You used to give me butterflies
Now you give me anxiety

I used to smile just thinking about you
Now it fills me with anger

You used to make me cry with joy
Now they're just tears of sadness

You used to be my reason to stay strong
Now you're the reason I relapse

I used to imagine a bright future
Now all seems dark

You used to be the calming voice inside my head
Now its the one that screams that loudest

You used to always make me feel better
Now you're why I hurt so bad

You mended my heart and made me feel whole
Now you've broken it and left me in pieces

I used to write love poems about you
*Now the only ones I could write are of pain

it's just so strange
he used to love me
and now he's just
a stranger who happens
to know all my secrets

I am in the morning
I stared at my ceiling, unable to sleep, like always,
I think of you and my eyes start to become teary,
remembering those things that had happened between us
just breaks me down everytime, without fail
we stopped talking and i miss you so much
everyday i hope for you to text me saying a simple hi
but nothing ever appeared in my phone

3am in the morning
i hugged my bear, thinking its you, still unable to sleep
i went on twitter and stalked you because that's all i can do
since i've no courage to text you
you mentioned with other girls and i could feel the ache
in my broken heart
i wonder if you replay all of the things you
ever did to me, to anyone else
tears start to roll down my cheeks, i miss you so much

5am in the morning
i re-read the sweet conversations we had had wished
we're still like those times
but i guess things are not meant to last forever,
you left me and we drifted apart,
but although we stopped talking,
i still think of you everytime,
i just hope you think and even love me, because i still do

i watched how your messages,
became slower
and slower.
you stopped replying.
i stopped making you smile like i used to,
i watched how you stopped laughing at the cute things i did,
like;
biting my lip,
leaning my head to one side,
and, talking in a cute voice to you.
i watched how you hooked to her.
i watched how your tone, changed;
completely.
i watched you,
slowly,
leave.

you fill me with happiness
something i cant do to myself

your touch intoxicates me
making me crave for more

your lovely eyes
entice me
leaving me
speechless

your laugh
that angelic smile of yours
drowned me in buckets
of pure happiness

i could use more words
to convey my feelings for you
but no combination of 26 letters
would ever be enough

and then it hit me,
he's going to marry a girl
they're going to cuddle on the sofa
watching scary movies until 3am
while she falls asleep in his arms
they'll go on cute dates
and holidays in the sun together
he's going to tell her that he loves her
they're going to have kids
and wave them off to school one day
they're going to happily grow old together
and that girl wont be me

i never believed people
when they said how much it hurts
to have your heart broken
until
it was me
lying on my bedroom floor
with mascara running down my face
gasping for air
crying
so dont you dare say
you have never killed anyone
because that night
*you killed me

i know
i know i should
move on
or at least
try to verge away
from the idea that you
will ever come back again
but there is still
that little part
of my heart
telling me that
you will maybe return
and that tiny
fragment of
false reassurance
is all i need
to stay clung onto
the idea that maybe
just maybe
you will come back
and be mine again

and i had to develop
new feelings for the person
who just entered
my horrible life,
because it was once you,
who i gave my heart too,
but all you did,
was break my heart,
and he's the one who's trying to fix it,
but i dont know if ill love him,
because the feelings i have for you,
are totally different than
what i have for him,
because deep in my heart,
i know i still love you,
and that *****.

he loves her
she refuses to accept herself
she loves who he is
he despises it

so much difference between them both
but they're together nonetheless
"we have so many differences,
we can't repel"

to me, it's more than that, so much
more.
those words hit me so hard
i didn't expect them, so unpredictable
i fell for you hard, real hard
it was a mistake as maybe you'll leave
one day and i'll get hurt
but trust me, it was the best mistake
i've ever made

and right now
this very moment i'm missing you a whole lot
it hurts me
i long for the next time i see you again
i crave for your skin to be on mine again
i crave for you

fell in love and i can't get out of it

if you ask me there's a moment in everybody's life
when you're helpless
just helpless with hope and trust
and then something happens
something too big to understand
and then everything changes forever
if you ask me
you start out with
goodness so true and clear
you wont even know its there
because that's the way it is when you don't know anything
but then bad new begins to arrive

You know how,
people say that
at 3 am,
the demons and ghosts
wake up,
and watch you sleep?
maybe the demons
that actually wake up,
are the ones
that live inside you.
and that's why
you breakdown,
and everything comes out.

its supposed to be,
me and you
not you and her.
because remember,
you fell in love with me
that night.
you told me you loved me
every 10 minutes,
to make sure I didn't forget.
you burned your hypnotizing words
into my eyes,
now they are all i see.
nothing is going right.
you are supposed to be here
not there.
you should be talking to me
it kills me knowing that,
you said you fell in love with me
then you left me.
i just want you back,
i know it'll never happen.
for some reason i still have
this little patch of hope that you will.
please just come back,
and stop these tears.
call me ***,
and soothe me
with your words.
please come back.
please.

we don't have a "normal" relationship
we tease each other
we play hit each other
we call each other names
but underneath that
anyone can see how much we care
because if they listen closely
to every joking "shut up"
that leaves our mouths
there is an "i love you"
hidden right inside it

and his mouth was on mine
gental,
like he was afraid to break me,
but passionate,
like he wanted me

and that,
was the last time i ever,
ever,
felt loved

i will love you forever
every second of every day
and even if at some point
for whatever reason
i hate you, i will still love you
for whatever reason
you leave me, i will still love you
in fact, i cannot imagine
a single thing in this world
that could ever make me
stop loving you

maybe from time to time
i will, run through your head.
and you'll call me, just to make sure i'm okay.
Of course i will lie and tell you "i'm fine"
that's what i've done since the first day we met,
you always hated it when i was down.

one day you'll realize, that this is not what you want.
you'll call me and they will tell you,
i am no longer alive.
You'll cry every night until you decide to join
the love of your life.

now we're both physically dead, but we've never felt
more alive so deep inside.
i'll look at you like the first day and suddenly,
we find home in each others arms.
because nothing has ever felt that good.

sometimes things hurt and sometimes they hurt and sometimes they hurt. I feel like there's a constant struggle between romanticizing pain and having compassion for it and a thing I'm starting to learn is that there's isn't different ways to love, when you love someone and they come off as feeling differently for you I think it's just because you expect them to match your feelings, without letting yourself breathe and understand that the only feelings that are ever gonna be felt are the ones in which you perceive and when you start to settle down or maybe go insane (however you wanna look at it) you start to see that the feeling in which you perceive is "the feeling," it's love, and the love can't do anything but be free, you can not keep it in a cage no matter how hard you try, your love cage is imaginary and it's going to be really really hard to get the person you have feelings for locked inside of it with you because it's not actually there, so instead of getting jealous of the person you love doing whatever they want with whoever they want, understand that happiness is beautiful and seeing them happy is all you really want, sometimes it feels like you need to let things go but the sound of that is never gonna feel the same as letting things be free ((mg))