Everything fell in a matter of two seconds
From normalcy to chaos
a flash flood during a calm summer day
and I'm not holding on too tight to reality

She's living in a cloud and everything's really loud
She's living in a fog and everything doesn't matter
Can't feel the warm happiness of laughing
but she can fake it with curved lips

Why is it that the world's falling and no one sees?
Someone's lost in their own consciousness
Fighting to get back to this mixed up place
Because it's more vibrant than the silence in her head

And I’m thinking about forever
In a philosophy class filled to the brim
And we are talking about what makes something what it is
And all I can think about is what makes me love his soul

What is existence?
Are we souls having bodies?
Or are we bodies having souls?
I never could figure that one out
But I never could think about
All these intricacies without thinking of you

I want to make myself feel
The things I did when I was young
Like the first time I realized the vast world
And didn’t mind that I felt small

Now everything’s racing so fast
Forced to feel like it takes effort to breathe
Forgetting to just look, to just admire
Unable to breathe in the pretty intricacies

Growing up and out is beautiful in its own
But I’m losing the insight into the small
Pushing to pry open my eyes
Trying to see the flowers, the sea, the stars

I was naïve with my mind’s eye for the world
I threw myself into everything with all of myself
Not knowing how hurt I’d come out
Unaware of how it changed me

Unquestioning, I believed those I trusted
I wanted to feel sought after and they provided it
I took what they said as truth in exchange for love
Later, I realized the love was as conditional as the rules they gave

I felt led on with their fake smiles and avoiding answers
The answers trying to convince to their side
Only led me to question further
Why I gave into their insincere smiles

I’m a little more grown, now closing my eyes, experiencing again
How I felt before, how I changed little details of myself
Remembering how I’ve hurt and learned
I still wish I loved like I did when I was sixteen

I don’t know what I’m waiting for
or what I’m doing.
But there has to be something more.
otherwise we are just losing.

I try and be your friend
but I feel like you’re just
waiting for it to be the end.

As we search on,
I go and pray
and you get your gear on.
But standing in a church
doesnt make me religious
just like standing on sand
can’t make me the ocean

I’m fighting with myself
to believe in Him
like I’m fighting with you
to save a friendship started
on a whim.

And although once in a while,
you swim with me and make me smile.
I’m not because it feels
I am the one fighting, angry at you.

Like the eye from the storm,
you showed me a light.
Like honey to the bees,
you brought me delight.
When i thought I was blind,
you gave me sight.

But then you went away,
before I had the chance to say
Good bye.

And those nights
oh those nights we shared
together,
Those days we had
that we thought would last forever.
Those laughs we had at your expense
because your rants were so light and intense
all at the same time.

But plans changed
and when you rearranged my heart,
you left me to blame
and it would never be the same.
So now where do I start?

I’ve been warned of your dang’rous fickleness,
That one word could be the one fatal flaw.
I find myself waiting, sett’ling for less,
Watching from afar your beauty in awe.
I see you every once in a while
as you pass my way and ev’ry time I wish
that you would softly look at me and smile.
When will you love me? The time feels sluggish.
But, what can I do to make your sweet love
Come to me faster.  I can’t make the days
short just as I can’t move the sky above.
I can only your form quietly praise.
And I will do just that every day
Until to me your attention will pay.

Our love is like the sun-soaked, blue-green sea
Its fervent waves, so beautiful and strong
We sit at the beach, looking out.  We see
The soft waves, and we hear their rhythmic song.
Our love is this beautiful and steadfast.
You and I can go through the worst and still
All our love collected as one, amassed,
Will be as strong as ocean’s high tide thrill.
Yet, it isn’t as changing and dangerous
As the sea during the dark storm and rain.
It’s not the choppy sea tormenting us
Nor the dark, black storm that brings us pain.
Our love is calm water: great, steady, blue
Of a day with sky of a gentle hue.

I wake and see the sun on your small face
And body.  I just watch you as the rays
Tangle up around your body and face.
The beauty strikes me and I’m in a daze.
The daylight seems to want you just as much
As I want you.  Its greedy ways hindered
By the shutters cov’ring its path to touch
Your valleys and hills that have me enraptured.
But, unlike the sun’s or summer’s sweet warmth,
Your beauty and lovely contours won’t fade
Into winter that reminds one of death.
In fact, Your face will make darkness afraid.
I’ll crack the shutters open wide to see
The two things that give the most light to me.