You make me go quiet.

i wanna forget sleep,
i want your hands on my chest,
i want to kiss you good morning,
then night,
maybe afternoon too,
i wanna go on a trip,
i want to sing our songs on the radio,
i want your hand in my hand,
i want to live peacefully and know
you won't be too far away from me,
i want to live loudly and know,
you will be way too close to me,
i want to love you all i can,
show it all i can,
live it all i can.

I'll sleep after that.

when people look at our hands,
im afraid of all they can see
of me.

what if they fear
i dont love you enough?
what if they see
all the love i feel for you?

i have to close the door
to their voyeurism.
i have to open it
for us to walk through.

hold my hand tighter,
im still afraid
of me.

i hope i look at you with as much love in my eyes
as you do

you are beautiful to me,
i wish i could explain it better,
make it prettier,

you are the brightest star
the warmest blanket,
the comfort of a soft bed after a tiring day,
the flowers blooming on my porch,
the shape hands make when they mean love.

i know if im beautiful to you,
i dont understand it but im sure it's true,
i love you.

i used to write about
living in lovers' chests,

hiding myself away
in the comfort of softer ribs,

not having to move a bit,
from bigger hands keeping me safe.


i dont want that with you.


make room for me
right beside your body,

i'll keep you in our arms
for as long as it takes to feel warmth,

i won't hide within,
i'll love you loud enough to fly

that's what i feel with you.

All along.
But it scares me shitless to go back
to the way i looked at you with softness in my eyes.
I walked all over myself so
You could breathe a little more
Took bites and bites out of my trust and flesh
So it all could stay palatable.
I know you wanna make it better,
I see you trying so hard but
We're both afraid of each other
And all the hurt our hands could collect
Without meaning to.
Sit down, lover,
Let's talk.

All along.
Bring you flowers and a kiss on the cheek,
Wash your dishes and steal your coats on the walk home alone,
Talk to you for hours and hours and hours in your kitchen
I doubted because,
I'm terrified of drowning you,
The bricks of my arms around your neck
Too heavy to stay afloat in all this ocean,
What if you told me to go home
without hugging me goodbye?

But i was allowed this much love
and than a little bit more and another,
and another and another
Because you loved me like this,
All along.