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 Apr 2013 Zara Sophea
Chloap Soap
I am a man of few words
This I know you know
And of the millions of words there are
My feelings for you I cannot show

Perhaps I could say "radiant"
You are brighter than the sun
Your smile lights even my dull grey self
A quality I have seen from no one

Or maybe you are thrilling
The way you do the things you do
I would never consider taking such risks
But perhaps one day I will with you

But still I feel these words do not fit
And I guess I will sit and wait
I will not say a word unless it is perfect
But I fear that when it comes to me
It may be a moment too late
 Apr 2013 Zara Sophea
Mia
You thought it wouldn't come to this
Wearing your heart upon your sleeve
Going down the winding road
With love before you,
Thoughts behind you.
You're actually surprised?
You should have listened when i said:
It won't last, it never does.
Joke's on you, i was right.
I told you, didn't I?
Why are you crying?
Wasting more tears than you can count
On that scoundrel.
He won't wipe them
Or hold you.
You know this.
You're just hiding expecting me to stop.
I don't stop.
I go on and on and on.
Annoying , isn't it?
That i tell you the future?
And yet you ignore me and bolt
Into the wilderness at twilight.
It never lasts, this blindness.
Your eyes adjust to the semi dark
And suddenly perfection has blemishes.
Don't count on anything but yourself
It's all fickle and ambiguous
And that too will change.
 Apr 2013 Zara Sophea
Lyra Brown
you hurt me in a way that does not
fill me with anger and resentment or a desire
to get some kind of revenge on you
it's the kind of hurt where i feel like it was all my fault and it's hard
because we have a history
and there's an automatic attachment that comes
with that
but somedays i just get so scared that you might hate me and i think
in these moments i remember the few instances where you made
me feel loved
and i try to hold onto those memories for no
good reason at all i'm just so afraid
of not being loved
because i don't feel worth loving
because i'm not very good at
loving myself
and even though
you are the last person i actually need to be loved by,
for some reason i just can't let go
of the fear that you don't love me and i think that's because
of my refusal to accept that you never
loved me at all

waking up beside you felt like a failure,
talking to you felt like a compulsion,
you liked me because i was unavailable in every way
except physically
and i liked you because you were unavailable in every way
except you provided an inconsistent comfort
that i hadn't felt in years

i don't know who to blame
to must be you
it must be you
you were the first person who removed my insides
and stuffed me with false reasons for why
you felt like nothing needed to change
and i believed you because i have a heart
that is easily manipulated
i don't like thinking about it
but it sticks to my mind like a moth sticks to a lightbulb
and there is no switch
to shut
it off.

— The End —