My heart's beating--
But hasn't it always been?


They're made of chicken flesh.
Did anyone love them?
Were they heroes or villains?
Doubtless, to them they died in heroism.

They were babies.
Toddlers throwing tantrums.
Teens behaving badly.
Physically lusting for life.
Adults worn into the world;
You can see it in the leather on their knees.
Like mummies.
Too far gone to matter.
How many people died so I could have this?

Go unto the mountain
And bring with you your son.
And after the fourth dawn
Bring down on him your brawn.

There will be no flinching,
Your knife against the Sun;
And you thank Adonai
For that *** you rode in on.

With the flesh of your flesh
Trembling in your red hands,
The Strength of the Absurd
Will keep you from your fall.

And as you put your blade
Through your light upon this Earth,
Feel it wet with folly
And drop down to the dirt...

Threre can be no Angels
Along the Interstate,
Hold on to what you love
And let this be your faith.

From dawn until dusk
To the sweat, dripping musk;
From attacks of musth
To that One Golden month.

Rising solid in the dawn--
As the bronzed Ego of Purpose--
Mustering self-esteem's brawn
Cools my trademark Nervose Verbose

But do appointments, notes,
Lectures, hecklers, and Beckers,
Distract the mind that dotes?
The Heart Desperate for Nectar?

Hah! such defensive thoughts....
Fallacies of Neuroses.
Just polishing my doubts,
Vainly "pleasing" my unease.

Monday's mundanity
Fails my lie of character--
Left with Insanity
Railing lines under pressure

And then, faces--balance blurs
Into downed neurons
Where not nobody cares to
"Think about the children!"

Hold me in my Insecurity,
Make my Black Tar light and feathery,
Help me to forget that I'm me:
Carry my Heart and make it merry.

Watch over me, my hands and my feet,
Think of me and my cracks in your sleep,
Just make my heart and soul complete:
I've sown all the seeds, now help me reap!

What? Were you not aware of my plan?
That a shared smile is a covenant
As binding as Isaac's *******?
That I have to roll you in my blunt?

What? Don't tell me that I ask too much.
Don't make it seem like it's not so rough,
When the Sadness just pleads for touch,
But can't—the world screams, " You're Not Enough!"

Well, my feet, they feel like
Saggy sacks of soggy moss;
As if they went for a hike
And suffered some Great Loss.

And the thorny feelers
Penetrate Barefoot Monkees.
Is loathing made of mirrors?
Is every girl a tease?...

Good G-d my stomach hurts! --
Your Divine Justice, blessed.
My vessel is vibing hertz
As it bears The Distress:

But, if I make my feet
Acknowledge more smiles than frowns;
And my Neuroses cease to bleat
While I analyze nouns...

Is there a New Normal?
Grace from benevolent gods?
Or will Hope choke, fade in Stealth
As Blind eyes miss her nods?

Pastries of the mind
Float like hollow driftwood,
Indulging the self-serving bind
That makes us think we are good.

It's a feasting born from birth,
"Inter urinas et faeces nascimur,"
They say, "it's the greatest shame we all endure,"
And the ******* sure won't lure with a pure cure.

They expose the submerging life preservers,
The hero of our name: the one that flips the burgers,
Fights the herders; causes, calls, and solves the murders,
All the infiniyy I could ever build and to make Her's.

With a diaper full of bricks
We are given humanity's paradox,
For in the ethereal plane we fully exist
Until the ****** bricks turn us sick.

But it's not so black and white,
Nor is it so yellow and brown.
The human creature can be beautiful
And the mind made delusional.

If we can repress our mind to find meaning,
And we can open up the chakras we're feeling,
But the world is just Black Sludge creeping,
Then why trade Protection for the real thing?

We like to sit together and eat
As a family.
I sit by myself towards the wall
With a half portion.

I'd like a cup of milk with it
And they oblige me.
The chicken is covered in fat
And I don't need that.

My weight means nothing to my gait--
I bounce like a cloud,
My head on my concrete-padded cell
That feel like giggles.

Out the doorway without a door
My friends keep an eye,
Because suicide is no joke
If I could stop laughing

I wanna nap-- no wait, I'll play.
I'll sit through this day
Til I get my shoe laces back:
Then I'll save my day

I drowned my sister twice,
Left hand, then the right.
Bubbles in the water like
A straw in Nesquik

Yeah, it was mean, but I'm nice, right?
We two are buddies,
You look and smell just like Shaggy,
Won't you play with me?

I drowned my sister twice
No, it wasn't nice.
And my brother drowned me must once
And that wasn't nice.

Once, lying under the cotton,
We were joined by Dad.
I kicked and scratched and screamed, "No, no!"
And then it's mumble.

My daddy proceeds to beet me,
And the his scratches...
My legs are boiling brown bruises,
But I'm still nice, right?

I drowned my sister twice
And fought off a shark.
My fists ****** from broken teeth
Start me towards shore.

The shark's mom and dad in pursuit,
I'm nearly done now
When a dolphin comes and saves me!
But never saved her.

I drowned my sister twice

Is it who's genes fall where?
   Or the pains we bear?
Is it the way we fare?
   Or the words we dare?

What makes the "love" Love?
   What feathers a dove?
What makes you wear that glove
   That keeps you from Love?

Do we make you hostile
   And storm down your mile?
Have we filled you with bile
   And forced your "Sieg Heil"?

Tell, how long must we wait
   For a bouncing gait?
Will your demons abate,
   Or have you ****** fate?

Some hold on to the hope
   That with time you'll cope;
They keep feeding you rope--
   I say, "******* nope!"

I gave you inches-- feet
   And with it I'm beat.
I'll watch you bite the teet,
   Silent in my seat.

Since you won't share my genes,
   Still stuck in your teens,
You can't care for our fare--
   Have no words to dare.

You're the feather-less dove
   Never to rise above.
They gave you unjust bile
   And you praised, "Sieg Heil!"

No, I say it's not unconscious,
For your Shadow's silhouette in me,
Whose force and face I can't always see...
I don't know, for it's subconscious.

Will you say I can have my way?
Or will you haunt me in our Laughter?

Laughter without a face is a cry

I am a bud flowering,
I just can't wait to be King!
The harvest moon rising
Can only mean one thing;

Dopamine's in flow
While you're rising from the blow--
Hey wait, No, Don't you go!--
Revel in the Crash and Glow.

Put your demons to bed
Like thy're no better than zed--
And don't fear to be led,
Because sometimes you're better off dead.

My sun-scorched back tingles pin-point waves of, not quite pain--distress--as I settle back onto this memory-stained slab of concrete.
Puffing on a dark-green American Spirit, I relax, taking stalk of the monumentous armada above.

Letting go of all focus from my vision in an attempt to take in the world summons forth an arrayed troupe of points
Though, they're not that, per se, more like minute splashes along the clouds' surface.
They don't remain stationary for long.
Suddenly aware of an audience, they get the show rolling.
Center stage, a forceful spiral forms, slowly whirl-pooling the others
Gravity's on theirs ***** now, they get close, slingshot, rinse and repeat.
Individual groups pinch together and blow apart.

The performance humbles me, forcing me to take responsibility for my actions,
For straight A's popped,  
Living wills written on concrete slabs, while puffing a light-green American Spirit.

You look-- like her.
You know, like love.
Like a mangy cur
That's just enough

I dare not deter
Your detection,
I wish to incur
Your affection

I have to ensure
Your eyes see me
And that when you purr,
It's just for me

In the cage of my heart
There's a great haunting,
Cliche, tears me apart,
Stems from my wanting.

Desire for purpose,
Love, freedom, dire.
Every time I get close
My speech goes verbose,

For the ghost of my chest
Lies closer to hand
And I think this'd be best
In fantasy land.

In there I'm not nervous,
I'll show her who's boss
With lips that make "us,"
Beauty, Justice, Loss...

The crash, universal,
Never leaves my mind.
It's my one Eternal,
My heart it does bind.

So now I'm forced to wait,
Sad, nervous and blue;
I know that I'm not great,
But... well... hey... *******.

I don't need you bringing
My demons back up,
Now my ears are ringing--
****, gimme the cup!

My dead, glazed eyes
Hide a hole-y-er heart
That beats beats beats,
Oh God how it beats!

Terror? Panic?!?
Why yes, I suppose.
Dare I divulge
What cause my manic?

I would prefer not.
Why expose the pain
I know how I caught?
After all, the others care not.

But I say this without malice,
My Grace lies within--
I can get it from no Alice...
I'll try and just grin.

So I guess I'm saying it seems,
That no, it's not by my dreams,
that from my reading of the scenes--
You've still got feelings for me

And I know how you'll say say say
It's only a crush of May,
And that surely we must delay--
Wait for your permanent gay

But I'm sure you must know know know
That the wind will never not blow
That it will shake you to and fro
And will never let you go

Yes, you could wait for Tomorrow
And try so hard to swallow
The feels you feel, my Great Sorrow,
But one day you'll have to go

And follow the gales where they blow
Into the caverns below
And shine the light you dare not show,
And from that you'll surely grow.

I just hope it won't be alone.

My Art... HAH! A joke--
But not one worth telling.
Bad in the burly existentialist sense
Unlike the golden Grandpa goads.

No. A joke that waves
Comedy--Tragedy--Obscurity.
In the gutters it would not be so.
In the gutters I may be alone.

In the gutters the fat of the lamb will hear my heart
And then, in the gutters, it--I--we-- shall find our home
For, you see, us three, we be
Friendly ******* of Filth and Froth,

The Filthy Fat from which loathing Bubbles.
Yes. Only in the gutters to mine own--all selves-- be true.
For you, yes you, and the fair few, you vessels, you
Of objection and projection. Yes, for you.

I say "come what may"
To the river, Me,
For I cannot stay,
Yet, can never leave

You ask, "pain or joy?"
I say "let it be"
For words will annoy--
And cloud what you see

Instead, I say "play"
Strive only for glee
But if it's at bay
I say, "let it be"

How I love your style
With your turn, your smile,
Your silly "sieg heil!",
Your sickness and bile.

Allow me to be
The thing you dream,
The constrictor of glee,
The reason for T.R.E.A.M.

Together we can,
We may, go away--
So swiftly we ran
Up along the bay

The others they yell
"No way, come and stay"
But swiftly you fell--
My hand led the way

And can you believe,
The horrible glee
With which his lips licked.
Dreaming-- carcass picked,

Reveling wholly.
Dismissing Holy
Enlightened beings,
Sinking in Needing.

Black black smack, alack!
I'm a crack-gack hack!
Or, mayhaps, I'm not?
Or, perhaps, just caught,

In nauseous verde waves
Of fanciful raves--
Rants all entertained--
I say makes me drained.

Baudelaire's half-baked,
Chatterton-- cracked
Morally, sorely
Standing half-poorly

But standing up still,
Avoiding the thrill
Of desert mirage,
It's poison barrage!