maybe im smart maybe im pretty
but not enough maybe
im successful and skilled but
not enough, to my eyes
as other judges on how others are best im judging
myself of not enough in my own eyes
a person that seems who has the best life is different in their eyes

running trying to get away
but it is always there with me
I try to hide from it
but it's hiding with me
the darkness everywhere I go
is making it darker making me trapped
in a box that feels tight even though
there is so much space like i'm alone
maybe there is something to a light maybe
but the darkness is hiding it

it's coming
the feeling of it's presence
I don't know when, where, or what it is
but it's coming and I need to go
I try to hide but only for it to come closer
I try to ignore it for the feeling to be stronger
then it found me it's no monster or person
but my own shadow is coming back stronger than I remember

a flame on a fire pit
a pit of hope that carries
a flame of happiness
fire stayed brightly alone
until there was a person came
threw sticks in the pit
which grew brighter as the warm intensity
making everything warm with happiness
as the person kept throwing sticks on at the fire pit
the fire pit of hope grew so did the flame burning with passion
until the person left then the flame seemed shorter colder
seemed like it might go off with a single blow hoping for another person
to put some sticks to make it grow but nobody did so it went out
as the embers burns waiting hoping for something

A huge wall it protects from the outside
maybe sometimes it is there to much
but it protects me from danger
even if sometimes voices try to convince me
to open up so they could help me
but it did not work like last time

In a field of flowers
As the comfort of the grass settles your muscle
The sun warming your bones making you close your eyes
The peacefulness of the cool breeze of the air
A place, to breath, to think, to like, to not be judged
Only if it last forever only if I could forget the stress, the pain
Why not right now forget about the house and sleep in peace