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Dec 2016 · 386
unfinished (for now)
wounded words Dec 2016
1.Writer’s Block: “the condition of being unable to think of what to write or how to proceed with writing”
2.Writer’s Block: “a consoling phrase to get sympathy from others, who actually don’t give a (****) about your editor’s deadlines”

I’ve told you before I’m a night owl
It’s the longest part of the day and it was when I got to be loved by you.
I always wanted to try new things with you, but I didn’t have a headboard.
Maybe that was the whole problem.
I told myself the puppet strings would guide me,
But that’s not their purpose.

Where you’re going I can’t follow you
take me where your ocean finds it’s blue
But where you’re going- I can’t follow

i’ve sat here so many ******* times with a pen in my hands and
for the past 2 years i’ve been writing with invisible ink
They say writer’s block is temporary and as I’ve learned,
Everything is-
And I’m sorry.

To Whom It May Concern: the next 10 (?) parts never ******* mattered (besides you)
Sometimes the editor won’t be able to see the piece for what it really is and you see deadlines are a funny thing-
When you finally reach them,
they’re declared dead

But like they say,
Love is colder than death.
Jan 2015 · 473
1 Kill Limit
wounded words Jan 2015
They say deer only wander a few square miles their entire lives
And I am realizing now we are like that too-
You are like that.

You always said I had the eyes of the doe and maybe that's why you can't bring yourself to look me straight in the face during hunting season

Tell me why we are drunk on the idea that love is a game
To love and be loved
(To **** and be killed)

Every time I see you I must run before the shot is fired or
you will catch me
you will catch me
you will catch me

I'm running faster and faster until I can't tell which way is which
And you are hungry because your last catch just didn't do it for you

Tell me why am I the one

I'm convenient.

And right as you pull the trigger
I escape down the hill
I am gone
I am gone
I am gone

And I bet you didn't see the car coming by in time to block the bullet from ricocheting back into your chest
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
Untouchable
wounded words Oct 2014
You are the sun
And I am the moon.
I will chase you around this world for eternity-
*But you will never be caught
Aug 2014 · 665
Triple pleas for bad habits
wounded words Aug 2014
Standing under the red oak tree and the leaves are falling for every sin we've ever committed
And if after 3 hours if  they are still falling don't be worried- for they will come down the rest of our lives and that is just how it will be

We can blame it on the whiskey,
we can blame it on the loneliness, we can blame it on the wonder but we cannot blame it on ourselves

I know
I can't  I can't I can't dance with you and here I am with your hands on my hips and your lips on my neck
Music replaces my thoughts and my worries are shaken out with every step I take and
you are mine you are mine
you are mine

I am not in love with you I never was I know someone who is
She always will be
Please go to her I am not her I never will be

I lost myself in you for 2 hours too long and you are running too fast for me to catch up

Please
slow down slow down slow down
we are causing a scene and I am notorious for bringing the world crashing down

Smoke trails behind you as you run into the desert and as you look back I know I have committed the
worst crime of all

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry
I must leave but before I forget:

I never wanted to be the reason behind that cigarette
Aug 2014 · 3.1k
The love that never was
wounded words Aug 2014
I don't know what love is and I'm not sure I'll ever know but your name is burning in the back of my throat and
I want you to take my body and rip my chest apart because it would feel better than the absence of your words
when we speak but nothing is said.

I couldn't tell you why I left because I'm still trying to figure that out and I'm losing you when I never had you.

I'm lying here in this bed thrashing where you would be and I don't know what to do with myself

I need you to say you'll calm me down but how is that possible if our skin has never even met
I don't know how long I can romanticize 189 miles and you're fading faster than the early morning fog and I don't know how to stop it

There's a lot of ******* things I don't know- but I know I don't want to go on with out you.

What have you done to me
Feb 2014 · 468
Home Is (Multiple) You(s)
wounded words Feb 2014
Don't ask me why my hands are shaking when
the rain just put out the last
of my cigarettes and i can't find my
keys because i misplaced them while looking for  the dark green lighter i found last night
in the wet grass of the house you said goodbye in.
I'm becoming shorter of breath the
longer I stand here
and these cobblestone skies are closing in on me and God knows this is the last place
I want to be stuck
Pick any house on the map
and I'll tell you what's happened there
and how many beer cans I crumpled
in the musty garage
or how many times my hand has grasped the doorknob of a bedroom
I'll tell you that the yellow house on the left side of 163rd had me laughing until I no longer
thought I was in my body
and I'll tell you that
the yellow house on the left side of 196th
had me wishing I never existed
at all
Inside white walls I took too many hits and
the smoke built up on the walls so thick
I had no choice but to stay
the night in your arms
In between wooden panels and a seemingly impossible staircase you kissed me
up
every
step
and going back down seemed like a sin
i absolutely
could not commit.
By now I am in an all too familiar place
to be feeding off old habits
so I break away from those bitter lips
and I run out to the same woods
I've seen a million times-
And I know that this is what makes this home
Feb 2014 · 539
Can't Make You Stay
wounded words Feb 2014
Your name is pulsing  through my veins but
I've lost the ability to bring it to my lips-
ten thousand people wouldn't care to say
it right out loud and
I'm watching you walk away knowing
my life could be so much different
**if I could just ******* say your name
Jan 2014 · 856
How It Goes
wounded words Jan 2014
I don't know what I'm saying but it's 2:04 am
and I just dry swallowed the last
of my sleeping pills.
I'm not sure if I want you here
but I'm not sure I don't
I wake up with glimpses of you when
I close my eyes
And even though I think I
I left you in my dreams
You're here-
Sometimes I wish you would stay there
because I can't stand waking up and feeling
your absence when I never had you
in the first place.
I'm driving in circles and
screaming out your name
FEEL IT
JUST FEEL IT
Tell me if you thought of me when you saw
your father smoking his cigarette and
if you laughed when your glass hit the floor
or if you stomped all over the broken pieces
until they became a part of the ground.
We're lying in the basement and
I'm unfamiliar with the anatomy of
falling for someone
but I can hear the way your breath
is shaking and the uncertainty
is strangling me
Dec 2013 · 687
Fully Hollow
wounded words Dec 2013
They say I'm too young to be this full
of the world
but really, I have no room left
because you see
I fall in love a thousand times a day-
I saw you double take the leaf getting
crushed under your fathers feet and
I think you felt sorry for it
The breath cut short before a laugh
And the quivering of a mouth when you don't know whether you should laugh or cry.
You might as well slam me into a brick wall when
I hear someone sing
and today I walked by a man with a guitar and
felt the wind get knocked out of me//
it was the most heart wrenching thing-
he had your hands
and lately I've noticed
when you see me you no longer have
to catch your breath and if you want me to say
i'd do anything to make you stay
you'll be waiting
the rest of your life
Dec 2013 · 1.4k
If I Had A Lover
wounded words Dec 2013
I would tell you I can't go to bed because
hell is loving you in my sleep and
waking up alone
and that i'd rather never sleep again
than to live through that

I would tell you that every time I open my mouth
I want you to shut it
with yours

I would tell you that you have
the kind of glance that could crack
a ribcage
and make it feel
like heaven

And I know it sounds cliché but
your breath is the water that floods
into the roots of my stomach and grows
the daisies being kissed
back into you

If I had a lover I would call these
nauseating churns
"butterflies"

If I had a lover I would think of this
infection in my head
as "you're the one I can't live without"

If I had a lover I would tell you
being lovesick
doesn't actually make me sick

And if I had a lover
I would need to learn not to **** myself
in the process
Nov 2013 · 658
Forest Fire
wounded words Nov 2013
I remember sitting there
with your hand
resting upon my leg  and
the warmth beneath it
was enough
to heat the whole city
And I thought to myself
this is it, this is it, this is it

**that was it
Nov 2013 · 732
Here Is Your Answer
wounded words Nov 2013
I'm finding it rare to breathe
with ease and you see
it's nothing new-
  my days with you have flooded into every dream and every word that I speak.
I've never been good at math and I hate
that I love it in the way
the curve of your back
is congruent
to the angle of your mouth
and it fits perfectly
into the ellipses of my beaten lips
r u n n i n g
only gets you so far when the world
is round-
I'm sorry I have to leave
because my words don't form
when those rousing fingers
are tracing secrets into my thighs
and you don't know this but
writing is the world that wholly
consumes me
and maybe it's kind of
an esoteric thing-
But I must live without love
because they say
if you can't be the poem,
B E  T H E  P O E T
besides,
haven't you heard
all the greatest loves
are the unfinished ones?
Oct 2013 · 766
Esoteric Comforts
wounded words Oct 2013
Here comes the feeling I thought
I'd forgotten
Steadily rolling in with gray skies
and crunchy leaves
My hands they shake
My head it spins
Engulfed In a circle of nights I don't
want to end-
but the moon is always here
A clear head is something  out
of a fairy tale
And nothing is stopping me from picking up my poison
and back tracking
I know everything you don't want me to and
you make hell
feel
like
home
Welcome back depression-
it's been awhile
Oct 2013 · 637
What They Say
wounded words Oct 2013
2:52 am and I confuse streetlights
for the sun
This cold breeze violently rattling
my bones is that of Sunday mornings and fever dreams
I can barely make out the outline of
your cracked lips in the foggy haze of
that old basement
but it's the only permanent thought
in my head
that doesn't **** me
One after one
I drink you down until I am far enough
away from my mind to let go
They say night is for the lonely-
and as I watch you smile and walk away,
I remember why
Oct 2013 · 869
The Nameless Riot
wounded words Oct 2013
awoke with a sneeze as desperate eyes shut
against the dust floating in through rays of sunlight
I can't quite tell if the sweet smell of summer is still trapped in the jar beside my bed but I'm praying the air Is anything but crisp
your voice is straining through the crack under
the door and your words are burning a hole straight through my head
Im staring ahead passing the only places I've ever known
and everyone knows it's not because I am strong

I lost you somewhere between wrong notes and dark hallways-
our love is falling down the staircase like cigarettes and rain and
I don't know when I'll be seeing you next
as I hear it's better that way
But I'm searching for familiarity everywhere that I go and if I find it in your eyes tonight-
please don't make me live without you

Jet Black night and Saturated thoughts break into riots on the street
I'm revolting the comfort of your mind and Im tearing away from the smell of you still lingering in the wreck-
If anonymity was still in the dictionary
Oct 2013 · 442
Nothing
wounded words Oct 2013
I am to you one of the hundreds of leaves you pass by on the sidewalk
I am to you a second glance at something halfway wonderful
Never will i be a line in your favorite song
Never will I be the book you don't want to end
And Never will I be enough
Not
   Even
       For
    m
    y
    s
    e
    l
    f
Sep 2013 · 1.1k
Canals Of My Head
wounded words Sep 2013
191 days later and not one goes by without
a hint of you floating through my mind
You still swim around the canals of my head and you're tearing at the walls but there's no way out
I can't tell if This is heaven or hell but
I hear your voice in everyone around me and I feel your grasp with every brush of a shoulder
I ran away every chance you gave me
it's what I do best
but I find myself running towards you in my sleep
And I know you love the chase but everyone knows you can be lazy
I'm wondering what you're doing and if I ever creep into your thoughts but I know you've  left the yellow brick road long ago
Sep 2013 · 787
Where Are You Now
wounded words Sep 2013
I'm lying here all alone
and it's 2:06 am and I'm thinking of the way your eyes get wider when you see me
I thought about kissing you once and it's never left my mind
When I think of you I think of warm blankets and tense arms
Of the field of freckles spreading across your nose and the walls between us
I don't know why you're always on my mind but it seems you're never going to leave
The last time i saw you, you were wearing the smile I thought was mine and I haven't seen you since
I can't make you miss me and that's the worst part
Sep 2013 · 820
Moonlit Love
wounded words Sep 2013
You clutch my hand
Until my finger tips turn white
with your
Never-let-me-go grasp,
As we stumble along we pray to god
We don't step on a crack
Because the last thing we need
Is to break our mothers' back

I'm falling into you falling into me
And I can't read the flashing neon sign
Standing right in front of me
And when I close my eyes all I see
Is you tracing my lips with
Endless smoke rings floating
From yours like a thousand secrets

I see you in the purple haze, the dimming glow
Of 2 am and bad *****
Spilling out of your mouth like the words
You keep locked up during the day
And only when you lie on the ground
And look to the stars
Do they Come pouring
out of your tattered mouth

You slam into me and press our lips together
Under the fading yellow moon
Who by now knows our secret
So well

Your kisses tastes like friday nights and loneliness-
But you only know me at night
wounded words Sep 2013
Three years later
And I still can't bring myself
To  walk that dirt driven path

With every secret,
Every whisper you spoke
Shoved under cracked rocks
And faded footsteps
Waiting to resurface

I'm half stumbling my way
To your name
And  You see,
this whiskey
It tastes like hell
But I can't help sipping
The memory of your lips

You are the rain
That drenches my paper heart
Just enough to tear
With one touch
Aug 2013 · 640
Cold Cement Wall
wounded words Aug 2013
You see I haven't wanted to write
Since you've been gone

You had the kind of glance that could
Break a neck
And with that you dug into my soul
And drew words out of my lifeless chest

And now I am sitting here
Against your cold cement wall
And I don't know where to start

I find myself holding onto the phantom hand
That had so often found a home
Resting on my leg
I look for your ocean lined eyes
Everywhere I go
And I think of you
With everything I do

It's not fair that you're gone
And I have to live
But
S l o w l y
I
Think
I'm
Forgetting
How..
Aug 2013 · 727
1:53 AM
wounded words Aug 2013
I'm longing to find a home
In your arms
Because its 1:53 am
And I'm lying here all alone

Wondering whose name is floating
Through your mind
And if the cigarette
Hanging from your lips
Is for her or your demons
Aug 2013 · 626
Two Moons
wounded words Aug 2013
2:05 AM
And  I  am craving everything
That you are

I am not sure why but it seems
I cannot rid the image from
My mind of your
Hands tracing endless secrets
Into her legs
Or the way the freckle above your lip
Disappears as you smile

I look at you and I see
A thousand words scrawled
Across your body

A thousand messages I want to
Spend my days deciphering  
And my nights absorbing

I look at you and I see the moon
But I am dark too
And there are not two moons

She is your sun
Aug 2013 · 687
Untitled
wounded words Aug 2013
Sunk onto those  wooden steps
The ones with dust so thick
You could drown

Feeding on old habits
I wondered where you were
And whose lips you were kissing
Since you last told me you missed me

They say you spend your whole life
Trying to rewrite the first poem
You've ever loved
Maybe that's why
I've been searching for someone
With smile lines in the same place
Around their eyes
And a breathing pattern
like a song

A cigarette for your thoughts
And a flame for your demons
A breeze for your tears
And a hammer for your heart
Aug 2013 · 600
You & Love
wounded words Aug 2013
I don't really know a lot about you or love
But I know the way that you look at me
Could pierce a brick wall
And I've noticed how your smile
Matches the curve of your back
I feel like I'm suffocating
And I heard that's a lot like love
Jul 2013 · 1.4k
To Whom It May Concern
wounded words Jul 2013
An ode to all the boys I have loved,
even just for a night.
The words would never escape my weathered lips, but loving you on those nights was more
than just a trip.

Pt. 1
you were my first kiss,
the first boy i felt i have ever missed.
like most people since,
the night our lips first met
was also the last.
with shaking hands you gave to me
those half melted chocolates and that
stupid teddy bear
your mother helped you buy at the store.
with nothing to give
i leaned in my 12 year old head-
you half missed
and ran giggling away

Pt. 2
you were the one who made me stand tall
but i was too afraid to fall
the only boy whose words were true
i almost let myself love you
wrapped in your arms
the world could not exist
we made plans & plans
so naturally i let
my bad habits and gypsy soul
take me away
to darker days

i can't remember the color of your eyes
and it kills me
2 years later i saw you again
it was dark in a room of a hundred people
and unknowingly i stood next to you
you talked of old times & i swallowed your words
along with that cinnamon poison.
we danced until oblivion knocked us down
and on that floor
i opened hell's door
exploring your mouth
like i've been lost for too long
your hands did the same
to my 17 year old body
and it brought to us notorious fame
i told myself it was just unfinished business
but really I needed to relive your kiss

Pt. 3
stuck in my old ways
i craved an escape
you were there that night
and my morals took flight
dancing in the dark
my mind fell apart
and i found myself kissing you
like i had been missing you
my messy eyes and liquid lies
told me i might as well die

Pt. 4
with you i tried again
to let myself go
your words seemed so true
but never did i know they could sting so cruel
in that old bed
with our old friends
you showed me what butterflies were.
drowning out the other ones
your shirt left sight
and you gave me another bite
too fast it seemed
i stopped to plead
because this is the first time
we've met
and your lies told me
you wanted to know me.
alone in the car
we kissed again
i never knew that would be
the last time
i felt i could fly

Pt. 5
to me you felt like a dream
every summer with you was atop lake serene
never sober
never closer
those drunken kisses
got me high every time
but i still wanted to climb
burned by the others
my heart still fluttered
i poured my soul out to you
over my grandma's old *****
and you never got my last name
for i feared one day you would say it in vain
that last summer i saw you
you told me you loved me-
i've haven't seen you since

Pt. 6
for now i almost have no words
you threw my heart at such a curve
always, from afar
i wanted you near my heart
and one day you made your way there
but let's be fair
you were drunk
and your mouth how it stunk
you were on those substances i could smell
you saw stars in my eyes
so i led you towards my sky
you kissed me then and there
i loved you like air was a foreign concept
and thought how wonderful it would be
to be the one you were thinking of

Pt. 7
I found you lurking at the bottom
of the ocean and I  let myself drown just
so I could kiss you but
they never tell you how it feels
to realize you are the wrong person and
I'm wishing I could
drag you back out to sea

Pt. 8
By this time I knew I had a problem
And you came out of nowhere-
Just in time to watch me tumble down
You grabbed me and instead of falling to the floor I fell into your lips and it felt so wrong I wouldn't wish it upon anyone

Pt. 9
I think you deserve more than a verse but darling we know time and there's no time for that
Shaking legs and shaky breaths in that old room with the furnace burning way too warm
You were everything in that moment and I haven't stopped thinking about it since
Jul 2013 · 875
The Gold Mine
wounded words Jul 2013
running through those sleepless streets

clutching onto these weathered sheets

purple skin and bloodshot eyes

piercing words and shaky sighs

she's got the beauty of an insomniac

meanwhile her heart is under attack

loving you feels like drowning she says

get this fire out of my head

you say stay positive

she have so much to live

but you see these whisperings in her head

tell her "i'm better off dead"

what a shame

what a shame

the disaster in her

what a beautiful misdemeanor

those thoughts in her mind

were those of a gold mine
Jul 2013 · 1.9k
Sweet Maryjane
wounded words Jul 2013
Take me down that yellow brick road
I want to see all the broken people
searching for solace in those old stones.
One by one they wander through
smokey air and blood stained eyes
in search for the place where no one cries.
Sweet Maryjane won't you be my guide
traveling through space til
I've lost my mind
Jul 2013 · 629
Devil's Advocate
wounded words Jul 2013
My words for you have seemed
to run quite dry
and I am not sure if it is a blessing or a curse
because I said
without you I am dead
so here I am drowning
in my madness
and I still cannot speak
and I am not sure if it is a blessing or a curse
Jul 2013 · 498
One Last Thing
wounded words Jul 2013
Sometimes I wish I could talk to you again
because I don't really know what love is
but I find myself out of breath
when I think about the way your lips
trailed down my neck
or the way your eyes seemed
to pierce into every crevice of my body
and I wonder if love feels like this
But how could something so wonderful
feel so suffocating?
Sometimes I wish I could talk to you again
because I have found I love to
have the wind knocked out of me
Jul 2013 · 852
Smokey Stars
wounded words Jul 2013
I always compared you to the stars
like the way your freckles seemed to spread across the sky
or the way I would look at you
on the loveliest of nights
but would still have that sadness in my eyes.
I always compared you to my stars
because you were everywhere
in my mind during the night
but you never saw my sun,
the best part of me.
You always compared me to smoke
the way my smile comes fast
and fades slowly
or the way I have the tendency
to be here now
but leave before you can cough.
You always compared me to smoke
because you say I poison your mind
but living without me is unimaginable.
You are my stars
I am your smoke
like the sun needs the moon
I lay you down
We want to compare
So I blew my smoke
to the stars
but the wind carried it
the other way.
Jul 2013 · 519
Paradigm Sky
wounded words Jul 2013
I remember looking up at the stars that night
after crawling out of that beaten tent.
They spread across the night
like a million diamonds
I don't think I ever saw them so bright.
It was somewhere between O'Ryan's belt
and the Big Dipper
I knew you were my sky
and it was somewhere between
the clouding moon and those fading footsteps
I knew I was drowning in your storm.

— The End —