I tie my own ropes around my hands
tight, sadness cutting into my wrists
and tired eyes wanting rest
But I have nothing to be tired for
I have nothing to complain about
These binds are self-inflicted
by loneliness surrounded by crowds
My feet are tired and my eyes drooping
but today I feel like there is something
to the world

When I’m not scared,
I get brave
But I haven’t felt that part of me
In so long but I want it
I want it more than seeing the ocean one more time
I want salt water in my eyes
Blurring my vision but making
me see clearer into myself
I want to feel so much more like
how I feel when pen’s scratching paper

The presence of you in my head
the ghost of what I could have had
He’s not like you and I can’t stand it
He’s angry at me for ******* up everything
His voice rips through my anxious thoughts
like the invisible blade cutting through my heart
And I just want to tell you that it’s not a clean cut
It’s messy and hurts like hell, but I blame myself

This world, this world is

tearing at my insides

making marks like burnt paper

on the beating muscle of my chest

Sparks are flying upward
Love is dying, my love is dying
How heavy is this, this knowing
Our love like it is was never meant
To hold us together for longer than
We had to completely fall apart,
For longer than was necessary
To completely drain me

She broke his heart but she’s crying too
For the love that was never meant
To hold them together, to live longer than it did

But I did love you with all I had, I do love you
I love you as much as I know how with the pain in me
You loved me with every ounce of your being
That's what broke us, you couldn't leave me be

The world is burning, the muscle in my chest aches
A dull pain, just reminding me of what is lost in you
Only reminding me of what I miss in you
Not what I could stand to lose

Laughing, joking, kissing, loving, learning
All I recollect is the beautiful haze of moments
I've forgotten all the fights, my submissions
Your previous demands have slipped my mind

****, I don't want to remember the bad
I could have you in my arms right now if I wished
I could almost feel the beautiful explosions
Emotions bursting because of soft touches of lips and hands

I think that time would have stopped for us
If it could forever
I think that the sun would have shined
If it could forever
Or the moon would have slowly glowed
If it could forever

All of them sweetly watching
light smiles across all their faces
Books, thinking, writing
All paused, just for now to let us enjoy life
With each other

No planes, cars or distance
No maps or far off places or missing you
Just sand caught in between skin
Just hidden love caught between words