To my partner during sunny days,
We will always be happy together.
But when storms may come, waves may rise and the sunny day may hide behind the stormy clouds
We never understood each other based on the noisy banters we throw at each other.
You gaslight me of things I never said, manipulate me of things I never did
Worse of all, I never understood myself during the anxieties of the weather
Life was too short to come by,
time too limited to be wasted
I never noticed the tears that fell from my eyes
When my heart was too heavy to carry the hurt and burden I felt deep within me
My mind bursts into chaos
Too stressed to overthink of things in life we have no control of
Promises are only inside our palms, curled empty-handed
Color me intrigue of the stuffs I used to do
And cutting my hair has become a habit of mine
To relieve stress...

It’s not exactly flattering,
but this song always plays in my mind
whenever you resurface:

Say hello to the girl you can't let go.
Does she know when you're home,
it's me you're trying to call on your phone?
I'm holding back everything I wanna say—
consider yourself lucky
that I'm choosing to behave.

Does she know?
That you have a dummy account?
That through your dump account,
you still try to message me?
You have a girlfriend now, boy.
So why do you keep insisting on reaching out?

We never got closure, and honestly—
there’s nothing left to say.
It’s over.

What was the point of reaching out to me?
To check in?
You should have done that back when we were still together.
What changed now?
When you chose to break us apart,
did you think about it then,
or is it only crossing your mind now
that you’ve found happiness with someone else?

Every time I hear our theme song,
I no longer think of you.
I no longer remember our memories.
The only thing that comes to mind is the moment you left me.

You should’ve realized that back when we were together.
So sorry, boy—
your loss, not mine.

We never know the whole story
We knew they both had a history
I only know the gist of it
But the mariteses cannot get over with it

Feeling victim for clout
They probably know by now what it was all about

He was a charming young man
While she was a selfish and materialistic woman
He only wanted to give, to love
But he was killed out of mercy, out of hate or love

Saving yourself while killing someone you love
They both seem to know what they need to shove
Forget everything in an oblivious way
An unforgivable menace comes along your way

You should be careful by now about the way you acted or behave
But that doesn’t mean you will be saved
Your days are counted but out-numbered
But you felt guilty, feeling encumbered

Consider yourself lucky for making it out alive
Choosing yourself to be alive just to survive

Yeah, because you prolly should have known by now
It is not what god wanted, but something that evil allows
You are the bait in someone’s hook
I hope you let yourself off the hook

Your asukarera de papa is not almighty
Because shiny things are not all shiny
They might blind you; it was indeed too good to be true
Some are pretentious to reassure, while some are real and pure

You’re the prey of the hunter
Feeling like an undercover
Everything was yet to be discovered
Not gonna happen that a lifeless interest was left to be unexplored

You were the precious bunny in his tantalizing eyes
At that time, the spirit of jealousy was on the rise
They said he was in a higher-being position
He got a family, a wife and four children

Hence, He got distracted in the beautiful garden of Eden
But the mistress and the * were in an awkward juxtaposition

But he was not a god, nor was a saint
He was handling any issues like a brief feint
He blamed god for everything else
He was feeling blessed, no more, no less

He said god was on his side
But as far as it gets interesting, the devil was his bride

Now you’re the target of the killer
This phenomenon was an indestructible thriller
He may have pocket knives, guns, arrows, ammo, name it
Best for you to forget or believe it

He marks the X on the spot
He left you there, lying on the streets to rot
He grinned so much now you’re gone
The mission was accomplished and done

But I hope you listened to me, but you never did
You gained so much of what you want to benefit

Millions of blood money were used in the wrong situation
Now that she got her decision, everything is in transition
Now you’re six feet below the ground
Now she's playing like a victim, feeling depressed that you're not around

She may be spending a lot to compensate for the pain
The trauma and the blame have left there in your mind, they remain
To lessen the pain and the burden
It doesn't make you any less golden

To lessen the sins, you have committed
Since you're so selfish, your sins were never admitted

It doesn’t matter if you visit him, any day, any night
You killed an innocent life, that's not right
From your selfish deeds, knowingly you have needs
You only think of yourself, self

You never should have bothered him in the first place
Now he was in a better place

He believed he was holy
But your soul is agonizing, deadly, slowly but surely
Holy enough to involve others
Flushing everything down the gutter

Tasked others to do the crime
It was not god's timing, but the devil's time
He thought he was protected by the saints and the gods
For the sake of their bad blood

He made religion his shield
Everything will be revealed
But makes evil schemes behind the church’s back
Your body and soul, later on, will be the hell's snack

The mastermind was his lover
He said he'll leave his wife for another
Felt guilty enough to care for the dead
Now you're a famewhore, a memer, your issues spread

But it’s too late, stop pretending
You never loved him, you were only good at pretending
You used him many times, **** him all you want
But you were not so nonchalant

Clinging unto your asukarera de papa for money and fame
By simply calling and talking to him, he can sense you are no longer the same

Spoiling you for getting everything
He is such a scary thing
You even fooled yourself about him wanting you
He is just ******* you, getting your nerve out of you

You got the nerve to keep asking him
Singing him praises and hymns
Visiting his tomb, telling him, you'd wish him to be your groom

You never thought of him even once or twice
Now they've pressed you for charges, no running away now
It's time to pay the lifetime price
You've been a spoiled brat, somehow

They said you keep buying him useless things
Now, seeing him in a tux, lying in his casket, unattached strings


But later on, when you feel sad and depressed, it gets funny
You traded his soul for the money
Don’t you know what power it will bring to the world?
Chaos and death are unfurled

You may be pretty and angelic
Being a ****** suit you but not being dramatic or sympathetic
But whom the **** knows what your mischievous attitude and behavior did to him
You were the best actress in the show, trying to fit in the show to look like a film

His worth never meant something to you
Now that you got the best view
His worth is just a dime that fell on the floor
You are not that worth it anymore

A lot of people believed though
You kept on faking it though
You got the nerve to chill and swim in the sea
They labelled you as the pokpok ng **, you see

You got the audacity to sleep, eat and work
Well, the best reaction is just to smirk
After the incident, after what you’ve done to them
Now you've got the hellish realm, to protect yourself from them

After what you’ve done to the bereaved family
Until further notice, you were no longer in fantasy

What lies ahead, what lies behind and what lies beyond it all
They will surely blame you all
You never deserve the best girlfriend award, wildcard
But she was ignored, they implored

They only want to give you the trophy you deserve, it was a catastrophe
She treated his family nastily

He was never released or in peace
But let's pay our respect to the deceased
His soul was in misery, in restlessness
I guess you seem relentless

Say your comforting and doubtful prayers
Come and show everyone your crocodile tears
Telling everyone your lies and faking a smile
Just before everything was settled, even the error and trial

Though reminiscing those memories, he left behind
But everyone seems to turn an eye so blind
Your eulogy was only a show
Everyone knows the truth but still, they went to go on with the flow

Whereas hiding your true feelings, feeling glad
Behind the curtains, you tell everything to your sugar dad
While everyone cried their heart out, their eyes were bawling
Got no sleep, tired of overthinking

What do they call you?
You’re a ******* *****, home-wrecker, concubine
Mistress, *****, *******, harlot
That is what they call you
I mean, now that's a lot

Pretend to your daddy, and tell him your intention
Your soul is hungry for love and attention
You're no brainer, just a dummy
Whose soul is thirsty for money

Your soul started agonizing in pain
It is nothing that your self-gain
You are alive but felt hellish guilty as ****
Wait till god plucks your life like a wasted duck

You mask your motives
Thus, everything in this issue we bet seems explosive
You ask for sympathy to gain self-esteem
**** your life, your dream

You do not want to 'fess up to yourself
Hiding the truth like a book on its shelf
You always mess up with everyone’s family
Your foul words are profanity, what you did was an act of inhumanity

You are the mastermind from the beginning to the end of time
You came to his tomb, confessing and repenting your sins from time to time
He keeps visiting you in your dreams
Quit that routine, you're no longer his queen

Asking for mercy and peace of mind
But you never mind
You never thought of loving him was the best thing you ever did
You're a one skilled ***** after all, as fulfilled

How come you **** up and never listened to your conscience
Now you have to face the consequences.

My personality is like a deck of cards—each one revealing a different facet of who I am.
The good cards are my victories in life, the ones that draw people to me despite my innocence and naivety.
They are the moments that allow me to forge connections, to befriend others, to navigate the world with hope.

But behind those cards lie the bad ones—the losses in the game, yet paradoxically, the wins in life.
They unveil the raw truths of existence, exposing the genuine intentions of the world and the shadows within my own nature. Perhaps many have never truly known me.
People recognize only the parts I choose to reveal, the carefully presented pieces of my story.
Yet they remain unaware of the silent battles, the unseen struggles I have endured.

How can someone claim to truly know me when all they have seen are the reels, the highlights, the fleeting clips of my life—but never the raw, unfiltered behind-the-scenes?

They witness the carefully curated moments, the victories, the laughter, the beautifully framed snapshots that fit within their expectations. But they don’t see the retakes, the silent battles fought off-camera, the exhaustion, the parts of my story too complex or too painful to compress into a mere clip.

To know me is not just to watch the performance, but to understand the struggles that shaped it.
It is to acknowledge the moments I didn't share—the doubts, the resilience, the quiet growth beyond the spotlight.

True understanding lies not in what is shown, but in what is felt beyond the frame.
What you see of me through social media is not real—the curated moments, the framed exposures, the glimpses tailored for the world to perceive.
The truth lies beyond the filters, beyond the carefully composed narrative.
So let me reshuffle my life however I choose.
Stop assuming you know everything about it when you don’t.
Stop implying that things will unfold a certain way, because they won’t—not like that, not how you expect.

My path is mine alone, shaped by choices only I understand.
The future is not predetermined, and what is “supposed to happen” will never be dictated by anyone but me.
So just let me be—let me exist as I am. I don’t need anyone to shape me, to define me, or to tell me how to move through life. I can get by on my own.

I know my path, my resilience, my own way forward. And that’s enough.

Toodles.

He was all seven of the deadly sins
but he made me a villain for everyone to see
that there is a little bit of devil
hidden in my angelic innocent eyes

like pride, I'd swallow you whole
spit you because you're lukewarm
said he, "you'll be the death of me"
I smirked and spot with my little eye
to tell you a white lie
"I am the ruin of you"
does it scare you now?

watch everything you built
crumble down
I did everything
in my power
to destroy everyone
who stands in my way.

I was once young and naive,
to tell you, frankly
I thought birds can fly
without its wings
locked in a cage
full of broken dreams
and opportunities passing by.

I plead for help
every whip and blow
is pain and bruised
all wounded up
I'd **** for you
but don't **** me in return
put me in a sack,
smoke and burn me
bang my head against the wall
I hope I healed my inner child

I was cruel to the world,
bitter for everyone to see
my ****** heart all melted
for someone so softhearted.

bad monsters never looked like monsters
sometimes, a monster holds a rooster
put under the influence
smoke ****, cigarette and drink to sleep
he breeds violence, breeds selfishness and greed
watch the world burn
or watch yourself lie in your sarcophagus
deep within your catacomb

I do not need a therapist—
Poetry is all I need.
Since it is my unpaid therapist;
Where the world's perspective of me is the contentment of my experience
Hence, Hello Poetry is my freedom wall, so to speak.

Guess who's back, back again?
(snitch is back, snitch is back)
I've created a monster inside of me
no longer the pretty, petty and kind girl
I am tired from all of the drama
It's been distracting me, non-stop now
In oceans deep, I will not curse you
but I hope you drown, *****
When oceans rise, like lion roaring
You were the prey, he will devour
God knows and sees my pain, I know
you've been in pain too
but I can't stand your scandalous deals
bruh, "you are educated but scandalous at the same time"
I looked up to you, treated you as the G.O.A.T
but nah, instead, you are the literal goat
The scapegoat.
believed you were saved by a handkerchief with Latin prayers
you sold your soul to the devil
now you can't see me eye to eye
strongly believed, you did had a faith in the eye of Horus
but never believed in the power of our God, our personal savior and creator
you were dark, I was bright and pure
forgiven, point taken.
but i never forgot, honey
I do forgive, but what you did is never forgotten.

So, everybody, just follow me
'Cause we need a little controversy
listen now to what I am about to say

Snitch is back, *****
She rose form the grave
she never sleeps in hay day
and even back at night too.
black candles, lit
black and red roses, petals on the floor
caskets opened, unburied body
dead or alive
I never cared less of what I should be caring for

The apple does not fall from its tree— commonly known as him. His mother was the same as him. He denied it, but the actions spoke for itself.

But I prefer, what made him as a story maker— adds and subtracts the information.

To gain sympathy and attention from his mother, he does that.
But my family lost its trust and loyalty towards them.

Hindi ako ang taong hinahanap mo, at siguro, hindi rin ikaw ang taong akala ko noon na kailangan ko.

Oo, nagbago ako— at alam kong iyon ang hindi mo matanggap. Pero kailan ba naging kasalanan ang pagbabago? Bakit kailangang may masisi? Bakit kailangang isa sa atin ang may sala?

Ang "tayo" noon ay tila isang kwento na sinimulan natin nang may galak, ngunit natapos nang walang malinaw na wakas. At kahit gusto **** isipin na isa lamang itong kwento ng paglimot, alam **** hindi lang iyon ang nangyari.

Alam **** may mga sandali na kahit magkasama tayo, ang isip ko ay lumulutang, naghahanap ng ibang daan, ibang kapiling. At alam **** kahit anong sakit ang maramdaman mo ngayon, walang balikan, walang paliwanag na sapat para burahin ang katotohanang iyon.

Kung ang paglayo ko ang naging dahilan ng pagguho mo, hindi ko na iyon mababawi. Pero huwag **** isipin na ginawa ko ito upang sirain ka. Dahil hindi ko kailanman hinangad ang bumitaw sa bagay na minsan kong pinahalagahan.

Pero minsan, ang isang tao ay hindi talaga itinadhana upang manatili. At minsan, ang pagmamahal ay hindi sapat upang hindi hanapin ang iba.

Hindi kita pinagkaisahan, hindi kita ginamit, hindi kita iniwan nang walang dahilan. Nagbago ako, nagbago rin ang nararamdaman ko. At hindi kita ginawang laruan— pero hindi ko rin kayang ipilit ang isang bagay na nawala na.

Ikaw ang naglingon pabalik, habang ako naman, tuluyan nang lumakad palayo. Hindi dahil gusto kong makalimutan, kundi dahil alam kong wala nang dapat pang balikan.

Hindi ko na hihilingin na intindihin mo ako. Hindi ko na pipilitin ang sarili kong magpaliwanag pa sa iyo, dahil sa dulo, hindi naman kailangang lahat ng bagay ay may paliwanag.

Matagal ko nang alam ang nararamdaman mo, matagal ko nang alam ang hinanakit na hindi mo kayang bitawan. Pero kung ako ang nagpasyang lumayo, ikaw rin naman ang matagal nang hindi nagawang manatili.

Kung ang huli nating usapan ay isang paghuhusga, isang pagsisi, isang hanapan ng dahilan— siguro, ito na ang huling sagot ko sa iyo.

Hindi ko na kailangang lumingon pa. Hindi ko na kailangang ipaliwanag pa kung paano ako nakahanap ng iba, kung paano ako tuluyang nawala kahit sa harapan mo pa lang.

Wala na rin naman kahit na balikan, wala na ang tamis nung ika’y nahagkan, at sa huling paalam, naintindihan na sa ating dalawa, may ibang nakalaan.

Wala na tayong “tayo.” At kung iyon ang katotohanan, matagal ko nang natanggap iyon.

Sa pagkakataong ito, hindi ko na kailangang lumingon pa. Paalam.

Tagalog version:
ang multo ko
ay
hindi isang tao
kundi, ito ay
isang alala ng pangarap kong
hindi natupad.
mga oportunidad na dumaan lang,
mga panahon na lumipas
at mga oras na nasayang
at napunta sa wala
mga pera na naigastos
sa walang kabuluhang bagay.
multo kung makapanakot, wagas
dito mo masusukat ang totoo
na minsan hindi multo ng kaluluwa
ang makakapag-nginig sa'yo
kundi multo ng kahapon.

English version:
My ghost is not a person, but a memory— a dream that never came true.
Opportunities that passed by; time that slipped away, hours wasted, spent on nothingness, money lost on meaningless things.
Ghosts can haunt with cruelty, and here, you see the truth— sometimes, it is not the spirit of the dead that shakes you to the core, but the ghost of yesterday.

To my old little me,

When life weighs you down, stand firm—lift yourself up, plant both feet on the ground, and stay grounded.

We did not defeat them, and we will not reconcile with them.

To those who have hurt you, try to understand them. Maybe they're simply carrying too much, and their frustrations spilled onto you. Or maybe, they were never truly loved by their mother.

Enjoy your life there, old little me, for here, life presses down on me too much. I used to cry out loud, but now, when I am in pain, I weep in silence.

That’s when I realized— how painful it is to release all your sorrows in secret, covering your mouth so no one can hear you.

You end up crying everything out, because you are used to not being heard. And when you do speak up, it is always one-sided— they say you are just complaining. You keep thinking about how exhausted you are, but they compare their exhaustion to yours. And then they tell you that you have never truly suffered, so the moment you struggle even a little, they see you as weak—quick to surrender.

Sometimes, it feels disheartening to live in a world where pain seems endless. God has witnessed everything— the struggles, the weight of it all. The pressure I feel while searching for a job has made me realize how tough it truly is. It is no joke— at times, it is deeply frustrating.

So, old little me, wipe your tears. If you stumble on your journey, rise again—every time. Carry with you the proverb "Nanakorobi yaoki— "Fall down seven times, stand up eight."

22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd.
23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone,
24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake.
26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.

27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”

28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”

29 “Come,” he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus.
30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”

31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”

32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down.
33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.”

Matthew 14:22-33

Sometimes, when a storm enters our lives, we become consumed by its turbulence—
searching for solutions,
struggling against the waves—
forgetting to turn our hearts toward God.

When I was young,
I realized that the challenges we face,
the so-called "storms" of life,
are not meant to break us but to draw us closer to Him.
They are reminders that God is truly in control,
that His wisdom surpasses our understanding,
and that we need not carry the weight of worry alone.

To focus on God rather than the storm is to trust in His power and love through every trial.
But that trust should not be reserved only for difficult times—
it should become a habit,
woven into the rhythm of our daily lives.
Let our faith be steadfast,
not just in adversity,
but in every moment,
we are given.

Life’s plans don’t always unfold the way we expect, but God’s timing is far greater than our own.

In 2023, I was diagnosed with Conn’s syndrome and arrhythmia—a tormenting discovery. But I placed my worries in God alone, praying for a miracle.
When my doctor told me my left adrenal gland needed to be removed, I faced it with faith. Through laparoscopic surgery in August 2024, I underwent the procedure.

By late October, I enrolled in an online review center for my major in English while self-studying Professional Education and General Education at home.
For five months, I listened to myself—allowing rest when I wasn’t in the mood to study, watching TV when I needed a break.
I did not overwork my mind.
I slept when I was tired, ate when I was hungry, read when I was bored.

Instead of memorizing concepts, I familiarized myself with them. When my exam came on March 23, 2025, some mnemonics I had memorized appeared, but many questions were unfamiliar.
Afterward, I was drained, so I went to see my partner, and we shared a meal.
My thoughts were exhausted, my body weary—but the experience was strangely fulfilling.

On Monday evening, a friend visited, and we spoke about everything—the exam, life, the future.
I took time to rest before preparing to find a job, whether online or in person.
Adulthood has been overwhelming, but also incredibly joyful.

Seasons of waiting teach us far more than we realize. Opportunities come and go, but taking the risk never leaves you empty-handed. If you win, wonderful—but if you lose, you walk away enriched with experience. You may begin without skill, but you end with wisdom.

God’s seasons are always beautiful if you have the patience to wait. We often lose hope when life feels stagnant, when our efforts seem insufficient. Waiting is never easy—many falters, stumble, and fail because of impatience. Rushing only leads to mistakes, while taking the time to grow brings lasting beauty.

The secret to making life beautiful isn’t in haste; it’s in the process. Growth requires patience, like a baby learning to walk—it doesn’t happen overnight. No child is born today and walking tomorrow. Every milestone takes time; every lesson is earned through practice.

Seasons of waiting test our endurance, and yes, they can feel frustrating—even overwhelming. But remember, the best things come to those who wait. In patience, we find wisdom. In slowing down, we find meaning. And in trusting the process, we discover that life unfolds exactly as it should.

I was meant to be yours before we met
It's your face I don't want to forget
I have felt your presence everywhere
As I have looked for you in everything

It's your voice I long to hear
There's nothing left to fear
And you never left me cause you're always there
And this is such an unexpected meeting

The butterflies I have felt inside my stomach
Oh, I have loved you from the moon to the stars and back
From the time I wake up, it's you I always think of
Up to the time I go to sleep, you're the last person I'm praying for

It's you I always dream of
To be with forevermore
No matter what I do
No matter where I go

There's a smile drawn on my face
There's a constant happiness painted in my gaze

You are and will always be my angel
You are and will always be my only love
You are and will always be my priority
You are and will always be my only choice

How you loved to see me in the best angle
I can see it in your eyes, love
That I am more than a fantasy
That explains why I became your first choice

Angel of mine, Angel of mine
I love you; I miss you
Angel of mine, Angel of mine

Distance is just a matter of challenge we face
But always remember that my heart only belongs to you
From the time I met you up to the time that you're already mine
Cause I knew this feeling is real the second I saw you

And everything fell in its place
The way our souls intertwine
I can't promise to solve all your problems
But you won't have to face them all alone

Even if your life has hit rock bottom
You'll never be alone

I can't wait to wake up next to you every day
Be with you every single day
Please don't forget how much I love you so
I just had to let you know

Even if I never let it show
I hate to see you go
I was meant to be yours even before we met
And you were an angel of mine I’ll never forget

"Did you know someone told me?
A friend of mine said... Do you know about so-and-so?"

You know what? I don’t care.

Before you assume I’m the person they talk about, ask me first. Confirm it with me— whether it’s true or not.

Girl, if you don’t want people thinking your character’s cheap, don’t be a backstabber. Don’t be a gossip. Stop spreading lies that aren’t even true.


If you think you gained something from my life, then sana all. Should I start handing out study guides and questionnaires? You seem to know so much—almost tempting enough to knock you down a peg.

And for those still clueless about their own lives, just ask your neighborhood gossip. They always know more than you do.

for almost 30 years
my trauma of what my father did to me
still haunts me
one time, I was asleep,
dreaming,
I saw a child being beaten by my father
as it turns out, I am that child
and an adult me, stood from afar, frozen
cannot move, cannot speak

as if, it was a reminder for me to see
that not everything is meant to be forgotten
even I could not distinguish it
that am I in my dreams or in reality?
It felt surreal,
since dreams are just an imitation or mimicry of the reality
It was hard for me to fathom
why did these things happen?
Is there a purpose?
Or is it for a reason?

my battle scars are still there
how I wish that the young me
is not all bruised and abused

I wish someone out there helped me
when they heard me screaming for help
but they were too afraid to come by

In his eyes, I can see
that he did not love me
Is his definition of love about abuse?
or is it a mere facade he masks

every time I look at him as my father
he was never a father, but a figure
that every time, I see him
holding a knife, a belt or anything sharp
to whip or hurt me
I shiver from the memory
by thinking about it
it gave me horror

I built up my walls so high
I built my standards so high
that no one could ever climb on
to ruin it for me
but it did break down
until I met her.

everything changed,
every kiss and hug feel like home
a comfort I was longing to find
that even if it led me to unfamiliar places
meet a lot of different faces
she is still that woman that gave me joy
that gave me light
loved and accepted me
embraced me as a whole,
though I felt shattered and incomplete
but without her, life was meaningless.

That was when I decided to say that she is the one for me.

Everyone might not get it,
Too many times I rather give up or quit
There’s no one else to commit
No one else to admit

Being bullied many times, sometimes
Feeling like a pantomime
I ain’t a shifted paradigm
Feels like my life is a movie in a primetime

I’m an outcast to the world
Felt like I belong more in the netherworld
Seems like their minds are gnarled
Every time I say I hated the world

Unwanted to the family I never belong in
My worth felt like a trash bin
I prefer not to lose but to win
Even when I get drunk, the solution to everything is not a tonic gin

I see life in ropes and knives
Are they even horrified with their own lives?
When they chose to summon a welcome- hope kicks in and revives,
I see myself sinking instead of choosing to thrive

I see death in this situation I’m in right now
When I send help to thee, then come thou
Said he, “you reap what you sow”
Grab me my arrow and bow

I’m not myself when I see flashing strobe lights
When it’s half past midnight
I know I don’t wanna fight
Even if I’m not right

It got me stiff, jerking, lying on the floor
Once it got me knocking in someone else’s door
Waiting for my turn to get sober
It rots the hell out of my core

I feel delighted in medicines and hospital beds
I wish I could just forget everything what’s inside my head
I wish I was lovable enough to be heard
Unknowingly dumbfounded me, unaware of what lies ahead

I am nothing but a lost traveler, yet I chose the path less traveled by.  
I trusted the process, and it led me to the road not taken.  

Life’s journey offers no shortcuts—each road we take comes with its own imperfections:  
a bumpy one, a straight one, a winding one, or perhaps one shrouded in uncertainty.