Stars.
Falling like "fire"
Would be cheap.
Stars,
I believe are of
A secret nature.
So old.
So wise.
They'd tell you
All the things
You never wanted
To hear.
You never understood,
But they were your stars.
So you listened.
And then
You fell.
And their words became
Truth.
Your pain
Supernova.
Your pain
Blinding explosive.
Your pain.
Their pain.
And you knew,
Now
Stars were not for
Childish wishes.
Stars were yours.
When some say;
"You have stars in your eyes."
You know.
The story.
The pain.
The wisdom.
Now when they fall,
Race across the sky,
You fall too.

I listen.
Not well.
But I can hear you.

I killed you.
Old, pathetic,  feeble.
You held me back.

I learned to jump.
Be wild, dive in.
Ignoring the warnings
From my memories.

I became better.
Because you were dead.

That person I was.
Me. I had killed me.
The echo of past.
The dull roar of present.

I should have known better.

You can only silence,  
Never ****.

You made me lose
Myself in order to get
Away from you.

Now...

I listen.
Not well.
But I can hear you.

All I can say is that I like your face, and I like it a lot.
And you've got that.
And me.
And I'm here.
For you.
You have me.

Like.
Is when your heart races.
Like a comet across the night sky.
It mirrors the fire of your passion,
And the ice of lonely fear.

Lust.
Is when your thoughts,
Like ***** smoke wind through lungs,
Mirroring your desire to devour.

Adore.
Is when little touches stop you in a thought.
Fingers intertwined,
Mirror the fingers of feelings,
Wrapping slowly around a heart that is scared.

Love.
Is when the blank slate of future,
Like a canvas stretched taut,
Mirrors the ache of your stolen heart.

"You begin to wonder how you've changed."

I'll be honest. It took me by surprise. The words, not the lack of action. I already knew that. I used to be okay with the way you were. I justified it. I 'understood' that you'd had it rough. I made excuses and exceptions  I can't do that for you any more  I won't do that for you.

I've loved you since the day we first talked. I knew then. I still know now. The amount of times I wish I'd never met you, still don't outweigh the tears I've cried. You do this to me. To us.

The amount of times you apologize...I...

You tell me things. No longer do I hear them for what they are. I see them for what you wish they would mean to me. But I can't hear you. I won't.

I have accepted.

I have come to terms.

I know that 'I deserve better!' and 'You're not worth it.' Yet...I still, and stupidly still, think the opposite. I'm oppressed by you. By the thought of you. By the idea of you.

I want out, sometimes. Other times, I never want you to leave.

I know what's wrong with me, and I know what's wrong with you. You don't think I get it. Oh how wrong can one be?

I love you.
I have.
I will.



"And if I have a chance, would you let me know...?"

I never asked you to say you loved me
I never asked for you to tell me
That I'm the one who makes it all better
When you are the one who makes me bitter

I'm so amazing and you mean it
I'm so delightful and you see it

But the one you see
Isn't really me you like

I never asked you to say I'm lovely
I never asked for you to be there
Yet I'm the one who'll make it all better
When you're the one who'll make me so bitter

I'm the perfect one you don't see
I'm the right one you cannot find

And you never see
What you've done to me, and us

You've never heard me say I loved you
And though it breaks me every day
You are the one who makes my life better
And I will risk my heart to be bitter


I'll never know if you mean what you say
And I don't know if I want to