The name I made for myself.
It took me years of patience and effort, and I never spared a single moment for myself alone.
I had always relied on this goal of mine, a dream worth sacrificing myself for.
And then one day, it's all gone.
I'm forced away, hearts unsynced, and although it's also been a while, my heart remains shattered.
Because I realized that I'll have to go to sleep, and dream.
Being awake and dreaming at the same time is impossible, isn't it?
Because it had always been the name I once made for myself.
Actually, I was forced to move to a completely new area. It's been a month or so, but I am still adapting. I was forced away from all my relationships, and of course, it is not the same. They live much farther now, and there has never been a day where I haven't missed them.
My core memories, they were all left behind. I'm trying my best to adapt to this environment, but it just isn't for me. I'm not welcomed here. My adults, they have never supported the thought of balancing my personal/work+school life, so they only think I'm in my own space 24/7 and seperated from reality. I guess, that is 50% accurate of a thought compared to reality, but no matter how hard I try to relieve this perspective of theirs, I fail. So I gave up, and I followed my own path. I still am, but at the bottom of my heart, I'm always hoping they're watching over how hard I'm struggling, the tears I fight every night, the lock necklace that remains apart of my flesh.
I miss the name I once made for myself, because here, it wouldn't matter if I existed or not.
