Everything is falling apart,
Everyone is falling apart,
And I am trying so hard to hold it all together,
To keep my fingers from slipping,
Letting it all topple over the edge,
Into the unknown.
Everybody I love is leaving me,
Physically or emotionally,
One by precious one,
And soon it will be me,
Myself,
and I.

The thought of another person walking out of my life,
Another dying leaf falling from the tree,
Makes my chest so tight,
I can barely breathe,
As if they have all kicked me down
And are pressing their feet against my chest
Until finally I break.
The doomsday clock is ready to strike twelve
In my life,
Soon I have to start another journey
To get myself on track
But I'm not ready
And I never will be.
I am terrified,
The last ounce of control I've
Managed to cling on to for so long,
Pretending to be happy while I'm dying inside
Was the last defence I had to survive,
But now I am vulnerable,
Past the point of no return,
History.
Finished.
*Dead.