ah crap... what a moral hangover...
the first one for a long while,
and i do mean it as: a moral hangover,
well... "moral"...
coming from a society of a "failed"
economic model... my my... look at China...
their communism has endured way
past the use-by-date in europe and elsewhere...
communism was experimented with
in Mongolia... that's what i read...
now i moved into the lands of
those that state cultural-marxism...
from what i heard, it's wasn't so bad
under the iron curtain...
people actually had lives,
my father played bridge and waterpolo,
and there actually was an olympic
spirit concerning sports...
more olympics than **** football
and darts... you know: diversity.
**** on me though... this hangover is
killing me...
it's rare, so i have to write about,
usually after i drink a bottle ov ***** i'm
sloth-smiling the next day,
spending about half an hour in bed
looking at it with closed eyes -
yes, the it is indefinite, i know don't:
world? either listening to a dying clock's tick-tock
or classical music on the radio...
i only get out from a lying position
into full momentum of the day when i hear
something inspirational...
i can't be bothered without a feeling
of being inspired... just how it works...
so today i received the gift of a hangover,
a moral one, perhaps because i feel
i'm been misunderstood...
used some "inappropriate" word
last time i took to the canvas, only yesterday.
lao che... yep, kept listening
to these songs about the warsaw uprising
in the year '44...
and how english can be sloppy when
further shortening itself from german,
say, ****- as a prefix, -stani as a suffix...
don't and do not...
well, another "offensive" word is also
four letters long...
pole... am i to be offended that there
isn't really a prefix and suffix dynamic
and that's it's really mono-syllable?
you get to say that word in one go,
not need to dissect it...
or should i move outside a national category
and into the realm of ethnicity,
mind you, that's slav(e)...
sounds better in my native tongue
juggle - słowianin...
and yes: słowo means: word.
(self-clarity moment, the narrator
becomes conscious and deviates into
the pronoun game saying:
hey! i think they're getting it!
the negated (dis-) ease is spreading!)
**** this hangover...
well... what can you do if not drink more?
as i am doing now...
but for the past 2 hours i was sitting from
6 pm in the garden, watching clouds
in the night... drinking 6 cups of tea
and smoking while working to
de-phlegm my throat...
and like some mud-monster piece of
it clear, spat into the bathroom basic
clinging to the ceramic, until
is drool-moved into the hole...
and i do know that my headache
originated in my neck, the back of it,
right side... *******!
then onto heidegger, apphorism 201...
man categorising himself as an animal...
well: man sometimes would make
sense if he was such a presence...
but that's the cure for a hangover,
fresh air, cigarettes, plenty of tea
with its antioxidants and clouds on
a night sky, and the best medicine
i've yet to find a competitor for:
patience, something
the time-space theory doesn't really
include, or thereby need;
the positive element in the retrograde
mode of determination (point 5
of aphorism 201) -
i know you won't (will not) buy the book,
it's being sold at 30 quid (originally $60)...
and it really was a mad investment,
but this book will last me for...
well... almost forever.
lucky me moving from the ashes of central
europe's communism into little *******
telling me what the left means...
no economic policy... nothing...
hollow ideals about taking drugs...
and that's not even working given
in england smoking marijuana is illegal...
these days i listen to reggae and get ******...
it actually makes more sense
than doing the cliche of smoking it
and listening to israel vibration
culture or bunny wailer -
what an *** i was when i first took to it
aged 21... started late, finished early...
i found that it absolutely emptied me of
the capacity to think...
years later i concocted the concept
against descartes' res cogitans...
i.e. res vanus -
i just thought my version to be of a higher
quality, there was no need to constantly
think, or make thinking man's prime essential...
i'd say man's prime essential can be
as needed as a knife... or a fork...
plus, res vanus (empty thing) leaves
you absorbed into admiring clouds at night,
so you essentially become at earnest about
this world as a sponge absorbing water...
fluidity...
pretty much what heidegger says:
you can't teach philosophy,
not unless you want your self to be intact,
it can't be taught, it can't be taught
and there's absolutely no reason why it
would only be reflected by long paragraphs
and aphorisms in the academic style...
but i dare say, a tipping for what's very
much a vanity "project"...
still... that ****** hangover,
and yesterday's, whatever it was that happened
when listening to lao che's album
powstanie warszawskie -
that medium of having a definite
background, and retaining your mother tongue...
and all these sensitivities of those who live
in england, but who apparently "shouldn't"...
yep, just like that chinese product imported...
a free movement of goods, countered
without a free movement of people...
to be honest, if the intended failure of
communism didn't happen,
i'd just like to ask my fellow "countrymen"
what good came from having a pole
as a pope, as if that wasn't the real reason
for the economic failure?
finally! we can kneel!
it's quiet nice, being adequately complicated
as a human being is, without
having to deal with the animal
constantly stressed by natural elements...
it's great.... i can complicate it
with things, primarily pertaining
to memory.
just enough ***** and today will turn into
a smooth petal of a tulip,
and i'll glide... like those floating nuns
in the film death becomes her.
