Cacti blooming in the moonlight
Water lapping on shore
The smell of your hair
The touch I adore
Profound devastation
A leviathan of sorrow
Spit in my face
So I can feel your warmth once more

Days in the ward writing notes
On how to live life and not suffer
Tears on sterile bedsheets
Meditation with killers
Eyes bent on damnation

Run the comb through his hair
Feel his scalp give way
Dandruff on your fingernails
Eyes like burnt plastic
Time endless, elastic

Rye beer, rye bourbon
Drink until the days shift
Hours turn to seconds
Days to minutes
Your smile winding down
Hours in Puerto Rico
On a bench in the center of San Juan
Drinking beer and making love
Hold me once again in memory
For old times sake

The medication I'm on works apparently
I just blend in
Not as crazy as I seemed
A ******* in color
Find me please
Among the juniper and pine

Strange sounds in the night
Like pinpricks on your spine
Saw a shift in the reflections
A killer coming for me
I'm sure of it
Lock the doors
Load the guns
Shotguns up front
Knives in pocket
Come at me you *******
Out of the night and train screaming sirens miles away
Come at me
End my misery

Spend every day on razor edge
Feel the tingle of action
Destroy every inhibition
Fall into nothing

Hookers and tattoos
Destroy what's left
Burn it all down

*****
Mood stabilizers
Anti-psychotics
Xanax
Silence never felt to heavy

Just don't stop coward
Write what's in your heart
Like a doe leaping over fences
Entrails, somehow it fits
Snow on the lawn in Texas
A ****** salt nose dripping on lips
A first kiss in a creek surrounded by mule deer

Two spaces between each empty place
How do they get their names on
The **** bottle

Sitting on Orchard road, in front of the towers
Waiting for a friend or two
The six pack turning warm in its plastic bag
Taking sips under an umbrella in the rain
Espresso and Guinness
**** me for trying

Chewing nicorette until your jaw
hurts
A Grateful Dead song as you switch
lanes
Glances in the rear view, making eye contact for the first
and last
time

Late nights on the tail gate
Looking at the same scene
Up and down the road
Found the hidden things
Between my feet
Above my head

And to finish it off
Another haiku I just wrote for you
To pass the **** time

1
Airless in the morning motions
Every quiet moment shattered in self consciousness
Like coffee on new rugs

2
Flew straight up one time
Fell back down, found the humble ground
Unsteady but reassuring, press on

3
The next song reminds me
Of days spent in this same spot
Waiting on the next song

Wrote it down a while back
in the crawlspace
of memory
Woke in a strange place
with blankets of
strange cotton
Winter sheets and tired eyes
the broken space
between a footstep
Play it again in my head
for a while

Spoke for the white sand at midnight
Where I parted ways with all of it
Still remember nothing

Empty places between the graceless days
of blinked pupils
Empty spaces between the gaps in bad
conversation
I looked for you over every shoulder

A tired stare over glasses
into a glass of nothing
raise, sip, repeat
until life
hurts
less

Feeling alright for the first time in a couple days
don't know if I'm intoxicated
or just numb

Broken vases, vaulted nights
days spent in the embrace
of blissful inaction

A pile of pillows
no thoughts
still

I found my center
but it decided
it needed a while
to find me back

The sunflower of my eyes
Hold me down
And let me go
Only 5 letters to get to the center of my soul
Unlock it all
Let the wind blow all the leaves out
Find me someday
With all the brass fittings back in order
The smile medicated into straight line
The eye like terminal pinpoint
Comrade
The tomorrows we dreamed
Died a few nights ago
So back into the snow
And no God shall walk
with thee