I know enough to know
I could never hold on to you,

so pull me close, let me
live in this moment; let me
pretend that tomorrow
you'll love me

laying in that bed,
that scorching, pernicious cradle,
waiting for wrongs to pass.
omnipresent voices echo in her head,
playing in the shadows and
taunting her every thought.
there she dwells, mourning the
years of silence that are finally taking their toll.
tossing, turning, struggling to breathe,
she prays for a bearable lullaby,
one that never appears.
in the air is the bay of the broken,
silent weeping is all that is heard.
she twitches, she tenses,
keeping her composure at a level of malignancy.
all she wants is peace,
all that comes forth is disaster.
so she sinks further into her sheets,
into comatose, where at least her mind can run.
horrified, restless, stuck.
insomniatic.

There is no way I am coming back from this technicolor dream.

With my eyes shut,

my mouth still forms a smile.

My lips reach out into the empty dark,

hoping to find yours there waiting for mine,

This dream,

where I have found myself swimming in deep waters,

drifting with miles above me,

and miles below.

I’m falling.

I know you’ll catch me when I wake.

People try to fix me.
Pills.
Shut out the monsters,
Make me sit still.
Why can't you just let me be?

As far as I'm concerned,
I'm not broken.
Who hasn't a few screws loose?
Decisions made, without my opinion spoken.
Without a fair trial, meeting adjourned.

Soon I will be a ghost.
Nothing but a figure of the forgotten past.
Slowly but surely fading away.
I will still reside in this upstate loft.
Sitting in that cocoa brown armchair.
Watching the future live on in a front row seat.