The beginning of the year was along time ago,
its nearly time for a new beginning
to the next year.
You say you weren't sure of a future with her,
now, and then
Could that be because ups and downs are like merrigorounds,
an endless cycle for which we never prepare.
Someone ridiculous once told me if your not sure then don't get into something your not entirely sure of,
suppose the rumor skipped your ear
or you will to hear.
But either way i feel
that's not the case here.
You once were sure,
of your feelings for her
so sure you thought up a future with her.
Life became a whirl
and put these two girls in a swirl
Through in: endless possibilities,
complexities
and free will for lease.
Do you understand this Miss,
do you see.
We feel the low of this unbearable load
because our love is a matter of fact.
The loss of a love was never meant to be taken well.
This is a lesson for me too
as i realize it was never her, only you.
In reverse its a curse
for me, without you is a future for two,
i am nothing to loose.
I am nothing but the other path, a possibility of miss because you chose Lizz,
You chose her before i ever walked on by
but that doesn't make me feel blue
because i will always love you.
Explaining myself seems pointless at this time,
but i will make a point.
"So yea",
I'll tell you that somewhere along the lines
a phobia was installed inside of me
Of which i was unaware of,
yet still bear.
I didn't know it to be this great,
until it proved to be a challenge of late.
It makes me incapable of seeing the point in commitment,
yet it outlines the defects of the means to commit, so naturally i still see it to be the pits..
The one thing in life i never wanna stop;
is to try.
My heart may seem big,
but really i think it has it in for me,
its no longer as strong and youthful as it once was. To love ONE in the more romantic sense
is the inclination of my hearts manifestation.
Did i want something more with you??
Yes, I'm afraid i did,
but was to ashamed to admit it,
even to me.
One of the many things i dislike in life is decisions, because i never know where to start.
I understand that you're left feeling apart,
so I'm taking an option from you
so that there is nothing to choose,
nothing to lose.
I'm going to take me from you.
I'll be like a pet, the one you've left to dwell amongst the Dead.
You'd still be left with all your memories
but nothing to touch when it all gets to much.
I'll be there for you in thought
but i refuse to apologies for cutting us short.
How does it feel to be alone,
You ask.
It feels like my entry and exit to this dimension, filled to the brim with emotion and tension.
I am not the voice inside your head that is but your own drowned out scream. I am not the illusion you dream of some nights I am the protruding arrow you forced through your heart.
I refuse to fight for someone who will never be mine. Go on and enjoy your fairytale, because the character, this person me. She's out.