I wrote about crying
apparently I did
you told me so
I wonder what I had to say
did I write that it won't make the pain go away
but somehow
it makes you
feel
better?
I wonder....

Step into this world
I call it diary
its not physical
rather mentally complete
when sorting around
the mess inside
this world of ours
inside our head;
our heart;
our soul
we see our words
and are taken aback
at just that

You have to ask the question to get the answer

I don't drive yet:
sitting in the backseat
I put my whole day on repeat
all the worries
little mistakes
embarrassments
choices I made
look out the tinted window
and see the driver
in the car across
staring at me
she smiles
I smile
and then
I remember
and then
I see
that the world
is more
than just
me

I ask myself "really?" sometimes
when i do dumb things that make me want to hide
like when i went over to my friends house
and dropped a crumb on their floor
and didn't pick it up
or when i made the conversation all about me
when in actuality the other person was hurting
or when i got too vulnerable and everyone was confused
or when i slept too late and lost the whole day to a snooze
or maybe when i stared at my friends brother (for a long time)
and now he thinks i'm a creep
when someone drops their books
and I walk away
when i try to give advice
but the person goes astray
I try not to mess up, but I always do
being human is something you just can't remove

oh me
oh my
it's falling
down
the clouds
the clouds
are peeling off the sky
blue
and
white
on the ground
people screaming all around
you look up and nothing remains
but nothing is something
so all's the same
like paint
in puddles
on the cars
drip drip drip
down windows
from afar
it seems the world is ending
suddenly
suddenly
the ground disappears...................










and I wake
up

I had a friend
her name was blue
she was sad
and i was too