All I did was gaze at you
But you looked at me worried
And then you touched my face
And gently wiped the tears that had somehow managed to betray my eyes and run down my cheeks
' don't cry for me...everything is over I am in a better place' you said
And I believed you
Then you leaned down and looked at my lips
As if asking for my permission
I met you in the middle
and as if the stars colliding I felt every emotion
I felt like I was swimming in the excelsior of life and youth
We parted
And you gazed at me
And I knew right then and there
That
This was where I want to be forever.

Felt the ghost of your kisses on my neck
As I danced with your silhouette
To cigarettes after ***

It was late
But we were drunk on love' and wine
And
I laughed as your soft breath tickled my ear as you whispered sweet nothings

As the night sky got darker
You held onto me like you never wanted to let go
But when I tried to hold onto you
Your form combusted in a millon tiny fragments and dissipated into thin air
And I was left clutching onto emptiness

Eyes glazed over with dreams
I cried tears of remembrance
With a wine glass in my hand
I danced with your silhouette.

The iridescent ocean glimmered under the moon's soft glow
Our laughs laced with love and humor, mixed with the wet winds of the night as we raced the waves
Sand on our bodies , salt in our hair
And stars in our eyes
We looked at each other with enough love to make even the moon shy
Salty kisses and sandy touches were the only things on our minds
We were in a lavender haze under the midnight sky
We wished that the evil clock of time could stop in this very moment
Where,
It felt like maybe, just maybe, heaven was real.

The sun has been shining a little brighter and the flowers are starting to regain their glow, the rivers are de freezing and the snow is slowly melting
Your favourite lilies in my hand smell heavenly, how ironic
The mud beneath my knees is cold and I can feel your smile on it
I can't help but wonder
How are you? Are you happy?
Is it true what they tell me?
Are you truly in a better place?
Are you dancing with an angle and drinking elixir up there?
I hope you are
Down here though,
I still feel frozen in that cold December of last year
I still hear your mellifluous laugh in the cold midnight breeze
I still feel your presence on the vacant side of the bed
But, as the sun gets warmer and the flowers regain their colour
I think I will be fine;
Maybe,
I will even convince myself that you are indeed in a better place
And,
That maybe you miss me a little too.

The letters you used to send me initially,  were naughty and young
Thrown at my window or slid under my door
But somehow , someday,
They started being delivered by a man in a uniform
I remember
There was a blue roofed house on the postcard you sent me, it was filled with promises you couldn't keep
The letters, they told me stories
They talked about how you would like to live in a blue roofed house with me
Once, they told me how, when you get the chance to come back you'd hold me in your arms, love me the way I deserved and how you would show me the world
Another time, the letters reminded me of my past with you,
About the time when we used to walk hand in hand on the cobbled bridge at night where you told me your dreams
Then they reminded me of the time you kissed me on the roof of my house
But,
The unfulfilled promises, the sweet kisses and the memories are only ink and paper now, which sit inside a box on top of my cupboard
And,
The blue roofed house is a mere fantasy that rests on a paper beneath my pillow.

You took my hand and lead me to your car
The drive felt like forever and too short at the same time
We stopped near a beach and you got down and took me to a cliff near the beach overlooking a million and one stars
The view was breathtaking but I was too enticed by you to notice it
We sat down and gazed at the stars
And I asked you the one thing that was eating me since the time I layed my eyes on you
'What is the story behind the pain in your eyes?'

Everybody looked at her with admiration
She was mesmerisingly beautiful
They couldnt compare her to,
The ocean at night
or A deserted city at night
Neither they could compare her
To the aurora borealis
or the sunset from the top of a mountain
She was one of a kind
Some envied her,
Some looked at her with awe
But nobody actually bothered to see her
Nobody saw that ;
All the smiles on her lips
or the kindness in her words
were all a facade
They failed to see that her stormy grey eyes
Never sparkled
or that her smiles never reached her eyes
They failed to see that her kind soul
Was actually really broken
They failed to admire the most admirable quality of hers,
Bravery;
She hid her grief behind a mask of a smile
She mended others hearts ,
Even though hers was broken.

I took your hand and and made my way towards the dance floor
The whole while
We exchanged a thousand and one smiles
And our names
As if we didn't already know them
You told me how enchanting I looked in my peach dress
And made me feel like the most beautiful girl
The dance was nearing an end but I didn't wanna let go off of you yet
Somehow you read my thoughts
And you leaned down and whispered
'Am I allowed to take you some place special?'
I smiled and whispered back a yes

Sun kissed evening in Paris;
While drinking coffee in a quaint coffeehouse
With a candle on the table casting a soft glow
Everything feels so fast and so slow at the same time
Strangers;
Walking by , talking ,kissing,laughing

A small town early morning drenched in rain
Only a few walking on the cobbled roads
Sitting on the balcony of one of the many coloured houses
While the fisherman play a mellifluous tune on their harmonicas

On a champaign drunk cold midnight walk
With the deserted roads of the town bathed in a sweet hue of the moon's glow
While singing a 50s jazz tune with a slur
Hand in hand with a lover

Summer day on a countryside valley
Warm breeze filled with the scent of summer flowers
Soft sunrays kissing the skin
While bicycling around the town's stone fountains and statues

How I long to experience these simple pleasures of life
Where for a moment;
It feels like heaven on earth

I knew your eyes followed me
How could I not
Cause they were the most beautiful things id ever seen
They were the colour of autumn
I knew your eyes followed me the whole night
Not like predator eyeing it's prey
But
Like a person appreciating a sky full of stars

You told me how you went through so much pain in your small life of 18 years
You told me what your tiny 10 year old eyes witnessed
Something that no one should ever go through
You told me how your dad got in the claws of one of the worst sins
Alcoholism
And how that was the start of so many more sins
You told me how you saw your mom suffer with those tiny eyes
How you tried to protect your mom
At such a young age and succeeded
You told me how karma got your dad
You told me how you saw your mom fight thru the pain for 8 years and became the strongest person you knew
That night
You told me everything
Everything that was good and bad

You didn't see me at first
But as I got closer you saw me,
With a look of familiarity in your eyes
As if we'd know each other forever
I walked closer and smiled
You still looked shocked
As if I hadnt already caught you staring at me throughout the whole night
I stood in front of you
And whispered a small hey
And you looked down as if shy
And whispered a small hey back
I didn't know what else to say
So I asked you to dance with me
You looked up  
And the light bounced off of your sharp features making your beautiful face glow
And then something happened
Something that made my heart skip a beat
You smiled
A smile so beautiful that even made the enchanting northern lights timorous
A smile that touched your eyes
Made them glow
And you said yes

We roamed the streets of rome
With the ancient sunlight of the city hitting your porcelain skin in the most perfect angles
We bicycled our way  around the
stone fountains and you smiled at me
As the wind played with your ***** blonde weaves
We ran hand in hand around the city
With cobbled roads under our feet and
Vines on the coloured houses intertwined with our fingers
As our laughter got mixed with the italian tunes playing on the street;
We sat in pretty outsides of small coffeehouses enjoying the city thru our taste buds
As night fell upon the enchanting city
We talked about anything to everything
We sat on a cold bench at the crack of midnight
With you playing with my hair
And gazing at me like the beauty of the city didn't suffice your eyes
I think I fell in love with you then
We were strangers in a strange city
But we didn't care
We didn't care that we met just a week ago
We didn't care how we didn't know how 'us' was gonna work
We didn't care that maybe we won't see each other after tomorrow
Maybe destiny will make us cross paths in imminent future
Or maybe not
But
We still didn't care
Because
We wanted to live in a make believe haven
Even if it was not forever.

Let me tell you how
I saw those eyes when people were busy calling the owner a freak
I saw a storm light up in the autumn
I saw a river flow from  those eyes
When they thought no one saw
I saw the autumn leaves losing colour
But there was this one time when I was too mesmerised by those eyes they caught mine
And
I knew it was too late

An euphonious voice flowed through from my window
Your beautiful voice mixed with the tunes of a piano
Came to me with the summer breeze and wrapped around my soul like a warm hug
A tear slipped down my eye
When I recognised the familiar melody
It made me question fate
Why is it so cruel?
How can we be so near yet so far?
4 steps and I could be in your arms
4 steps out of my house and I could taste the sweet taste of your lips
4 steps and I could forget about all my troubles and be in my safe haven
But
I am slightly stuck
I promise I'll come
But my dad's at the door
And some are against our love
But I promise I'll come
Ill sneak out when the owls are calling
And the moon's out to witness our love
Promise me
Youll meet me at the freeway
Cause I can't do this alone
....
I am slightly stuck
But I promise I'll come
Promise me you'll too

One night
With the retro colours illuminating the walls of our school stadium
Everyone dazed under the mysteriously spiked fruit punch and
High on the music of our last school prom
I saw you,
Standing alone in a corner
Looking like a fallen angel
Lost among the humans
I decided to take faith in my hands and made my way towards you

Our eyes crossed but our paths never did
Passing by you
Our eyes met
And I thought
Do I ever cross your mind
The way you do mine
Do you ever think about what's behind the grays of my eyes like I do about you..

The dew kissed grass weaved through my fingers,
The sunrays from the horizon knitted gold threads in my midnight black hair,
The morning spring air wrapped around my lungs and it felt like I breathed for the first time
The dew drops fell from the leaves and caressed my face
The sky smiled at me as the night sky's blanket was folded back
The birds chirped their sweet mellifluous as if welcoming me to their humble abode
The sun kissed peaches dropped from the trees
As if,
Begging me to kiss them and wrap my tongue around their sweet taste
The flowers opened their petals to look at the one who invaded their land
The squirrels ran around me playing
And I;
Felt 'one' with them
As they accepted me as their own .

The quite in my room was deafening ;
The portrait of the French lady on my wall stared at me with sympathy
The yellow half torn run down pages wept tears of black ink on the floor
My worn down knotted black weaves stroked my face as rivers of tears ran down my pink tainted cheeks
As I lay on my wrinkled cream sheets
The sky cried outside my window
Covering everything in a grey hue
Adding to my gloom
I felt helpless ,
As a scream of despair got stuck in my throat
I cried , screamed , thrashed in my sleep that night
As the morning dawned
And the first ray of the sun kissed my tear streaked cheeks
The birds chirped a mellifluous tune
And the sweet earthy scent of rain covered mud filled my room with a pleasant mood
As I layed on my bed taking in a new morning
I felt like a new being
I got up
Picked up the pages covered in black
Ran a brush through my knotted weaves
Washed my face of off its remnants from yesterday
Determined to not be trapped in a cage of despair again
I started anew ;