I lay clutching a pillow wishing it were your chest.
I puff my cigarette pretending it is my last.
Drifting from reality into my dreams, the first thing I see is you.
It scares me so much that I wake up out of breath.
Maybe if things had turned out differently,
I wouldn't have woken up to a broken arm & a sore chest
or a hole in my bed sheet from a cigarette I swore would be my last.
Apr 30, 2014
Apr 30, 2014 at 9:31 PM UTC
I drank until you weren't real.
Until I couldn't feel
anymore.
I drank until I only saw faces.
Until there were no traces
of yours.
I drank until I couldn't think.
Until all I wanted was another drink
and not your mouth on mine.
I drank until the world went black.
Until I lost track
of what I really wanted which was
you.
Feb 21, 2014
Feb 21, 2014 at 9:45 PM UTC
There are things growing inside me that I cannot explain..
Like flowers they bloom through my sockets
With little, bright petals that face the sun
They stem themselves in between my arteries and veins, leaving no space for darkness or negativity
Their vines wrap around my brain, squeezing so gently as to only press inadequate thoughts out
I am grateful for these things that have grown
inside me...
Which now show themselves on my outside too
Feb 19, 2014
Feb 19, 2014 at 12:02 AM UTC
We're speaking in bodies now
Our hearts beating at a faster pace
Your fingertips express your lust
& my lips part to say your name
Your love bites leave me breathless
& I forget we're practically strangers
Oh boy, we have no shame
Feb 17, 2014
Feb 17, 2014 at 12:18 AM UTC
I miss the feeling of your eyes on my back.
The way they burned through my skin
& how we looked at each other without actually locking eyes.
& when we did lock eyes everything seemed to stop
There was a satisfaction in your stare
I wanted you to look at me forever
But things have changed
& now your eyes burn through me for only a moment
& when our eyes lock nothing stops
I miss the feeling of your eyes on my back.
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 7:28 PM UTC
I still have your scent in my nose
I've been searching the world to find it,
in hopes of finding you.
Nothing quite matches up
and it leaves me wondering..
If I even have the right smell
maybe I'm looking for something that's
impossible to find.
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 2:58 PM UTC
Why are all my flowers dead?
I gave them water to help them live
I hooked them up to IV bags
& performed blood transfusions
with my own liquids
Its as if they were in a head on collision,
in a 12 car pile up on a highway in August.
As if they laid upon the asphalt in the sun,
withering to the bone, they pass.
Why are all my flowers dead?
Feb 16, 2014
Feb 16, 2014 at 2:44 PM UTC
Billions of stars in the sky
& yet im still focused on the ones in your eyes
Gleaming so bright like the constellations
on a good night
The depth of which you see things is hard to find;
It makes me wonder about the galaxy which inhabits your mind
Am I even a tiny star in that grouping of light?
Or do I amount to nothing, is the picture of me as dark as night?
I wonder these things before I fall asleep
I think of your starry eyes & I let myself dream.
Feb 15, 2014
Feb 15, 2014 at 9:49 PM UTC
Tonight I am at a loss
A loss of
Words, thoughts, myself
Another small piece of me gone
Locked away somewhere
Waiting to be rediscovered
Numbness comes next
Filling me to the brim
Making me lost
In limbo, surrounded by emptiness
I feel nothing.
Feb 15, 2014
Feb 15, 2014 at 12:11 PM UTC
He smelled like smoke & a sleepless night
I hugged his back, asked if he was alright
He said he felt like ****
& took one more hit
From that cigarette of his.
I grabbed a smoke & sat to his left
His eyes weren't bright but still they were deft
He looked up at the sky
I saw his thoughts fly
I'd never seen him feel so blue
He said he missed home & this girl he once knew
I felt like crying, he felt that too
I sat there smoking, not knowing what to do
I began making sense of the truth
He held me close
but I could see
there was nothing left of "you & me"
He was in love with her & I with him
I felt my heart go completely dim
I went back inside
Hoped to die
& never woke up to see those brown eyes
I'd drifted in sleep
Counted too many sheep
Simply because there was no more "you & me"
Feb 13, 2014
Feb 13, 2014 at 10:07 PM UTC