i sit in front on my grandfathers shop
where he collects and cuts his butchered meat
i patiently wait in the dusk of sunlight
soaking up the last droplets of summer heat
deep mountain woods grow with the darkness
as the scarlette sky turns to night
and the stars come out; and the crickets cry
i hold a rifle in my hand, but out of sight
my grandfathers cigarette smoke fills the air
cold steel laid softly, as i breath as little as i can
tomorrow i’ll be dreaming of this moment now
without any care, without any plans

tonight, my last night is calm and quaint
the crickets cry to the sound of moonlight
as the clear twilight sky begins to fade away
an hour from now the stars will die
and the world will be painted
in a brilliant array
like a Da Vinci painting
or a Mozart symphony
I cant help but remember the golden days
filled with chaos and fear
they bore beauty and triumph
and recollect as masterpieces
tenfold by every year
but the moment of living is different
it's not something we can understand
we only love the moment
once it has slipped our feeble hands
so this time I must capture it
before I commit to my sudden end
and prevent my last nostalgic moment
from torturing me
ever again

.
what is a soul?
i like to think of a soul
as an ethereal blanket
born white, soft, and pure
like a baby’s blue eyes
but as life goes on we stain
dragged through the filth of the streets
and we blemish from the stresses
that, naturally, come with each day
and we tear, from heartbreak, and loss
but you can be cleansed
and sown together again
by watching the sun rise over the mountains
you can go to church and give yourself to god
but falling in love is my personal favorite
all things that create you, make you new
and in the end, the wears, the tears
the pains and the stains
make you
you

.
there is only one thing I hate about myself
that pale, calloused patch of skin on my temple
where the skin is all but worn away
where I bury my hardest emotions
and hope they never see the light of day

.
repeat after me
i will always be stronger than the pain
i may be knocked down, but I'll live to see another day
because there are others who look up to me
people who love, and care, and live for me
i will go through it all for them
through broken bones and bleeding wounds
i will fight until the end