Measuring happiness in milligrams
Pharmacuetically ******, distorted
Thinking about those ones I snorted,
just to feel normal
I hate this feeling of wildness inside me
Peeling back the scab to let open air sting
The bell rings and you wake in confusion
Trying to find purpose in a life of disillusion
We're creeping, moving, low crawling intrusion
Charlie is in the wire
On our high spire of morality
While the third world bleeds
Children cry and plead
But were to ****
callous

Earl Grey on cracked, parched, lips
Neanderthals with fused hips, no fontanelle
Homosapiens probably hunted them well
Sent a whole species to hell, inheritors
A sleep and a snore, feeling hunted
Remembering so many days blunted, lost
Another horseshoe toss, genocide and loss, us thinking meatbags
Reason says, empathy bags stolen at gunpoint, shoot anyway
Any day you want it you can find it
That I wanna die ****
Just make a choice

Pulling little combs, out of my tongue
Smoke another one, tobacco crumbs
Let's not burn another, save our lungs
Squatting in a field, making dung
We're all one, of the same
Same species, same name
Peace is possible, what I claim
Done nonviolently, in the name,
of progress

Cedar bark smokes with a spark, rubbed tinder bundle, powder
The power of a flame in the dark, a distant spark, Prometheus liver sandwich
Dam it up, the whole **** cut, this little holler
Living in squalor in the back room of a double wide, theres only one road in and out
You're trapped now, the rat went to far in, got greedy
Like the monkey with rice in his paw, they're coming with hammers and bone saws
Watch your heart thaw, right in front of you, new shoes stained sanguine
Fine wine got your head spinning friend, gulp it down and experience a real end
Inebriation on a higher station, drunk off this relaxation I forgot how to do
Unwind and unspool, two men in a duel, who draws quicker?
Is speed swifter, or should you take your time?
Another place, nother' rhyme, I'm the reason my momma cries

This tea tastes lovely this morning, just cooling down
Hydroxizine impounds this anxiety, I cry, am free
Of burdens piled on top of me, dropped casually, callously
Look at me, eye dead center, enter it on the chart
Machete swipe my heart in its little rib cage box
These birds must talk, screaming obscenities over Fig Newtons
Finding two cents on Memorial, tossed on soft hard plastic
Crashed it that one night, don't remember anything anymore
What else is in store, I really can't handle much more

Antipsychotic licks, lyme disease ticks, pick up sticks
Cutting wicks, playing tricks, flicking BICs
Just another hick, way you look at me, like you got whole books of me
Come cook with me, write a hook with me, become a crook like me
Static backpeddle, piddling on the ant pile, been lost awhile
Cross-cut file creasing cuticles comfortably, clutter-free
Oh say can you see, why did they lie to me, why did we go to war?
Was it Junior settling Seniors' score, or something more?
We sit and snore gently, herbivores, wonder why the carnivores are hungry
Love me, if you can, I'm as temporary as sand spilling sideways
Fresh rays of sun, this photon was the one to finally find me
Chain reactions and Lurasidone interactions gives sanity in fractions
Join your faction and justify that violence, my two cents
Begging for pence and pennies, eating garbage behind Denny's
A whole scrap book devoted to ladybugs

They don't bite their brother.
Cottonmouth.
Scales sliding over toes, smelling rotten rose
Water hose and purple prose and sage burning
World turning, big organic meatgrinder, composting bones
Two tones of being alone, two bones split out your shin
Living in this big plastic garbage pile
Been doing it a while, **** down that rage
Neutron star explodes and ends the golden age, not even a story on a page

Vote my fist, the ship lists starboard

Nautical twist, birthed sideways

Harelip lisp, tender hearted doe-eye

Little boys cry for scraped knees

Come here, please, and tell me

about it

Troutin', somewhere upstream

Go low and then lean,

smiling and clean and soap on teeth

Somewhere beneath your heart,

a switch to restart,

the whole process.

Arms around my center,
hold me
Eyes on the nape of sunburnt neck,
you smell wonderful
Tamarind and Sativa, I can't leave ya',
but you left me
What else will I see, who will I be,
without you

Break pace, loose lace, space race with the radiated men in the tree line
Lime eyes, ghosting, humans roasting, apple in mouth
South of center, dagger re-enters spinal column, all of em'
At once, in the corner, dunce hat, fat rat overdosing on cheese
God please take this weight
Flying out the window insect-like
Cleated, spiked, rattlesnake like, one quick strike
Just like learning to ride a bike

Grasshopper lights humming screams
Sonic ear drum bubblegum,
stuck on your new flip flops
& raindrops

Hallway whitenoise, brain toys, medicate me
I need something and soon, strong
Come along, just now, open that can of sardines
It means we don't care, collectively, sublimely apathetic
The rhetoric is twisted, morality misted, disintegrate
Reproach and radiate the poison and that noise and
The boys are calling with rifles and machineguns
Infantry funds, nicotine in stiff lungs
It comes and lunges, for you, it's just how it do
React, snap back, back crack, spinal tap, piano wire wraps noose-like
Fly a high kite, set the bar high and crawl right under
Tear me asunder, lightning, thunder, another monumental blunder

First purple page, plagiarizing plums crushed like candy between incisors
First new wave, going right over the reef with aquatic teeth
Wish me luck, tango la suerte y la magica
Listening to the Bosnian adhan, for fun, 2:14am
Stainless steel ice reservoir, killing for a taste of nicotine air
Got sick of chewing my smoke
Not dead broke quite yet, need a haircut and I'm set
It's a bet betting on me, make an investment and see
Tight lines at quarter time, spilling rhyme reasonless
**** your system, digest aggression, **** out plastic
Okinawa brig **** white woman tapped my back give me my shot God ******

Ladybug lovesongs, shorts, longs, Genghis Khans
It's raining outside, warm and gentle
Fresh lentil soup, rearrange, regroup the thinking piece
Find peace part in parcel, gray zone embargo, let's go
Swing the *** down the row, break your back for it
No ****, take a hit and pass it along, left or wrong
The Khan is coming out now, stomping through the mud
A cow chews her cud, the sky turns ice eyeball blue, Bailey
Hate me, I deserve it, tell me, I've probably heard it
Spit, throw your salt over your shoulder, shift that boulder
Mold over the wet bread slice, kimchi and rice
Sugar, spice, and everything spicy, like me, jalapeno tattoo'd on my arm
Does good, some harm, sound the alarm
Break the strong arm and be free
Self conscious in me, oh say can you see
By the setting of the sun, ants, plants, trails
Quails in flight, saying poison out of spite
Change your thoughts and change your life
Ladybug love songs, sing to me in your silence
Try this, I want your voice lifted to it
A note to hit, high point, max ordinate, advocates
Words of hate, washed clean with bar soap
Some hope, at this point, concise and contradictory
Dissect the diction, resurrect the dialect
Stand ***** in the face of flooding flashes
To make it in this country you need cash, kid.
Smoke a **** Winston down to the filter

It was the day before Christmas, all the little cobblers went to work
The day before Christmas and my feet are sore, walking these cold streets alone
I had run over shoes, sores on my feet
This **** street, wind and sin, stinging the tears from eyes like pitchers pouring
The cobblestones hurt my feet, walking barefooted, well hooded now, girls swaying with crockpot hips and blue twine
Little girls with hoods on their jackets.
Smack it, back at it, do it drastic
Fog and dark gray sky, cobblestones made me cry again today
I was in pain, walking in the dark gray shadows

The feeling of being caught sideways in a downpour
Heart soars, then falls short, cannot retort truth
Chewing a Baby Ruth with a sore tooth backwards ballcap
New straps, he's yelling again, but every day weaker
I think he's losing hope, who is he yelling to?
A shoe, full of concrete, flu, full of *****
Halley's comet, riding on it out in the dark empty
Simply living, dying to try, eyes on the finish line
Sit and dine on a meal made of your loved ones
Brothers, sons, Cain and Abel type ones, we're coming now
In the dark simple sparks ignite my oily eyelashes
Slashes, gashes, eviscerated ashes, potato mashes
The last shift, last drop of coffee spot page breaks
What makes the world go round, bad side o' town
Smile then frown, a king with no crown on his tooth
Let loose, unchain the caboose and tumble off track
React, that's how we survive
Motivation, purpose, drive
Today's a good day to be alive

A silence in the dark, liquid sparks, water works for eyes
Real men do cry, like heroes named nothing, Vietnam trash truck spinal tap
A real rap, no bullcrap, veterans on anti-psychotic full stacks
Rearrange that, do a dime flat then tell me about it, kid
Foam lunch dragon chaser, make your life an eraser and get rid of it
Knee deep in ****, they're screaming in the dark, dead larks
Arcs of soulless blue pills, the way life inevitably kills
Concrete fills your shoes, see you in the deep end, son
No fun, no sun, only darkness, heartless, ruthless con artist
If you don't want none don't start it, I'll eat your heart kid
Smell like a ****, kid, go catch a dart, lid, split, wig, hit
Being caught in the **** rain again, about to go insane again
Another manic pink panic, the train ****** ran in, to me
Help me, someone, anyone, my eyes pour pitchers for my comrades nightly

The day has burnt out just now
and she won't pick up the **** phone
Alone again and he's screaming.
Let's get lost, my friend
In a sea of palm groves and cobras
Tall grass and trash covered beaches
I've realized I'm a leech, always have been
Originator of sin, unrepentant right
Night sights on your forehead
Dump darts, ***** in the dirt
Blood on my shirt, finally
It hurt, the first time, worst time
Sublime and unaware, meaningless swears
I think God doesn't care
but I could be wrong.

The rain is falling at 94b
wind in the trees
drenched fleas
Quiet pleas for mercy
but it'll be a hearse, see?
Learn surrsh Fatiha, Naas, Falaq, Asr
we are all lost, sir
You, me, her, all of us
We have the stuff to do it
get thru it, black and blue it
Life is terrestrial, fluid,
you decide how you do it

Birds on a highline
Cat tracks and blue twine
We're smiling this morning
T made it happen
The cats are trackin' again
and we sit here happily
waiting on pills

Black thrush magic, Sam told me 'bout it
Spit shining a T32, spiders hanging in the psych ward
Hard cores in rotten apples, illicit samples
Lines of camels in the desert, dive in head first
A drop of water in an open eyelid
I ran and hid
Can't find me
I can see, finally
A way out, forward, round about
Fillet of trout, cutthroat
A new demeanor called hope

We're here now, out of the
rain
We're there now, sleeping
sideways
How to brush your ****
teeth

Slammin' bones, telephones
Way the aim goes up, up
From this bowl we will sup, smoke
Drug, comrade, we stood in the rain
Comrade, brother, always faithful
Mojim drugovima, I feel ya'
Grozny snacks, lessons learned in brass
Cold cash, runs the **** thing
Float like a butterfly and sting, sting, sting

Amani, Shalom, Salaam, peace
Humanities' goal is to release original sin
Meat grinder ball spins and we still fightin'
Warrin', not-rightin', iron sighting
birds in flight'n
Amani ani nawae 94b, for helping me
Made it clear with a shot glass of Halidol and pretty pills
It spills out this morning, doing laps to pass time
Apparently being Muslim is a crime
Do some **** and do a dime flat
Put you on your back with a gat goin' ack ack
Once again you got the short stack, short straw
Psych ward thaw, I want peace with them all
But they want to hurt me for praying to loud
Just another in the crowd, I need help too
I served this country just like you
Borders and flags are the symbols of fools
This species can come together given the right tools

The way it feels to be caught in the rain
brainwash dish toss, victory & loss, blood on the floss
Spit it out
We are deep in the forest & the sky is turning red
the animals are running white eyed, singed stink
Kids at the roller rink, trying to speak, to you &
you alone
Words spit in hostile tones when all we need is love
Like a dove with a BB in her heart
Tumbling tumbilina, Small as Thumbelina
I see ya, coming out of the dark, red sparks
Larks on the high line, fine wine, salt & brine
Crying out in the darkness simply to cry
Trying to figure out the reasons why,
why

Little fuzzy elephant
chasing her first
LION
Do the hot chili pepper dance
Vooooooo Dooooo woman
Bow to HER, clay-man, walker in the day, man
all servants to shay-tan
Cherry cotton blossom killer
slumlord white powder thriller
****** sticks to kids
****** sticks to kids
****** sticks to kids
No god can forgive our sins
There is no life without
an end
Stainless steel I bend
under rail road cars as my
head spins
**** me now, coward
do me that favor
I'm a warrior with flavor,
so like it, life I will savor
Help me God, por favor
nessicito Allah, my soul is pour
My eyes turn to pitchers as
my brothers turn into 1 man martyrs
Victims of every veterans second war,
the war inside & at home
Surah An Nas 100 times tonight

Southern pecan swing revelations
Water fuel souls, fresh pools of rain
Wild turkey 101, sipped neat
Cotton, not feeling like Hom/Sui
I'm taking charge
Thanks for caring
My Monday morning prayer rug coffee
Thanks, my mom loves you back
Paprika on everything
Folded funny page 94b

Sole dead brother, gentle mother in the downstairs at Sequoia
I'll never forget those towering cedar, that curling oak, leaving Graw's knuckles raw on a lawnmower in Homosassa
The peppers are growing out back on Sawyer now and things are getting less rocky
The days are less stocky, less full of lumps, there are still slumps, but we keep moving
The strong stuff is soothing but I'm losing a piece of my soul
at least I don't feel that way with a bowl
A slant of words over fanfiction love and D&D plots
A spilled spot of paint on your eisel, sending words as if by magic spell, fluttering hands
The rhythm in the sand, a cross band of constricting conflicting chaos catastrophes copied
A hot sheet, hot meat, wrapped it, in cellophane, plastic

A species in decline
days spent dead and alive
  Sat Sri Akaal
The last cigarette burnt out just now
where should I go to get
  another one
Offer me hope with tired hands
lend me a moment with quiet ears
  A moment to depart

Pills and malt brew
A small sliver of the moon
Would you like to be friends?

Gales of hammers and grass

Eyes on the snackbox

Lackluster lovelocks

Highsocks

The way it feels to extinguish a candle

in the middle of the day

can you even

feel the

absence

The smoke trails come back like full sails and red skies for a sailors suprise

The child chokes and cries in a bombed out building in Hodeidah,

ribs like scars on her chest

Eyes bulging, flies circling, the vultures have come, the birds have

come to roost

A beleaguered cry, Spartans die at spear point, the blood of Tsirhc

anoints, reading prayers sideways

I am ripped open, seeing it go like this

I am torn asunder, the state of things

Find me in the pine, find me in the needles, buried nose deep

in dirt

Trying to find the cat tracks around the saplings

With sureness we will fall

Hammers and tops and all

On this organic meatgrinder ball

It's either all in, or none at all

This Texas night sky got me
full dipperin'
Tongue slippin' in the grease, frying pans on
the asphalt grit
Hot eggs n shaved legs n french fries,
moonpies and marshmallows
Good fellows, hot bellows under the bronze bull
boiling briskly
A child born in space doesn't age as fast,
lives longer,
and becomes callous to the people
"living in the dirt"
Heather's putting the clothes in the dishwasher

It took me so long to learn that:

Firing takes place
when the recoiling groups
are between .020 to .116
out of battery to prevent
contact between the front
end of the barrel extension
and the trunnion block

Verbatim.

But I did it, and so can you.
Why not?

It took me so long to learn:

The distance between
the face of the bolt
and the base of the cartridge
when fully seated in the chamber

Verbatim.

But I did it, and so can you.
Why not?

Plunging, direct,
enfilade, traversing,
elevating,
elevating and traversing,
swinging traverse, free gun, bipods,
tripods,
useless weight which
spits the ending of living stories
and breathing saints

A tumbling river of psychosis, towing me down the line
Finding the speaking tree, where the levee bends skyward
Eyes open we shelter shock our ***** socks into piles
then flop down in arms spent days in
  shaking for longing
    longing for being held

A strange place to find yourself, down this road tonight
Bright lights on tip toe through the needle sharp live oak
Cough up and choke on the last broken syllable spent
  in a corner store snoring
   symphonies

Beetles on the screen and all it can mean is the light is
attracting them
A stem on the prefrontal cortex was forced more or less
open
Serotonin blue potion puts life back in motion with
little to no commotion


Here we are, finding the time to slice rhymes into watermelon triangles
Here we are, losing it all over again
You and you and you and you

Tired old men with their heads bent low
taking the salt and brine in tow
hooks like daggers
skinny steel
octopus
rings
for
a
fishes
meal

Backlash into your bleeding muscle,
eviscerating the child in you
We crush our soda can lives into meaningless shape
Shimmy, shake, convulse and crack that back
Shooting down another frosted rack in the grass
Sloping sideways and out of line, honey eyed adder mouth
You're assimilating me and I love it

Crushed red peppers under your fingernails,
your perfect pink
fingernails
Eyes on the shutters again, waiting for the rain
to stop
speaking
Exalted in the exhale, loop lost criss-cross
apple sauce
spilt
Spitting out seeds of sunflower hearts on
my bare
ribs
Sour face sideways slowdowns, changing
lanes at
110
Finding the fastest way forward
**** the
consequences

Cross web interactions, herbs sold by fractions of the ounce
Light across the paving stones, home alone in the mote bath
Facing it once again, been putting it off to long
The stink of thawed blood on the cutting board
Hot hot peppers on the rim of your glass
Eyes in the ant lion holes boring tunnels
we are eating each other
bone by bone

Cold water hits your gut like a fist
eyes dumping mucus
Wipe me away, wipe me down the side
of your pants
Finding the intersecting point
pirouetting through the landmines

A walk through the woods with her
To a house with no fence,
a deep creek churning out back
That you must wade through
however fast it flows
however many stones
it turns

Long eyelashes, for a boy,
to catch these buckets
dumping
Green rage crushed down in
pill form
snorted
Eyes frothing with madness
tangle my agony
in bramble

Fourscore downtime rhymes
We've heard this **** 10,000 times
A word worth saying for once, lost perception
Of the chambers of the heart correction
Hot peppers on tongue connections, still puddle reflections
The drip-drip-drop staccato beat, of heart of rain
Insane template premeditate the tempo of pierced cortex
The reflex action, muscle contraction, fight
Right overcoming light like eclipse of the sun, one & done
Then plunging into night, moths circling, sun holes
The way a nail goes head deep, pour & seep through the
pores that define the metaphors you apply
the way a nail, crushed by a hammer, pulls free
Free, like I can be, if I simply believe, in self, selfless
the hammer pulls, I have felt less
over this inebriation
But why, why, why this hesitation?
I talk in twisted rhyme, above my station
a reclamation of who I used to be
Be, and I see the exclamation point, peculiar & parallel
Folding space and my perception, to anoint
Lines spit like whole milk, the cut of pine is rougher than snake wood  
Eloquence unravels like old silk, spits cinders and
The sand in our hands counts counter clockwise
We're down the river, deep and twisting,
swatting Horseflies
A toad in his abode snacking on HORSEFLIES, unblinking
predator eyes affixed to the crossed crucifix of
called on cobwebs to untangle thought, lost
a spider with his silk cut, hollow gut
nothing caught today, arachnid love

Upward drift in the quiet space
Things falling into place for once
What is the capital of your heart
let's travel it
Backstreet mouthwash cobblestone wordlocks
Sterile wipes on your cut hands
Find me out in the rotten Hyacinth
Wash me clean of the metaphors of understanding
I'm a child in the darkness crying out
Ripped from the womb with no say in the matter
Cold blank homogeneous liquid
Dampness constricted and concentrated
Four square corner games in crevices
Ceviche on salty chips in the backroom
The gloom you feel post coitus
Unravel the pieces of seed pod thoughts
Untravel every destination post-partum
Under the bridge drug overdose martyrdom
The forest is burning all around us
                      DRIVE FASTER

Writing with your guts on the floor at your feet
one last line

I thought I saw the dampest of the rooms, the quietest of them all
a place to thaw out and find solitude

Crystalline castles of crushed candy, cobwebs in your clover,
stone cold sober but I'm lying

Water in a parched mouth like parchment sent south with
letters left sideways

Paths in the patchwork with placid predictions on the possibilities
ahead of us

A rusty hook in your back between the discs, rupturing cartilage,
imperceptible and brisk

The wrong angle and I choke, strangle, hang from a bad angle, clothes-dangle and mangle

Pieces of Pisces carved up like jack-o-lanterns on the front porch

Internally I feel the roaches, ashes on the floor and cigarette butts
sticking to the soles

Plastic deconstruction, reshaped through combustion into the
typical and obtuse

Sit up stare, glance glare, finer fare in your mouth
I have found south, of center, reenter nervous system
Shyster verbal hysteria, mass panic and malaria
we are just trying to breathe

A hemplock of blocked out tired stares
abandoned to space
A time piece on repeat and redial
been a while

I am expanding outward and recoiling inward
what is this
   feeling

Cilantro breath over broken windpipe words
Adams apple crunched between teeth
  dragged over the reef again and again
   the feeling of sharpness piercing skin

   Burn it, every last page, a thought not worth
thinking
   Turn it, every last letter is shattering my
empathy

A dim diagonal dark spot in the road, hitchhiker unload
a train screaming down tracks shaking
   the rain off the juniper you're
    hiding under
A monumental blunder, burning clothing in the dark
trying to find a spark, a moment of recollection
  gone, all those moments in time
   pharmaceutically lobotomized

Collarbone cleft lip love locks, high socks
  A stone in your back pocket
Finding our pace, our place, ******* loose lace
  Lost cute space case
Divining fate with roaches and half burnt cigarettes
  Exhaling minutes
Waiting, getting really good at waiting
  On you and you alone
Hot liquid metal toenails, I want to lick your teeth
  Shrine shrine, fine shrine
The imperceptible deep, gradients of darkness and brine
  Eyes turned skyward
Caffeine and caffeine and caffeine and
  Smokesmokesmoke
The clouds are cold today, but the air is warm
  Let's go home
Teeth chewing living organisms
  We exact such suffering and expect forgiveness

Eat cannabilistic meat to retain your fluids
This is the final gathering of the druids
If you didn't know, this is how we do this
Riding with Genghis Khan rugged and ruthless
12 gauge pumps leave you toothless
Leave a ******* on that black and blue ****
We get drastic, ******* up like melted plastic
With that fast ****, talking wild and manic, pink panic
Take that heat and just can it, starting a fire to fan it
These purple sage rhymes hit in quarter time
Put dents in your skull like hail sized a dime
Leaving trails of destruction like a snail leaves slime
Take a step off the ledge and hope you can fly
Fight, flight, wrong end of a sharp knife
Fist fight, swing right, sun light, the moon on a clear night
Defining wrong from right, so many things out of sight
To all your crops blight, fingers lost to frostbite
Maniac on many levels, soul rebel, disheveled
Friends with the devil, rob, stole, and took
Every little last look, eggs cooked
That's the end of a bad book

There's a spider with soft yellow foam in his web
bring me in from the cold
There's a spider crawling on it now, inspecting
wrap me in string woven blanket
An unsatable mouth in dark water, hunting
splinter me on smooth pebbles
Living to eat, predators with fins and unblinking eyes
stare into me
A fantastic feeling of lightness followed by inevitable heaviness
the rain hasn't stopped falling yet
  please let us in
   we will drown
Smoking a Port on the porch with the gutters vomiting
nothing but quiet places
  nothing but green herbs
    hot chilies on your tongue

In the great primordial ocean
the tides of your mind
find stillness
Returned from the edge with wings widespread
running jagged up the cliff
like birds in flight
A clear cut of liquid, green and black
predators with unblinking
eyes
Exalted in the rush of the first hit of green sticky
the wind on the garage door
like the sound of shadows
Newport reds and no hope, only the black things
in the dark, dates and
water

The wind finds its fingers in the sound of the leaves
a whole space to void
The night finds obscurity in rain, the rain finds
all the places to wake you
Cold stones and water in a bucket drank down
boiling rocks and foaming seas
Find me a solid place to stand in this
rubble of psychosis
A bullet and a brain and a piece of violence
extended laterally
A bubble of smiling faces, shining sequins on
freshly caught fish scales

I50 I50 blue, 2, 500
L80N green, 1 80
SG181 pink, 1 400
M177 white, 1 250

Some days just get to me
the way it works out
The cash I got don't go
so far
The cigarettes start tasting bad
again

The dogs on the floor again, it's 3 in the morning, sleep will
come soon, if I can choke down these pills
Toss and turn a hole in the sheets until I feel the mattress take off
like a tinder box
The cheese slid off the ******* *******, but here I am,
making it somehow

nor does anyone know
what it is that he will
  earn on the marrow,
    nor does anyone know
      in what land he is
        to die