Even though we are long past
The thought of you takes me back
Can I ever be as happy as I was with you

When I was with you my heart skipped a beat
Butterflies filled my tummy
My mind would race with thoughts

To be with you was all I wanted
Every second of everyday
To just lay in your arms, that was the place I wanted to stay

You're smile was the best part of my day
You're laugh was so amazing I couldn't help but laugh with you  
You're heart was soft and kind that I couldn't help but fall for you

When people talk about falling in love I didn't think it would hurt this bad
I didn't know that falling for you would make my heart break like this
I didn't realize how loving you could break every part of me

In the end I was left questioning myself
Am I loved?  
Am I to much to handle?
Am I enough to make you happy

I questioned the very essence of my being
Loving you turned into hating myself
Something that I will struggle to fix the rest of my life

You made me feel less then what I was
For that is now something that is stitched on my heart
I now have made it a mission to never feel like that again

Because of you I fear love
Because of you I run from commitment
Because of you I know what its like to feel true heart break

Will I ever be able to allow myself to love again
Will this scar on my heart ever heal
Or will I forever be afraid to love with all my heart like I loved you

How is it that I could feel both extremes with you
How could I feel what it was like to truly love someone and also feel complete heart break with them
How is it that you could be the very one to fill my heart and break it

Trust is so fragile so easily broken
Because of that I have not loved as deeply sense you
I have been to afraid to feel heart break

Trust is such a frail thing and because of you I find it hard to trust him
What if he is the one that's supposed to love me forever
What if I'm missing out on so much because of you

released from darkness into lite
shadows continue to travel my path
but never seems to last

it's life i guess?!
is this part of god eye opening plan for me but yet i wonder, yeah",
i often ponder what's in store for me years to come toward my future
maybe my life is predestine
i rack my thoughts strain my brain trying to maintain
and just understand as well plan for the unexspected
battle with faceless enemy that stands

see it's my plan to go in and come out alive
but that's just the bold courge of this solider that refuse to die although its to soon to tell things may turn into a rage of hell if my godly plan  re bells
it could only means ;we didn't plan to excel by executing the plan then expel which will only place us back in the belly of the whale and remain there until the next time opportunity prevails
ON
       THE
                BATTLE
                                 FIELD.......