I'm happy and you're sad
I'm smiling and you're faking smiles
I'm laughing and you're crying
I'm contented and you're lost
I'm complete and you're broken

I left and you let me
I was a fool to believe that you would chase me
But you didn't hold my hand tight as if our hands are not fit together
I was a fool to believe that you will hug me
But you just look at me with a blank emotions
I was a fool to believe that you will kiss me
But you didn't and just sigh
I was a fool to believe that you would say my name and get angry
But you said your last goodbye and walk away
I was a fool to believe that after our path seperated,
I thought I will be happy
smiling
laughing
contented
and complete

But who the **** am I fooling?
I feel like a glass broke into pieces
I feel like a piece of paper slit into two
I feel like a wilted leaves
I feel like a snow falling on the ground
I feel like an empty jar

I'm tired
I'm tired of convincing myself I'm over
I'm tired of fooling myself
I miss you and It's killing me
I want that arms around my body again
I miss those hands touching my hips
That broad chest to lean my head on
That **** lips whispering on my ears
That manly voice saying my name
Yes, I want all of that
I want you back

Only you
No one else
Just me and you being together
But I was late
Too late to realize that I'm a fool for not keeping you
Too late to realize that I'm a fool for letting you go
Too late to realize that I'm a fool

I used to question life
Like why do I have to feel this pain?
Why do I have to feel the shattered pieces of my heart?
Why life ain't treating me good?  

And I used to question my own existence,  my own life
Why I had this life?
Why am I here?
Why life is so unfair?

And when life question me
Why do you hate yourself?
Why do you keep pushing people away?
Why do you hate life?

I used to question if things could get worse and now I wonder if my life can get any better.

They said pain is temporary
But I can feel my bones
disintegrating at a rapid pace
the more I think about your goodbyes
you keep sending me.

I can feel my blood
entering the veins to my brain
like a bullet train
the moment you wanted me
out of your life.

I can feel my breathe
reaching an unsteady,  
erratic tempo as my pulse flutters
in my heart
the moment you said
you love someone else.  

It has been 6 months exactly
since the the day you turned around
and never looked back.  

But the pain is still here.  
It's still destroying the **** out of me.
It's as if I would run out of breath
and collapse any moment.

Tell me.

How do you **** a feeling?