Zaina R

Zaina R Aug 2012

I can see.
I cans see us...

My gaze down,
My body slightly tilted away from you,
A small smile upon my face.
My hand on your shoulder,
My other on your arm
Your arm that's around my waist,
Telling me not to go.
Not to resist.
Not to be shy.
he wide smile on your face,
your gaze does not move away from me.
It knows what i am feeling.
I am trapped in your sweet embrace.
You enjoy this tease.
The wind blows, the lights highlight our faces, our every line.
The moment is eternal, overwhelming.
I want to run away from it but at the same time i don't want it to ever end.

Zaina R Aug 2012

And It Feels Like Heaven

I was your lover, i was your voice.
In the garden where god had made the most beautiful flower you were found.
The ocean springs and the birds that dwelt there could you have heard them?
In the darkness amid, that was filled so brightly with moonlight did you notice my exsistance?
That day when i cried, when i thought i had lost my dignity, you made me smile and brought me to this day.
This day where all the sorrows from the past seem like a dream,
Like a leaf that just flys past by with no significance, no purpose.

Zaina R Aug 2012

The Worst Feeling Ever

Everything has a purpose, a meaning.
Ever little movement has a reason.
I know i understand.
No matter how painful something gets I try to be the best, i want to be the best
The one who never turns their back on you.
But today my dignity and freedom were questioned.
This is something i can not handle, something i will not ignore.
My suffering is justifiable, no blame can be put on anyone or anything.
I deserve what i suffer.
I just need to figure a way to solve it, get ride of it.
Despite everything i still am thankful for what i have even though it may not be enough.
Anger and dissatisfaction is not the answer, but i still can't help but close my room door and cry.
Burry my head in the darkness of my arms and weep,
Sob until it feels as if my flesh is being eaten,
My eyes are turning into fire,
My lungs are fighting for breath.
My heart beats as fast as lighting strikes.
A storm that grows inside me.
I feel shame, i feel doubt i feel trapped.
But i still i do not blame.
The day i do i will lose the ability to fight, to even move.
Everything is in the open now, everything that i tried to hide because of my pride is revealed.
The only good that can come from this is the direction i am getting, the step i have decided to take.

Zaina R Aug 2012

Control

A hunger that can not be fulfilled.
An energy that can not be reduced.
No matter what is eaten,
No matter what work is done.
Even if the body is tired.
Nothing works.
How can this be dealt with.
Hoping to one day fulfill and end the aggression,
And the passion that enhances heat, energy, drive and motive.
Maybe the creator is testing, is tempting, because he is slowly being forgotten.

Zaina R Aug 2012

Materialism.

What is wealth?
I have nothing, no money, no time.
I have stress, i have worries.
I live in a mansion, i wear good cloths, i have an education.
I don't have him though.
I have the feelings, the emotions. But is that enough to survive in this world?
I am at peace, except for some days.
I have perspective but i have many faults, i tend to make mistakes.
Yet I know how to get lost, i know how to fight, except for some days.

Zaina R Aug 2012

The Two Sides

Melow.
Myself, going about my businesses but so lost.
That's how you make me.
I owe my beauty to you.
Thinking about our intimacy makes me blush, adds color to my skin.
Listening to our songs make me smile, brightening my face.
Watching you glistens my eyes, softening my gaze.
You create an alter ego too.
Sometimes so happy, sometimes so sad.
I wait for you, i long for you.
Then suddenly ill thinking about you and melt in your remembrance,
feel content with my existence, feel close to you when you are not even present.
Never has this happened before.
Never has come such a desire, such a desperation and attachment.
I had to learn self control, i needed to keep my pride.

Zaina R Aug 2012

Despiration

I need to get over you.
If only there was someone just like you.
Same face, same personality, same actions, same habits.
Me and you are impossible but yet why does my heart say otherwise.
Why do feelings and fate point in another direction?

I tried to dream a fantasy to forget you.
I tried thinking of someone better than you.
Someone who is far away,
Someone i have not even seen yet.
That person who does not even know i exist, that person i am also not sure exists.
He would be the one i fell in love with since i was born.
Don't know his face, or name but know his feeling, know his essence.

I tried, i tired and i was successful for a bit.
But what now? it's not working now.
The picture of life in my brain still has pieces of you stuck everywhere.
Its a color that never fades away, a song that never stops playing,
A face that never stops smiling.

Show me how to forget,
Show me how to erase this part in my picture.