I've never been near snow or seen it in person, however many of my past lovers have frost bite coursing through their veins, in what is considered the sunniest state of all. I had an unbreakable habit of calling everywhere I slept home. Almost every state I had come across recognized my accent. Dear Fort Worth , you are a terribly lonely place. Your inhabitants overbred as if there was a spark of hope that one of you would get out of there. L.A, there is not a single thing New York doesn't have of yours besides ****. Little Rock, if you happened to be a human girl you would be beautiful and I would've most likely made love to you. I conquered the country I was bred to worship, I pledge of alleigance to the flag of countless landmarks. I pledge of alleigance to the false ideology of the American dream. I suppose traveling among this country is giving me the desire to keep something. No, to be kept. But I'm tired of walking, I'm tired of driving, I'm tired of the train that I hear each day at 6:00 am. I remember a time when I woke up to the grim reaper. I smiled as they thought it was because I was happy to see them. Truthfully, I was just happy that I woke up.

I couldn't wrap my mind around her senselessness, she couldn't wrap her brain around a single thing bigger than whether cheap store bought soda was as flat as her own father's heartbeat. Or whether the blueprints to her grave specified if her coffin would be placed 4 feet under the location of a new and thriving mall complex. She told me if that were the case she wish she could be 6"3 so those ******* money blowers couldn't walk towards the exit without tripping over the remains of her skull.

And boy did this amuse me, although she was not a girl who spewed out questions. I had always prefered answering over being told. I came to learn the more and more she continued to lay out her own fate as if she were a bulldozer wandering over dead oaks, the further it took me away from the one thing I wanted to say. " Yes princess"

I became worn out with the small talk, about why her attic had two locks; one on the inside and one on the outside. Or how to pronounce my last name, and why her grandmas dishes in her home on the wall were hung a certain way.  Why did the **** dishes mean a thing to me unless they were her? Fine china, something she was not. One could not even categorize her as fine mulch or fine ground up broken glass on the pavement.

Pastel was not a color of innocence, I cannot forget how each seam of her ******* screamed to be ripped off as the shades of pink and blue taunted me. However, from another's point of view she would've resembled an angel on her back, and me being a monster as I passed up the opportunity a few feet away sitting in some wobbly wooden chair in her room.

I strayed from the chair and leaned my limbs against one of the four walls that consisted of peeling wallpaper in the top right corner and smelled of air freshener. I was drunk and thinking of any other reason than me, for why this girl was lying on her bed and ******* as it leaked through her ******* and onto her light grey sheets.

Leaving the room for a few minutes I was appalled, insulted. Young yet smart enough to know that diving into what she laid out for me would take away what goal I had strived for the past months. How degrading it would be to give in, but it was entirely new to me that she was practically summoning me from her tower. Leaping off of her high horse to give me something that I may never have the chance to get again. I had my very own version of Rapunzel. My perfect girl ( finally ) flipping her hair just for me.

My biggest regret was returning to the door frame. The silence was loud enough for the deaf to hear and everything seemed put into place and constructed with nails and hammers that all lived in the same toolbox called Awkward. Which came undone when she released the words " I saw how you've been looking at me. "

The door to my composure shut as I closed her's behind me. I was tired of standing anyway, I sat down beside her on the bed trying to compose any excuse to back out of what I just wandered further into. She slipped her delicate fingers down the front of her ******* and let out " You can just watch if you'd like. " I sighed and I was frightened that I would become filled with endless amounts of obsessive adoration, making me less charming than it seemed to be in her eyes.

I reach down and accept the challenge to get my fingers ***** but before I can even get close enough to the battlefield that I was handed she hesitated with " I don't think so, you've been horrible go to the corner. " Who was I to not listen? It had gotten me nothing, not even the satisfaction of dodging my own conflict with desire. She pulled my hair back, forcing my neck to bend back as far as it will allow. This does not phase how helpless I had already felt long before. She dug her fingers into my left shoulder, it hurt more mentally than physically knowing that she was digging her thumb inwards wearing the emerald ring that her ex gave her long before me.

She let go and crawled into the open area between my arms, I held her and couldn't see anything other than her almond colored face and she smirked and said " I'm not going to ask how strong you are, I'll find out myself " She positioned one of her legs onto my left shoulder and pulled herself up. Her calves squeezing my neck as hard as they could. She smugly asked me " So you still want to listen? " I pressed my arms as tightly as I could to keep her propped up, determined to do something right. She wanted to see me fail, she thrived off of my lack of skills to impress. I had never ******* a girl before, using that against me gave her some type of high that lasted for as long as we had known each other.

She laughs and says " There's nothing stopping you from telling me how wet I am. " I do not say a single word, or show any hint that may suggest that I would. " It would be best not to drop me unless you never want to get this close again. " She wanted to do anything to make me fail, cause me more distress than I already had in the invisible suitcases around me. Wishing that I had enough arms and strength to hold them however, I could barely hold this 5"3, 100 pound girl that I so deeply admired. Something takes over and although my words are rusty they come out " I can smell how wet your ***** is. " I hate myself because I could not fight this small temptation even though I had been fighting myself the whole time.

I could hear her fingers glistening in her *****, I did not want this. Not for a second, but Jesus she was so attractive and so wet and like a shark eager to destroy it's wounded prey I was going to swim into her and finish her off. She starts to loosen on her grip and makes me taste her. This happens to be her only and biggest mistake. I push her off of my shoulders and onto the mismatched tile floor as if she were a *** of boiling water that spilled onto me. I do not hesitate to take her hips within the palms of my hands and cradle them like a small child, as I forced my tongue inside of her. She realized she has lost control and this scares her. I feel her trying to force her legs back around my throat and she tries to push me away.

She finally manages to do so and I crawl after her while receiving kicks and slams to my rib cage. I grab her wrists and hold her down and her pupils expand for the first time I have ever seen in reaction to a human being. I whisper " So what happened? Go ahead and taunt me again as if you are still in charge, amuse me. " My knees hold her down as if she is a helpless animal that has it's tail caught under a cage.

She wanted to tease me, find a method in order to boost her ego perhaps, maybe that was the case? My knee was pressed underneath her sternum. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to gag her with, I had to find some sort of way to restrain her first.