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 Jan 2014 Yanavah Benettie
Alicia
You betrayed me.
As if I did you wrong and you
decided to pull back my arms,
tie my hands behind me, and I had no
choicebut to accept the dagger slowly
approaching my back.
You abandoned me.
I let other guys that I thought were worth
it fill this vacant space in my heart
while you were gone. And no matter how
long they were around, they could never give
me enough. Because of you,
no other man could suffice. No one was enough.
No man could ever compare to you.
We were madly in love and so sure that
we would be each other's always and forever,
but that's old news. I was convinced you were the
one because I've seen the truer side of you.
You even told me that you knew I was, too.
I know you better than anyone else.
No one can break you down the way that I do.
Searching for flaws but there were none to be found,
and now that has changed.
I have unveiled a monster that I
thought I would never see.
I was convinced you weren't too good to be true.
So as the dagger is nearing and I am
preparing for this pain I am forced to endure,
you tell me that you love, that you always will.
You tell me that I'm special and to never forget it.
But you're taking life away from the only one you'd go to war for.
So as your words cut deeper and my emotions are strained,
I try to remind myself of every moment we shared.
Maybe that will take away the pain.
It worked before.
Maybe I'm insane.
*121113
Twitter: @the_monAlicia
Audio: soundcloud.com/liciii/22-minutes
Burning papers and the words I wish you'd say
The smoke left piles of ash where I wish you'd stay
And the words left the universe in streams of goodbyes
Ravage from the core to my wrists and thighs
The had beens and never minds

Crescent moons wax and wane
I still can smell your scent through the window pane
And you told me to never come back
With all those thoughts I kept on my closet rack
They come to meet me at night, when I'm all alone
Just when I think I'm alright, they chill me to the bone

Now I'm out of time
I hope and pray
For some solace
To take me somewhere you'd never find
Through the day
I watch the hourglass
Ticking away by grains of sand
Don't need no heart, don't need no man.

And we walked to the fields
Instead of watching the baseball game
We kiss and you copped your feels
But it will never be the same

When your shy old dog let me stroke its fur
And the calm winter evenings froze us whole
Back in your car, before the love was hurt
I could feel you intertwining with my soul

Tell me I am still all you see
When you close your eyes
Tell me you still love me
Despite the hatred in your mind

Will you leave me, too?
Her name leaks truth,
an outer beauty oblivious to human eyes,
but a beauty within is found in the depths of her heart,
delve deeper into her mind and find a writer,
an artist careful of how she crafts her words,
a voice of obsessing lovers,
she creeps into the back of my mind.
what is so wrong about our names entwined within a love heart?
an ethereal sense of desire overwhelms me when I am with her,
wrong but right,
an angel in the eyes of many,
never to be forgotten...
I know I have messed up,
that my apologies are empty and placid,
I know sorry is not enough,
for the pain that I have visibly caused.

my reasoning is obscure,
for nothing within me is simple,
fleeting hearts are broken into fragments,
as my words were spoken.

I truly am in love with you,
weather you believe that this is true,
I know that the way it looks,
is that I have been unfaithful to you.

I know that I have lied,
my reasoning unrecovered,
I am sorry, for hurting you,
let me make amends?

allow me to explain my love,
to me this was no game...
I loved you whole heartedly,
without a glance or question.

so allow me to explain to you,
where my heart does truly lie,
because with you I am madly
truly
deeply...
in love...
this poem doesn't rhyme,
it doesn't really make sense to most people, but I hope it makes sense to you...
I hope someone makes you very happy...

— The End —