Aj brri shiddat se toot k yad aya hae wo
chaha b to toot k tha main nay usay
wo pehli mulaqat..
mje acha lga tha wo
usko b shaed!
lgi achi thee main
wo b khamosh tha..
chup to main b thee..
uski ankhun nay kaha kch
suna main nay b tha buhat kch
suno!!
main tmen kch kahun!
mje tm say muhabbat hai
kash! mje tm mil he jao kbi
arzu to ye he hai abi
buhat khamosh muhabbat krti hn tmen
tm mere pas ajao na!
tm he say to kehna hae..
tm he say sb kehna hae
mje tm say muhabbat hae
sirf tm say muhabbat hae
aur yae b jan lo..
aur tm maan lo..
tm sirf..  mere **
Sirf mere **...

my friend al
calls me every night
midnight to be exact
with invites to the maryland club,
you know the one, near hudsons bay
where johnny walkers always playing that old drum?

come he says
& we can dance with martini & rossi
baila baila on table tops
while jose cuervo
plays his cuban guitar.

aye yae yae mami,
venga, venga!
come
let me show you the comforts
of southern hospitality

it will only cost you one silver dollar

i try to say no
absolutely not

cause the last time i danced with al
i found myself lying in the arms of ron bacardi
at the old kentuky tavern down by the green river
ooh, he was soo smooth talking
standing there dressed in his red label shoes
& when he told me i felt like black velvet,
handed me four roses
& tickled me with three feathers
i found myself with my
backside to the ground
& me looking up at nothin but skyy
& by the time i knew what was going on
we had done it 151 times
before jack daniels caught us
behind mr. boston's house
& when he swore
he’d tell my old grand dad
i was so scared,
i stole the white horse
that belonged to capitan morgan
just to get away.

lord knows to this day
if he knew
he’d slap me silly, take me to church
& swear the christian brothers
could save my soul.

no, i wanna say
absolutely not

but its too late

i’m already at the canadian club
where my soul is being ******
by the fat *******
filling my glass
with crushed grapes.

Balanced on the cusp of reason
Teetering in rationale,
Gyroscopic permutations
Take the leap or stay and snarl.

Reason fights with high confusion
Torn between the yae and nay,
Gyroscopic permutations
Pack the case and leave or stay.

Screaming taunts in ragged order
Torment in saliva mist,
Gyroscopic permutations
Cut the throat or slit the wrist.

Standing on the lonely cliff top
Way below the surging tide
Gyroscopic permutations
Take the leap or run and hide.

Balanced on the cusp of reason
Teetering on right or wrong,
Gyroscopic permutations
Join the dead or sing a song.

Walking up the baking highway
Soaking up the streaming sun
Gyroscopic permutations
Laugh or cry... today I won.*


Marshalg
Throwing the dice.
22 February 2013

© 2013 Marshal Gebbie

yae dil be-qrar hae
jeena dushwar hai
mjko us say pyar hae
uska intzar hae
rsta khardar hae
kya us k liye b!!
mere bin... jeena dushwar hae!
mera intzar hae!
us ko mj say pyar hae!
dil b be-qrar hae!
mjko to btlao na!
kya wahan b..
ye he soorat haal hae!!

Grip tightens.
Loss of appetite,
For food, for fun, for mischief
All but for self loathing.

Something so simple ,
Made so awkward.
More than just trivial,
All so hard.

I could be so happy,
Elated,
Infectious in fact.

Instead questioning so much
Too much
Appointment? Yae of Nae?
Arranged or by chance?

If chance does arrive....
Take it?
Or be it gone like the wind;
Never seen but felt by all.

I know it
It preoccupies both our minds
I know it
But self doubt is unrelenting
Questioning, always questioning
All too noticeable.
All too late.

I know.

Happiness...A state of mind
Placed opposite to sad,
Degrees of joy and sorrow
That are neither good nor bad.
Your barometric reader
Determined by the day,
The way you play our cards
Or the whim of yae or nay.
Whichever way the meter flows
There is one guarantee,
If you've lived life to it's fullest
Your dying day will set you free!
So fear not for the dark days
They will come and go like rain
Tomorrow's dawn brings sunshine
To evaporate the pain.

Luv to you Nat.
M.

Yae, she's difficult,
drags you by your feet, strangles you,
a light between the clouds wouldn't help,
down here in detritus, covered in kelp.

No name, no name can be spoken,
that would capture the terror, the pride and the error,
of a possession bursted, and also of a soft arrow miss'd.

Sweetling, she is difficult,
Charybdis is beyond hunger,
but better to be twisted, wet, and spun,
as long as she sinks your mind til it's hung.