"transfusions" poems - Hello Poetry

The reason there aren't so many vampyres around these days is they don't like TV hype and the intrusions of TV news crews. It transpires that vampyres prefer late hours and like low light levels because they're egregarious and don't like to be seen inebrious in the middle of their heinous, intravenous revels. Also, unfavorable reviews about transfusions and the confusion caused by AIDS, at this juncture, has definitely reduced the appeal of being seduced by some crazed and gurgling Transylvanian bloodsucker lusting to puncture the jugular, or any other available vein again, especially when you don't know if they've disinfected their fangs or only licked them after draining their last victim. After all, vampyres were brought up in castles when there weren't antiseptics for gargles and they haven't been taught prophylactic criteria against such apocalyptic viral bacteria. And if you've ever seen vampyres with condoms on their teeth, you'll know what I mean. It's a scream. Everyone finds them hilarious. It'd be easier to die laughing than to go down with anemia. Also, like everyone else, vampyres hate ridicule. No-one likes being seen as the fool. And the other reason vampyres are scarce now is that there are so many genuine muggers, hoods, crims, druggies, financial leeches, homicidal maniacs, psychopathic liars and genocidal tendencies to conjure up real fears out there, that there's not much room left for quaint old-fashioned vampyres, poor dears. But do you know something? Even though they were naughty, I miss their occasional **** I know it was gory, but those kisses, oh boy. We got into the femoral artery inside the thigh. It was ***** But when AIDs came along, that was it. Definitely bye-bye. Nobody wanted to die. These are the facts. So these vampyres were starving and they reverted to bats. Did a midnight flit, and that's the end of my story.

0

Oct 31, 2012

Oct 31, 2012 at 6:01 PM UTC

mike-t-minehan

Goodbye to Vampyres

The reason there aren't so many vampyres around these days is they don't like TV hype and the intrusions of TV news crews. It transpires that vampyres prefer late hours and like low light levels because they're egregarious and don't like to be seen inebrious in the middle of their heinous, intravenous revels. Also, unfavorable reviews about transfusions and the confusion caused by AIDS, at this juncture, has definitely reduced the appeal of being seduced by some crazed and gurgling Transylvanian bloodsucker lusting to puncture the jugular, or any other available vein again, especially when you don't know if they've disinfected their fangs or only licked them after draining their last victim. After all, vampyres were brought up in castles when there weren't antiseptics for gargles and they haven't been taught prophylactic criteria against such apocalyptic viral bacteria. And if you've ever seen vampyres with condoms on their teeth, you'll know what I mean. It's a scream. Everyone finds them hilarious. It'd be easier to die laughing than to go down with anemia. Also, like everyone else, vampyres hate ridicule. No-one likes being seen as the fool. And the other reason vampyres are scarce now is that there are so many genuine muggers, hoods, crims, druggies, financial leeches, homicidal maniacs, psychopathic liars and genocidal tendencies to conjure up real fears out there, that there's not much room left for quaint old-fashioned vampyres, poor dears. But do you know something? Even though they were naughty, I miss their occasional **** I know it was gory, but those kisses, oh boy. We got into the femoral artery inside the thigh. It was ***** But when AIDs came along, that was it. Definitely bye-bye. Nobody wanted to die. These are the facts. So these vampyres were starving and they reverted to bats. Did a midnight flit, and that's the end of my story.