You reached for me tonight

I don't think I'll ever be able to tell you how badly I wanted your hand last night.
When you gripped your pillow so tightly before you closed your eyes.
I squeezed mine back.

Or the night before when you held up your hand with that look you do
Showing off your pretty red fingertips, painted all on your own and perfectly imperfect

Or the night when it was all you could use when the tissues ran out but your tears wouldn't stop.  

I've never wanted anything more.

And if fate ever decides to find your palm in mine please forgive me for holding on so tightly.

Stars are stars
That is all.
Oh they're pretty, but pointless
We stand in awe
Of gas and heat and specks of dust
Stars destroy, they just consume everything around them,
Imploding when there is nothing left.

Stars are stars
And when they are gone
They are but a shadow that lingers to remind scientists  an infinite distance away
Of what a   big ball of bright that dark little dwarf used to be

Stars
I cringe when you look up at the stars and see so much more in them
Beauty and hope and God and good.
You smile up at them
And knowing if your smile is all a star is useful for  
Then I will keep quiet
Keep  looking up with you
Keep my telescope under my bed.
I know what they really are
But I'll never tell you

She stepped out into the daylight after days of darkness
"It's not too bright," she'd say
"But it's too bright for me."
She put her eyes to the ground.


I stepped out into the daylight, having only known passing shade
And saw the sun.
She had her head down.

The evening's coming.

I stare at that green bubble.
Your words always came so easily. So quickly.
It was as though each letter chose the path of least resistance from your heart and your fingertips
And never had time to waste getting ******* in your brain

My thumb hasn't moved. Tell her. TELL HER. You're going to regret it.

Tell her about how you kiss her photo when her lips are miles away hoping she'll feel it if you close your eyes real hard.

Tell her about how you see girls in the public gardens and imagine how happy she must look in her sundress, surrounded by the flowers she raised from seeds, how proud. How she must shine

Tell her how badly you want to kiss away her tears, how you would never let another evil thing hurt her if only she was here.

Tell her it's going to be okay. Tell her

It's been an hour.

My thumb is still taunting me over that ******* "H".

My thumb's been broken before. "Hey, what's going on?" It took me a half hour of staring and second guessing before my thumb found and pressed send. Your thumbs were more agile than mine.
How many times since have my fingertips found those keys so easily with you since then.

It's an odd malady, to have once been able to glide across the keyboard, my thumb knew stories. My thumb knew jokes.  

All it seems to know anymore is one worthless phrase.  I've worn out the letters, and it's welcome on your phone. Still it's all my thumb wants to type.

I'm sorry

It's been twenty minutes.
And I'm still staring at the last words you sent me
Floating in that little green bubble.

My thumb is broken again

It's been hovering over the "H" but I can't seem to get it to go.
You've done this before! Come on, man. Just say it

"Hey there :)"   No.
"Hallooo" NO.
"Hola senorita...." What? No
"Hi, so I haven't been able to stop thinking about you and I love your smile and miss seeing it and since you've been gone all I can do to fall asleep is keep a glass next to my bed, and a bottle and
I know you hate when I drink, I know but it's the only thing that makes my mind float the way you used to before I closed my eyes and it's the only thing that stops me from waking up hoping to hear you breathing and even the pounding in my temples the next morning reminds me of you shaking me straight and saying I told you so and so I cherish it. Okay?  Anyway...ummm...yeah I hope you're doing okay. Are you?...."

No.

I wonder what she's doing. I don't think I'll ever know. My thumb is broken again.