Can you capture,
can you get away?
he asked patiently
appearing harmless, helpful
like a sensei

I sat in thought
nervous about my next move
trying to focus on the box in play,
just as he had taught me
ignorantly paying no mind
to the soon-to-be-queen
brewing in a distant plane
A pawn, but only in disguise
stealthily eyeing its next **** 

I looked to him for guidance
but his demeanor had quickly changed
his eyes, no longer looking so kind

My fingers froze, my chest compressed
I thought to myself
can I capture, can I cower?

As it turned out, my next move
would be futile no matter
So I took my pieces and walked away
I was no good at playing games anyway

Last breath
The end
Chest open
Inhale
Three
Two
One
Let go
Be gone

The house was being emptied
as we exchanged laughs
talking about
our first cigarettes

Tattered books, toys, plans
placed on the curb for grabs
as I timidly reached for your hand
hoping that new memories could mask
those of the twelve years past

I lick my lips slowly
savoring each molecule that's left
still confident
in my choice to cut back
all the while unaware
that I'm already trapped

sticky
sweet
addicting
withholding
no different than the rest

curtained behind
a dubious smile
watching, waiting
to provide
temporary pleasure
then cater
to another

Three times now
I've washed my hands
and still feel its trace
maybe I'll try
agave next

A few hours of elation
followed by weeks of self-deprecation
Here I am
in trouble again

At least now the greens are gone
soon I’ll even be rid of the bottle
but letting go of our playful banter
is punishment I don’t want to handle

So go ahead and tax me
for pretending there ever was a “you and me”

Washed up on the beach
barely breathing
she had travelled far
beyond the Andes
north of the equator
into cooler waters

At seven-feet-wide
it was hard to comprehend
how she'd gone so long unexposed
So they called her Hoodwinker
for often she deceived
those who tried
to get under her skin

Found too late,
and far from home
they assumed she took a wrong turn
"How lonely, strange"
they said
unaware that she just sought
her own path instead

Later they'd learn some things
from her sturdy skeleton
but they'd never know her side
of the life that she so staunchly chose

Bruised, bare
leave me with my blanket
while I build a tougher layer

The floor is still wet you see
and my ankles are just too weak
for the slippery mess out there

Give me some time
I'll try to decompress
though currently, Cynicism
has me tangled in her nest

I’m going to close the blinds now
to be at my own mercy
Don't be alarmed
if you don't hear from me