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Jevaugn May 2015
I've done so, once,
Before then,
And now.
But, I still was,
Never before...
Only after.
Now I am then.
Now I am what
Never was before now.
An a, never the.
You fool..
Avada Kedavra.
Jevaugn May 2015
Chant with me one last time time, share with me this last swig of fermented heresy
Let me fall with the cricket cracket of me first love
Me father's bethrotal to ye
Aye, she weeps intoxicated on Ægir's brew
Rabid splinters exalting my blood across these toiled expressions of me last wafting conquer
A failure
I've failed you mother, father
Me flask holds no Giant's blood
I bare no Dragon's horn atop this acursed head
Me crew gone with the steel of swords and axes brewed in their sacrifice, their blood spilled in a lust for carnage
This spirit grows weak like the twinkle of yer dying stars, Nótt
Yet mother holds me, her sway gentle
And father covers me, his directions clear
Hm, an attempt at poetry again...
Jevaugn Mar 2015
I have so much to catch up on here...
Dear God, give me willing strength.
Jevaugn Jan 2015
This is how you pull back blue silk curtains. This is how you differentiate colors: cool to warm. Do make haste to cower from the rays of the sun; this is how you blind yourself. Twist until it refuses. This is how you close turquoise suede curtains. Tell your father he has bad taste. This is how you curse the Earth’s rotation. Tie the plaid curtains into a messy knot. Undo it. Here is how you undo it, but this is how it doesn’t work. Look for the bright side; it’s there behind the blinds. Now this is how the messy knot becomes a good knot. Do it. This is how you wish you didn’t do it, so here’s how the knot comes undone.

Take these, and make sure you write this down: Reverse the threshold and head north from the southeast slash west you were once heading. Take a left comma but remember to keep heading north at all times. Take a pause when lost for optimal clarity. This is how you look both ways. Clear your throat. Watch the lights. Remember this order:  ascending, crescendo, transverse, descending. Stitch a moment of breath. This is how you count steps. Stop. Maintain the pull of gravity and sway; only the dead is still. Scratch your chin and pull at your hair. Make sure it is done first; the end is worthless if you look as sane as when you started. Watch the lights. This is how you differentiate patterns; life resides within its movement. Green, green, red, green. Ascending, crescendo, transverse descending. This is how you take an educated guess. This is how you end up north from east instead of south, which is nowhere. Here is how you backtrack, but first pull up your socks and admire your mother’s good taste. If you go too far back, come here and ask for the restroom. Look into the dingy mirror, touch the cracked tiles, smell the toxic air, listen to the grunts of your fellow in the unhinged stall, and taste the brown water from the leaky faucet. Replenish your will within the blemished brevity of these actions; try again tomorrow. Never look at your watch.

Go back to your temporary room with the packed curtains you thought were opal bed sheets. Lie down on the used bed, but don’t dwell on the escapades next door. Dream. This is how you reach the land of the weak and this is how you ask for Estomac. Be polite. This is how you do acid: lie down and burn holes through flesh infested skies, rip through muscles and sever the tendons of the atmosphere. Come down. Get up. Crumble to your knees. Close your eyes. This is how you spill your guts. This is how you undo knots. This is how you walk away.
Based on Jamaica Kinkaid's Girl. Sorry for being absent so long, I promise to catch up on all your lovely poetry!
Jevaugn Jan 2015
One of the basic concepts of art
Is that within every creation lies
Fundamental shapes shepherd by an
Organic compiling of lights and darks  
Bending to formulate shadowed tales.  
Stories. Myths. Epics.
Triangles and circles rest undisturbed
Scattered rhythmically like smooth curves
Contouring to the whims of the dance...
Yet, when infusing detail into mapped
Shapes, the stories are no longer the same.
Haunted and forsaken.

But still, such a delicate face hearkens my
Pencil to life.
My fingers, to smudge these fine lines
Drawn into the organic creation that is you:  
A lovely imperfection.

However, I never seem to get this line correctly.
Despite my efforts.
Jevaugn Jan 2015
They say one cannot read in their dreams,
But I've done it.
Saw each word vivid as vivid as I know
Dreams to be livid and lucid armored
Inventions of deeper realities combating for
Essence in action. In motion. Awake. Again.
My eyes tumbling down like mounds of sand
When the wind blows searching for crevices to settle in
And marginalize and quantize the space between
Reason and faith.
Touch and sound.
But I dreamt words. Again.
Are they yours or mine?
It tasted of sorrow
-as do all words already do-
And each form of noted thought was clear, but faded
With each new word formed aloud by the voice
Suddenly questioning the vestiges of the unspoken hum...
But for the first time someone answered.

But who?
Was it I who read?
Was it I who questioned?
Was it I who wrote?
Was it I who answered?

Was it I?

Either way, it is still yet I who is
Bound to unknown tethers,  
Arrested to both spoken and unspoken words,  
Wasting away trying to remember  
The answer.  

Weary.
Insomnia has consistently gotten the better of me, but I finally had a dream last night during the hour of sleep I got.
Jevaugn Jan 2015
Sitting within sounds of the preacher preaching
And people seated just to hear the word of Jesus bleeding
Blends my concoction of thoughts into fumes
Of congregational broth
Inhale tears and thankful praises to the heavens
Uncontainable, yet liberation brief
"Page 90 of your hymnal please"
Be "Joyous and triumphant" in your seat

And one time she was the sea
And he was the sky
Flowing like holy water breathing in God's
Heavy slumber
Destruction is imminent my dear
Who bringth this down?!
"Not I!"  
So singth Judas to Jesus
To easeth wavering spirits
Jesus' wayfaring spirit searching
For the kiss of the Demon

-Muah-  

Earth shattering purse of the lips  
Alarming all these cardinals
Like we already needed a pope.
The creed, the creed, the creed,
Messiah on High, The Bread of Life,
"Stop it. Tell me where Jesus was in these streets."

And I saw and I lived, but I wasn't.

Never bore the political hues of these streets
Every corner stirring up a new beef on these streets
Everyday I had to walk through these streets
"Who you be? Who you be?"
Hands itching through their soul for the heat.
Another life in the grave.
Buried,  
Obsolete,  
For this dingy old hood
Night and day people slinging for the "cure"
"Get this money. Get this money. Man, I gotta get this money."
"Get the honeys. Get the honeys. Man, I gotta get the-" bleep
Lost my very first love to these streets.

Jump out the car,  
New resolve,  
Lost my cousin to these streets.

He died, seconds after taking the leap.  

So I believe, Jesus was in those streets
And told him as a changed man
To "Come and be with Me."

Forgiveness.
His very own "friends" killed him... a Judas kiss bestowed upon my dear cousin... We'll never know when our lives will slip from us, so we must always live as better versions of who we were.
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