I'm good
When I can keep it together,
Pharmacy targets me, draws in
like a spider spinning silk around your collar bones
Two tones, grey and tar black
Neutron star of darkness for a soul
Machinegunning made me not want to **** even more
Settle what score, what we fighting for, should be given for, all these little trees I'm blowing, smoking, parallel alley paragliding, precision parts parked in plastic. The meaning of drastic.

Bugs coming out of my nose
Decaying dreamworld
Utopia is lost on us
The future screams out at us
Our children scream out to us
What are we doing!
What are we losing
Every callous day
2 cigarettes for nothing
and an empty coffee cup
Whoever you are I hope
you're ok tonight

Writing with your guts on the floor at your feet
one last line

I thought I saw the dampest of the rooms, the quietest of them all
a place to thaw out and find solitude

Crystalline castles of crushed candy, cobwebs in your clover,
stone cold sober but I'm lying

Water in a parched mouth like parchment sent south with
letters left sideways

Paths in the patchwork with placid predictions on the possibilities
ahead of us

A rusty hook in your back between the discs, rupturing cartilage,
imperceptible and brisk

The wrong angle and I choke, strangle, hang from a bad angle, clothes-dangle and mangle

Pieces of Pisces carved up like jack-o-lanterns on the front porch

Internally I feel the roaches, ashes on the floor and cigarette butts
sticking to the soles

Plastic deconstruction, reshaped through combustion into the
typical and obtuse

Flies on the lip of my coffee cup, dancing with their sick, fat, bodies
They're on my legs, in my hair, stuck in my imagination like gum to shoe
I can't stand to look at them, dancing in the air, landing with no care, putrid
Wipe the crap out of the corners of my eyes, out of the crevasse of my head
Empty empty empty
I somersault from the summit, crack back on every cornice
Fall where every wild thing will find me, bury me with their teeth, a proper burial
The flies will then come, even though they were not invited

I called into the darkness,
only shadows replied with their silence
Surrounded and juxtaposed,
men senselessly exchanging violence
You can't survive this, involuntary birth,
existence the mirth of a blind God
A blind fraud, a sadist, preaching morality from the ****** pulpit
Your last hot cup of coffee, your last half smoked cigarette
The lights are about to flip off for a while, greet it with a smile
Grind your teeth to the gum line, interlocking fields of fire on the gun line

Obey
It hurts to hurt
A teaspoon of kindness
Ill+Crook =
1llcroox
1+1=Ideath?

Peeling down the walls, climbing our way into the sewer
Plastic manure, a harvest of good intentions unspooled
Eyes glassy, mouth drool, haldol pools in black cavity tooth
Ruthless at root, pulled up like catclaw in Skull Valley
Another faulty thought process, burnt, drifting through days
Looking back on the ways I dirtied my soul, soil in flower pots
The river is running high, it will be dark soon
I wonder in which room of what ward I'll die in
Medication vacation, turn it all off, lights out
Something in your hand, cold and turning, screaming silently
Something in the way the birds are flying, falling
Flip open another pack of careless filters
Exhale another hour
Time passes like rain showers on mountain peaks
Crashing through the Aspen
Chasing cutthroat trout

How is it three years, and I still have the same dreams?
Can you explain that to me, lovely sparrow?
Clutching olive branch and yew bark
Grabbing in the dark for cold water, sweating down the glass
Bitter chlorine and calcium built up on the face
Mineral finger-paints, broken down with linseed oil and worn palms
Your eyes behind those old glasses, working clay on the wheel
Such pride in glazed pots collecting rain on the patio
Paving stones laid in sand, the last few crooked on account of the cervesa
Dry in the mouth like panting dogs, deadweight collapsed on threadbare carpet
How do we convince ourselves that it is desirable to be alone?
I hold you in my arms in a dream, whoever you are
Pulling all the strands out of a wicker basket, creating uselessness
Chattering keys on a laptop like shivering teeth
Coughing, faceless, men, the embodiment of misery in this night
The most beautiful pair of eyes I've ever seen, what other secrets lie beneath
that hijab?
Just a passing glance, most of the people we see, we will never see again
How is it some make such a profound impression with nothing more than a
smile?
Lying under the Joshua tree, surrounded by dirt roads leading nowhere in particular
Warm water mingles with the sweat on your lip
A sigh that send chills through me
The restless wind, nothing more

A bowl of water, dip your hands
A bowl of rice, share
We're not going nowhere,
unless we do it as a
team

Unlearn the violence,
come on, just try it.
Let's get back to being forward
And stop being so formal
about this species, us.
Comparing who has the biggest stick, who can send the next rocket, **** all that ****
At the wall, spit, spitmask flashback VC1
Being locked in a chair was no fun
but we made it
Even sang karaoke tonight, even though my hands were shaking
Life is rakeing me in, lost in the applesauce asphalt abdomen
Abstract spells and little bells on your wallet
You wrote me a a whole book but couldnt decide what to call it
I fall face first into the worst form of myself, bottom shelf
Sometimes losing your mind is the only thing that helps
Seaweed and kelp, a vision of self, caught upside down, inside out
About to reroute down south of center mass
Manic biomass bypassing your encryption like science fiction
Find new diction, what we're wishing for is the light to come on
Bringing all the moths and beetles to make their rounds
Gentle crowns of hair, the mysteries under there
Senseless we stumble through another day decluttering everything but what matters
Some things shatter, some stay the same, choose your candle accordingly
I'll be somewhere with my spider friends, folding paper hawks for good luck

The tea candle has burnt out
The cigarette has burnt out
I have burnt out
Coffee grounds in the last cold sip
Staring through bright, shining, window worlds of happiness
Plastic pallete, static ballet, crushed can alley, cardboard kingdom
Leaning on the leisure palm, societal balm, self righteous cents
Filming false charity for likes and views, make sure you subscribe to the channel too
Who do we listen to, linear division of red and blue, no middle view
Winner skews the history, in charge of our own misery, executed tenderly

Little pieces of hope sticking out of rubble
Dull razor dragging away the stubble
Popping my own little ignorant bubble
Couldn't imagine the trouble this would bring
Hear the darkness sing, feel the rain sting
The fluttering of owls on a wing, swirling silence
Emotional violence of day to day existence
No effective resistance, just incredible distance
Watch our spirits get smashed by cinder blocks
Throw away all the keys to my locks, hide them under rocks
Snapped like dry stalks, stinks like wet socks
Long talks with no resolution, no solution
Would do better back in the institution
Insanities inclusion, mind always moving
Always losing, put this broken toy back on the shelf

Isn't it funny
How the day can be so sunny
The clouds just seem to run away
Wispy fingers of condensation
Receding into vapor, invisible
Coming and going like spring showers
As subtle as silence
Reforming themselves on their blue tapestry
To an orchestra of grasshoppers

The dust in kicking up, windy night in New Mexico
Watching the moon rise up over cactus & canals
Listening to rocks become pebbles
Filling our stomachs with cold water
Under the blanket you wove for me, the one
we slept in
On that cold October night, when we thought the
sun would never rise
And when it did, it shone with such brillance
Stuck our hands out, between the cracks, just
to catch its radiance
To stop the shaking, it set me on edge
Made me want to run, just to feel myself sweat
But I'd just fall facedown in the snow
Lost in a canyon, full of black rocks,
dead trees
And a silence we forgot existed

Seventy eight cents accelerated into a slapped palm
A nod between us to prepare this nickle dime handoff
Passenger in this body behind a wheel
Slave to yellow white blurs on blacktop
Can't stop thinking I should drive up all the roads I drove down,
Manic around town, sporting a frown
Like a clown with mismatched shoes
Filling blank space with blues and *****
No cruise control to pull me down this road
Foot bears the load, frame bent Ford
By the grace of the Lord still breathing
No longer careening down unfamiliar paths  
Not the last laugh
But close

Could we all
just get along
for one day?

Don't know why I come to these places, such inflated expectations
Waiting on someone to walk up to my cocoon soul, do magic
A dwindling pack of Newports, another sour beer
The hour of its end draws near, yet I stupidly sit here, waiting on nothing

Dead men drinking air through reeds
Dodge city splitting pretty pennies
Rust out all that pocket change
Evil, evil human brain
Beaten with rods of dry cane
Offshoot, soft soot face paint
Make me grey, flick ashes away
Day after day, revolving ridiculousness
Dreams crushed delirious and flat
Flys landing on cuts through the cracks
"I used to drink wine" she cries, tries to laugh
Chewing my cigarettes, bones stiffen and snap
Grass growing long out in the back
Fat grey cat, coolin' in chives
Tiny little pill closes my eyes
Interpret moisture condensed in the sky
Let the birds take my bones when I die

Little fuzzy elephant
chasing her first
LION
Do the hot chili pepper dance
Vooooooo Dooooo woman
Bow to HER, clay-man, walker in the day, man
all servants to shay-tan
Cherry cotton blossom killer
slumlord white powder thriller
****** sticks to kids
****** sticks to kids
****** sticks to kids
No god can forgive our sins
There is no life without
an end
Stainless steel I bend
under rail road cars as my
head spins
**** me now, coward
do me that favor
I'm a warrior with flavor,
so like it, life I will savor
Help me God, por favor
nessicito Allah, my soul is pour
My eyes turn to pitchers as
my brothers turn into 1 man martyrs
Victims of every veterans second war,
the war inside & at home
Surah An Nas 100 times tonight

Weave me into your joyous network cruelly
Entombed in humming cables spooling
All the edges are skewing
Hooks luring in the dark
Fatal spark ends transmission
Good intentions, outweighed by outcome
Harvesting doubt under hot sun
Can't hide, can't run

I bow to you
tomorrow
swallowing up the sorrowed coffee grounds
impeding the hounds nipping at heels
wheels turned square and useless
another night spinning into that dark corner
last light out in the early mourners morning
sea is storming at all solid things
waiting on what low tide brings
driftwood and nylon strings
plastic, man's own plague
the limelight shifts
species exit stage

This place is a cheap trick
Exposed at the root
Like a cavity, a pus ridden sore
It must be lanced, purged, cleaned
Cleaned of the false human impression:
That we matter

A mood where you want tea.
A white dove ascends,
solitary and unafraid.

Word weary, near ropes end, cannot fathom how to send
a reply
Every day I just try to make it, set a goal and then
break it
Find my claustrophobic corner and disjoint your
shoulder sockets
Clutching a handful of loose
love lockets
Taken out of pocket by a bot, kid, cyborg babies born
half copper wire
A used pile of tires, rubber and gasoline and burning,
the whole **** world
yearning for water
Like sheep led to the slaughter
betraying our brothers, sisters
daughters, list goes on on them

For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction

Imagine being the last
Homosapien
this race can end
any given second
just push a button
or two
skip to my loo
buckle my shoe
ring around the roses
pockets full of posies
We all fall down
we
all
fall
d
o
w
n

Preach your bible while you spit venom
Like you're the only one with a mental illness
Your first time in this ward? It's my fifth
Tell me about my life, apparently you lived it
Ever been disowned, disinherited, left in the dirt?
Tell me what is feels like every time one of my comrades dies
You sat in AC while I slept in the sand
You're just a POG to me, ******* man

Rusting in the shade of sycamore trees, fields of
puzzlegrass
Naked in pools of water, naked on the rocks in
the sun
Sweat melting down into puddles of ice, blown back
& forth
Erasing lines on the page, crumpling up fingerpaint
pictures
Your beautiful handwriting on my back, ink under our
fingernails
Quiet little lines in my notepad, saved for you
alone
Reflections of sleepless nights with your charms
on the nightstand
Left carelessly in the morning, lovingly left
behind
I read those pages, & with a sigh, rip them to
pieces

Greysen:    "Is that the Devil?"

Zion:            "You never know...
                     he could be right here."

-

Two trains pass, it's starting to rain.

There is nowhere to go but the sodden earth.

How many graffiti Guernicas' grind by?

-

A blue heron crashing into the creek

The minutes screaming by as we speak

Diet of coffee chugged cigarettes has me weak

A leaf, breathing and green, ants biting legs off of queen

You're scared to watch a movie without a happy ending

The hero doesn't always win when cards start spinning


-

Be somebody special, be yourself

Be a spiritual being having a human experience

Facing truth: facing yourself

Don't worry about dying and forget to live

What makes a good day? Yourself

A silence in the dark, liquid sparks, water works for eyes
Real men do cry, like heroes named nothing, Vietnam trash truck spinal tap
A real rap, no bullcrap, veterans on anti-psychotic full stacks
Rearrange that, do a dime flat then tell me about it, kid
Foam lunch dragon chaser, make your life an eraser and get rid of it
Knee deep in ****, they're screaming in the dark, dead larks
Arcs of soulless blue pills, the way life inevitably kills
Concrete fills your shoes, see you in the deep end, son
No fun, no sun, only darkness, heartless, ruthless con artist
If you don't want none don't start it, I'll eat your heart kid
Smell like a ****, kid, go catch a dart, lid, split, wig, hit
Being caught in the **** rain again, about to go insane again
Another manic pink panic, the train ****** ran in, to me
Help me, someone, anyone, my eyes pour pitchers for my comrades nightly

Ink in the trout pond
Fishing for memories
Turns out it's a bit easier
To erase graphite than reality

Smashing light bulbs in the dark to see
shattered sparks
Growing flowers to pull off all the petals
individually
Saved in the pages of unread novels, piles of
words
By some madman who had something to say, still has
something to say
Collect yourself for the next day, take a deep breath &
sleep
Because it will likely be worse than today, if not,
rejoice
Because you beat the odds, gamed the game
for once
I quietly thumb through faded photographs, trying
to remember that day
One of them, any of them, something to try for
again
Because I cannot dream anymore, I forgot
how
Somewhere along the line, it all drained
away
Crushed every morning at five thirty by screaming
alarm clocks
Damning me, sending me to hell, glaring red
numbers
Sweating out the anger, childishly smashing my
knuckles to pieces
I am temporary as the clouds spinning 'round the
mountains
One of these days, I'll climb them & try my luck at
flying

I keep chipping off pieces of myself
I wonder how long until it's all gone
Lies drawn across our foreheads
Black sharpie marker stink
Spray paint symphonies reformed in a blink
New colors, new ink, mind on the brink
A drink in the morning, cool water
Sun presides over the daily slaughter

Wheelchair
Need please help
Wheelchair woodclipper
Forgo the ego
Ride the tiger

All alone in your root bound home,
bones buried among flowers and fragmentation,
tank track graves,
little spades full of holes,
it's all burning now,
oily black tar belching in columns,
weeds growing through ribs in the trenches,
lunchtime in the landmine field,
eyes peeled back puffing smoke,
a sea of palm oil trees,
a sea of plastic,
a sea of people screaming towards destination death,
peddle to the floor,
on collision course with war,
sorrow,
loss,
tomorrow,
all these little procedures followed,
doing our chicken dance for grain,
rooster ran over by the 711 gas pumps,
still kicking one leg,
bite the tongue that feeds you lies,
tilt your head skyward,
pop all those bones in your hands,
neck,
light that cigarette,
we'll  pay for this all one day

Oak tree in the middle of a field, the limbs are twisting, dancing,
but no wind is blowing.
Dry grass stands still, a flower disintegrates off its stalk,
colors fading, degrading.
My house used to stand here, when I was a child, now there is just a tree,
such green leaves...
All these memories, swept away in the night, but there is no wind blowing,
never has, really.
You stand next to me in my mind, but you're long gone, in reality,
decomposing.
A blurred outline of a face, something that was, but is no more,
never could have been, really.
I sit on the corner of this concrete slab, watching the clouds rush by,
shedding alkaline tears.
Birds ride the currents, gliding effortlessly, but the wind doesn't blow,
it never has.
Fence posts, dry as paper, they've stood under this harsh sun too long,
but this sun has never shown.
I'll sit here a while longer, under these rustling leaves,
sounds reminiscent of crashing waves.
You were a gust of wind, drying sweat & tears from my face
that feeling left with you, & the wind blows for me no longer.

Today I shed some tired eyes
Under leaves, leaves with corners
and sharp edges
Today I shed some weary legs
Upward over the mountain
down into the streams
The fragrant and decaying
The cloying and the stagnant
Odd how a man can look over miles of open country
& see nothing but subdivisions
Odd how a man can look at another
& **** for a belief
Odd how a man can smile into the empty bottle
& see no light through the glass
Bones buried under sand a time, bulldozed another foot deeper
Someones kid hidden behind a picture in a wallet
We hid somewhere, in those bushes in the field
Hid from ourselves
Listened to the creek and tried to decipher language
The tea your brewed sits cold in my hands
And the smiles you shared sit cold in my lips
We drank together on the beach, me and these guys
Selling cigarettes to put food on the table
While their sisters sold themselves
And all I could decipher through my drunkness
Was that I wasn't supposed to be there
Never was, never was

I sit with these ugly ballpoint words and think of you
I sit with these grasshopper thoughts and think of nothing
I sit with my feet in still water, my eyes on dead clouds
I think of the broken days
Blackout wine bottle days
Writing on the wall on where to ride trains to
Through New Mexico, to drift
Fall off the face of it for a while
Bootknife nights

We spoke through the cigarette smoke
How we didn't choke I'm not sure
Made me put them down
For good

It was odd, watching those dogs eat those camels
In the sand dunes
The bodies of a car accident lopsided and covered in someones
sheets
Drove for days, small cities, large refineries
An empty ocean that seemed to carry its sand into the horizon
Dune after dune
Somehow we bargained a pack of smokes for two
Saudi riyal

I drank to much and said to little, she always said
Over and gone, pictures on the fridge
Sleeping at 2, waking at 5
Eyes heavy and the first cigarette
A cup of coffee and the slow realization
That the sun remains to rise

Moths tumbling into your headlamp like rain
Eyes on the waterline looking for snakes
It breaks a little piece in me, thinking about you
Get that feeling of migrating rooms in the same house
Twisting up sheets in the corner of choice
Don't know what came out, rejoice, something survived

Eyes gone dull, receding into comatose
Fingers full of dirt and hope, spinning sunflower
Power and lack thereof, the perception of those above looking down at the masses
These clashes seem to me, a supply chain theory, I want what you got, bombs pour out
Military industrial ore, we pour out the lifeblood of our children for soil
Foil snake, famished toil, ****** boils your tea
Three, one two many, send me space bound, no suit
Acute, angles I'm not seeing, the masses are fleeing, into the commonplace complacency of creatures of comfort
Watch the fort burn down, all your pretty ideas, replaced, rejected, genocides neglected
That's a bet, kid, I seek, you hid, cheese slid off the ******* jack pop snap
Lapdog lullabys, sticky morning crust in our eyes
Swatting at radioactive flies, landing on my lips and your hips
The road dips and tumbles, rumble strips and gravel licks
Rifle clicks on empty, nobody sent me, I came here on my own, mobile phone to the dome locked lengthways
Stingrays and hot water, burning protein venom
The waves are crashing down but the swell is just beginning

Words in the night, distant daytime conversations after the downpour
Smoke exhaled from heavy lungs like the last rain drops
Clouds reanimated in the cloying nicotine
Memories of a smile over kiwis cut crosswise
A bottle holds it all now, those memories
Memories closed and final
Wash the dirt from my hands
With loving pen strokes
Help me make the world fall
Away


Water in the mug, a smile like insects under heel
7 a.m., all alone, empty road, I’ll walk until
I lose my sole
The sun burns luminous
The day breaks lovingly
Fresh brewed love
Drank down like a poison
Spat a poem for you
Broke it all again
And here we sit among the blooming hyacinth
The moths on our skin like the gin we sweated out
In the night over Roman candle illumination
Oh tell me, oh spell me, cover me with your algebra
Little notes on hand or thumb
A loving limb separated with skilled hands
The subtly of your heart
Sewed so skillfully to my dullness
Strong hands have retired to
Holding a basket of bitter apples  

I have found a quiet place to write it all down
A silent place to find the distinctions between sounds
In our absence such life has grown
In our tolerance such symbols have been sketched
I found the gap between the stones
Delved in the depths of a bottle or two
Stacked stones on the shores of empty
Bodies of water

Love sketched out in five
Letters

Objects, so attached
what did you do?!
I hear a voice yelling
in the darkness
forward always
forward
Faces cannabilizing their own cheeks
leaking and reeking
left in the sun
roadkill
Silently we confide our little secrets
words secreted
like pus
spider bites
Cherries bright and bitter
why do I only feel
comfortable
talking to you
Call in September, I remember
but I dont
think there will be
much changing
I was one laning and you took a sharp left out of my life
Don't even know how to say sorry anymore
But here I am

She's screaming down the tracks
yelling her chants
steel squeezed flat
this or that or maybe something
no ones blushing anymore
tired of looking at floor
eyes up
clouds impound vision
simple rhythm
traveling distance unfathomable
mystic
patterns on lipstick
cigarette **** stained
double espresso drained
smoke a filter down to the filter
blended red tender
20 box
1 lucky
save it for a friend
or possibly the end
of something lovely

My back is stiff, my eyes are heavy
Sitting under live oak branches, waiting for the rain
Pecans litter the ground, their shells hard & matte
Yet the core is rotten, the shells deception
I watch your calloused hands, blistered & raw
A face drawn tight with every rasping breath
Telling stories through wine-stained lips
Of open country, trails that lead to nowhere
My heartache disguised behind a smile
Sounds of wet wood catching in the open fire
Add another log, to see us through this hour
Tell me another story, father..

Sage bush smoking sour
Eyes cascading showers
Measuring sober hours
Chewing my cigarettes now
Good coffee, good chow
Pretentious **** saying thou
******* off the bow, drunk
Crawl back in my rack
Afloat but still sunk
Cold icey dunk
Casket of grinding gears stuck
Struck, sliding into silence

Plastic everything, saran wrap all your guts back together
Entomb the redwoods in bubble wrap
Force feed your children corner store bags
It's raining plastic and everything is getting full
I wonder if you cut up every whole thing, could you melt it together again with plastic
Chemical smoke black and pouring, melt it all down
Wear it on our head, a screaming crown
Bearing witness to our deeds, the road we're walking down

Spun up and down like trash in the wind
Inking skin, eyes constricted pinpricks
Fast tricks with low risk, another gram of the American dream coughed up
No luck, no safety net, organic meatgrinder ****** and wet
I guess this is what we get, for being so callous to the rest

I am grass crawling out of the ***, once all the flowers have rot
Delicate green, spreading your gentle fingers, same color lingers in her eyes
Spent too many tears trying to forget the feeling of making those eyes cry
The years do fly by, but now I just find myself trying to make sense of them
A jumble of puzzle pieces from different sets, cutting and pasting my soul like Papier-mâché
Waiting on the day when I can honestly say I don't need you

Sew some tears into your sleeves
Save them for me later, please
Hanging like the sword of Damocles
Scratching at imagined fleas
Ignoring all the shouted pleas
Bodies cold like frozen peas
Sailing blind in heavy seas
Dreams of dry land and trees

Hot weather sweat drag
Swatting at flys and nothing
Looking for something to get you through
Collecting morning dew on your ripped shoes
Trying to understand the blues like B.B. told us
Lovelust, leaking from my eyes when you touch my shoulder
Pitchers poured, ideals gored, truth twisted taut
A lot that could go wrong, all over the world getting lost
The bugs will outlast us, the way we're going
Straight toeing the line, no time to unwind
Running through the minefield blind
Rehearsing the party line
Dont you dare think for yourself
**** your good health
No amount of wealth
will save you
when the world
dies

Let's talk about something, nothing,

make it last hours, little showers of

happiness on a September afternoon,

rain dropping and heat flopping on

its stomach, mutt on the back porch,

cat in the grass, surpassing the

estimated end point, a coin coming

out of the machine, minted brilliance

mimicking material, a representation

of capital, your body sold alongside

your soul, to meet a deadline full or

howling needy things, it brings me to

my knees in this September rain,

inherit all the blame and try not to

shrug, would leave it all behind for a

hug, and someone to whisper that

they love me

Break pace, loose lace, space race with the radiated men in the tree line
Lime eyes, ghosting, humans roasting, apple in mouth
South of center, dagger re-enters spinal column, all of em'
At once, in the corner, dunce hat, fat rat overdosing on cheese
God please take this weight
Flying out the window insect-like
Cleated, spiked, rattlesnake like, one quick strike
Just like learning to ride a bike

Put all your ideas in a trash bag
burn it
Discern the meaning by the
plastic smoke
Broke, fundamentally broken
somewhere inside
Only garbage floats up to the surface
of my soul
I don't feel whole anymore, cookie cutter flesh wound
Trapped in the monsoons of psychoactive hysteria
Scary fun, the type where you wipe out brain cells
Your goodness rebels against the current you
Chopped and ******* feel bulletproof in cotton teeshirts
Ketchup squirts out on some fries
The current world relies on machines of loving grace
Finding my place, tattooed lost space case singing sad songs
My heart longs to simply be touched
it sends shockwaves