follow me,
down.


follow me quietly,
into the sun.


follow me desperately,
my child of darkened love.

It got warm outside at night
and the feeling of rushing air feels so right.
No matter what you say you know it's true.
You can move on if you choose to.
I know how it feels to stand there in your shoes.
I've stood there before, stood there with you.
And I know that it is hard to let go of love,
but I'm not really sure that's what this was.
Because days spent in bed,
fingers running through your hair,
the words in whispers of lust,
missing school and not giving you up,
and nights spent in agony.
The yelling and the screaming.
No, I'm not sure this was love.
Let me down softly,
why don't you?
Take me high,
and drop me like rain.
My heart is with you for so many reasons,
and you never came.
Tell me now what it is you want.
Tell me, now, why you care.
Tell me how,
how you can think of me
when all you ever wanted was her!
Because days spent in bed,
fingers running through your hair,
the words in whispers of lust,
missing school and not giving you up,
and nights spent in agony.
The yelling and the screaming.
No, I'm not sure this was love.
No, I'm not sure this is love.

You're at my back door,
begging to come in.
To sit down and talk.
I want to open up,
I really truly do,
but I can't.
This has to stop.
This was never love.
Though I thought it was.
And you saying such sweet things now doesn't make what happened any better!
Love is fallen
into the deep dark pits.
Never go after it.
This is what happens.
This is love.
This really is.
Love is a shard of glass
begging to pierce your skin.

It's 3 a.m.
I'm feeling cold.
It's dark outside.
I'm getting too old for this.
Then again, are you ever too grown for abandonment?
Being left behind in the darkness of night.
Being left alone with nowhere to call home.
And when you're on your own it become so clear that no one cares.
No one matters but you.

It's 4 a.m. and I know where you are.
It's 4 a.m. and you're in this room.
You're in my bed and in my head.
And I know what this feeling of guilt is.
I let you down onto broken glass.
I let you down and the wall fell so fast.
Now you won't speak to me.
Now you won't talk.

It's 5 a.m. and it's time to wake up.
You're eyes wander but don't touch.
I know what you are thinking right now, 'cause I'm saying it out loud.
It's time to go.
We're getting too old.
And you and I both know this won't work.
Though it hurts like hell we can't keep pretending.
Our love left so long ago.
It's time to part ways now.

So, it's ten years later.
There you are.
You said you never wanted children and that left its scar.
There you stand, a little girl holding your hand and a woman smiling at you both.
She's beautiful.
You're beautiful.
To be honest, I never let you go.
It's 6 p.m. in the garden in the square.
I'm crying my pain and you can't see it.
I know you don't see me as you kiss your bride.
And by the time I get over this abandonment I think I'll have died.

It's nearing midnight.
I want to die.

Say what's on your mind.
Say what's in your head.
Tell me what's wrong and tell me what's there.
I know you're broken.
I know that you're hurt.
I know she's still there.
She's in your head and in your heart.
Doesn't mean that love will tear us apart.
Claryss in the room.
Claryss in your thoughts.
No matter what you say this is breaking you apart.
And I...
I want you to know that everything is okay with me.
I know that you don't find comfort in that.
It's okay.
It's okay.
Claryss in the room.
Claryss in your thoughts.
And I can feel her breaking my heart.
She tore you to pieces and left you for dead.
And now I know, though I don't know her, she's in my head.

One step to the solemn light
and one foot in that beam of falling darkness
is all that is needed for one more heart to heal
and no one needs to know that he feels
and no one needs to know that she feels him
No one needs to feel the light on their skin at noon
or the beam of the moon at midnight.
Because pain is just as in the mind as happiness.
But 'tween two pain is real and happiness is lost in the battle.
And between the two happiness looses to sadness.
Pain is the fate of the light and the fault of the darkness dwelling.
That which dwells in my soul.
That which dwells in yours.
A divine darkness.
A feared light.
And the light and dark become equals.
In the end, no one wins.
In the end, we all find pain.
So here is- *pain

Once Upon A Time there was a little girl
and once upon a time I was a little girl.
Running 'round to the sound of the breaking glass
as the champagne spilt on the floor.
And I danced to the sound of a lost girl
who was raising a child on her own.
And I ran with the sound of a half grown boy
that was raising a child all alone.
Help was offered for a price
but they didn't have the payments.
And no one knew that that little girl paid a price of her own~

I lost my way a long time ago
I lost my heart when you went home
I found myself in your arms and in your skin.
Don't ask me how to fight
I don't know.
Don't ask me how to cry,
Becasue I don't remember now.
I am numb and broken
So far past bent
So far past heartache and unpaid rent.
Once upon a time happens a lot
But the happily ever after seems to not.
And no matter what you say my heart still breaks.
So go...
Before my heart turns to ash in front of you.