Because i'd rather avoid you, delete you, ignore you
because the last thing I wanted to was to find myself in the middle of the night before a full day of MEChA activities and workshops writing you a ******* tragic melancholic pathetic love poem
which makes me angry and sad at the same time
talk about intersectionality
because it's hard to survive
and I want to live
and feel loved
and I feel you take me for granted
and in order to honor the love I have for you
I need to let you go
until I can love you as a friend
you taught me to love you without limits
and that's so hard to unlearn
because I learned to wait, to listen, to save, to not expect, to serve, to accept
because I refuse to go on and pretend this love doesn't exist
because I can't be your best friend
comadre, sister or whatever the ******* call it
because you make me feel little, ugly, betrayed, silenced, guilty, unwanted, dependent, anxious,
and because you always expect a reason from me
mientras como de tu plato hondo de soledad y silencio
because I want you to cry like I cried
feel what I felt
believe what I believed
know what I once thought I knew
because I need me whole
and you taught me to love me in fragments.
Because I love you, and love like that is so hard to unlearn. Any theories for that?