you
-letting me in
-always listening and being more than a friend
-being patient, when I get out of control
-sharing silence and comforting my soul
-your guidance

~And please help me to see all the blessings that you give to me. May I learn to listen and hear your voice. May I live a life where I rejoice you~
My prayer to God :)) <3
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