All she wants
Is for her body to be wanted
Screaming, clutching, *******
Longing for the childhood she left behind
Longing for the father that left her childhood
Longing for the sweet stickiness
Longing to be wanted
She's finished with work
Pleasure is her job
And the man she pleases on screen
Tells her that her hard, painful effort
Was second rate
Was not pleasurable
Was not worth it
She closes her bedroom door
Knowing nothing else but pleasure anymore
Pleasure now means pain for her
She's caught in a trap
She's scared and alone
She's seeing the consequences of her actions
She cries out to the night
But only the sun and another day of work answer

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

I'm coming bro
I'll be there man
Wouldn't miss it for anything
Do we want bottles, or cans?

I'll try to show up
Though I won't stay the night
I want to come, I really do
I just don't want a fight

I might show up
I've got some things to do
You're still my brothers
Especially you

I want to show up
But it doesn't look like I can
Sorry to let you down bro
If only I could get a ride man


Oh, last night was fun
My brother's friend is cool
Cooler than you guys
I've moved on from high school

I once thought of Christmas
As a time of cheer and laughs
A time when family rounded together
Life has made my cynical

Now I see Christmas
As the adulterated holiday it is
**** presents, I'm broke
**** family, I'm ostracized
**** this, I look to Jesus
****, I'm wrong

I try to find the 'reason for the season'
But the harder I look, the more hardened I become
I want it to mean something again
Just like it used to when I was 10
But never again
Will I wish for Santa to come
Will I get excited for presents
Will I scrape together my piggy bank to please those that snub me
Will I regain what I've lost

I search for answers in my girlfriend
Reassured that our love will save me
From this cynical, unholy matrimony that I'm caught in
I'm Henry the 8th now,
I want a divorce
I want the love of Christmas again
I want to believe that this is all for Jesus
I want to think that I love him above all
But I don't, and I won't
Until I release this inner anger and angst

I'm forcing an annulment
I'm playing my hand
I'm trying so hard to fit in
But I realize, there's no way I can

Headaches, again
Time for another desperate attempt to suppress the need
Block out the noise, drink more water
You are full.

Itching, under my skin
One piece won’t hurt, right?
One leads to many, drink more water
You are content

Jitters, distracted
The sweet aromas surround me, as if they can satisfy
Then I hear the soft grumble, drink more water
You are determined

Smoke, filling my mind
Replacing all that’s been lost in this fight
Another cigarette, drink more *****
You are forgetting

Concentrate, use your tongue
Pleasing him has become more important than bread
A little longer, drink more water
You are empty

Bliss, almost free
I feel like a kite that’s been let loose on a windy day
Eat everything in sight, drink a coke!
You are guilty

Shameful, but act happy
Holding his hand, no thanks, I ate already
Change the topic, drink more water
You are hiding

Pressure, stubborn
He knows my lies, pushing some carrots my way
Chew nervously, drink more water
You are weary

Laughing, releasing
No dessert in this world could compare to how he makes me feel
Bring me closer, drink me in
I am full.