we layed in the room
with the peeling wallpaper;
the sweetly painted flowers
now crinkled and drooping;
you swallowed your heart and
i asked you where it went.
you said you didn't know
what i meant.
but when i curled my toes around yours,
they were stone cold;
and i could see that your eyes-
once a habitat of wild floras and faunas-
had turned to granite.
i nestled my body tightly against
this unfamiliar tombstone
that held the sculpted angles of
your shoulder blades
and the empty lost echo of
your heart beating.

the urge  
         to be
"perfect"
      is impossible
to ignore

.|~|.

Every night we count the stars,
then you count my eyes.

summers seduction returns
with burning rays of light.
I find my resonance with night
has been reawakened as I can
roam the streets without the tease of winters chill.

my bike and I have had somewhat of a falling out
yet I feel the urge to grip the bars
and pedal until my breath beats
me for the lack of it, and my legs
turn to jelly from the unfamiliarity.

I am a pretender.

Looking through a window that is slightly open,
so that a breeze winds in
with gathered memories
of subliminal pain.

And I'm lost
partially wandering on a plot of unknown sand.
With the sun no longer reflecting,
refraction.
A reddening burn
and a quickened pulse
aching *****
and held breath.
I know where I am.

I am a fake.
But I cannot go through with it.
If I do not in the "real,"
why lie online?
Why hide myself
and view myself
criticize myself in comments with names that aren't mine,
not even who I want to be?

Why do I ignore myself,
and let fade into lingo.

Because I am human
and I don't want you to know me.
Even when I want you to feel,
I want you to share this moment with me.
And that is why
I post these
discombobulating pieces of no reckoning,
non-entertaing, ultimate **** "poems."
Because I want you to understand this
                                                                        me
in this instant.

Under the darkness
That's where we were
The light of the moon
Lighting the car
I see your eyes
As they stare at my face
As your fingers touch me
And my body they trace
The feeling between us
Was unbelievable
It's undeniable
At least for me
Who knows if we'll ever be
What I know in my heart
All I ever want to see
Is us never to be apart
I cry in the night
By that same moonlight
Thinking about what I've lost
And the lines I've crossed
To try to be with you
Something I'll always do
Like I said I'll always be chasing
Even when it's heartbreak I'm facing.

From now until forever, but forever isn’t long.

From today until tomorrow, unless something goes wrong.

Starting now, and lasting forever, although forever doesn't exist,

Moving forward and getting nowhere, it’s you I can’t resist.

Ships are sinking, bridges burned, these mistakes, we can’t go back.

They're lessons that I've yet to learn, it’s sympathy for you, I lack.

Jumping off a buildings top, without your hand in mine;

“I love you” was far too much, I'm just trying to pass the time.

Dying is not an option, so I grow wings and fly;

Escaping from the world below, sinking in the sky.

Where will you be?
I'll likely be
In my ******.