As I sit awake all night
I contemplate life
With the blunt like I light
And the knife that I slice
I'm to much of a man to cry about my struggle
But the weight on my shoulders is making my knees start to buckle
Crumble into rubble
Side effect of the perks that I smoke
Is that now in this depression the knife is pressed to my throat
And the gun that I toat
In now pressed to my temple
Is the pain that I'm feeling physical or mental  
Struggling teenager with no guidance or a prayer
Has had his ****** up life consumed by despair
And sain thoughts in this boy are extremely rare
And now the devilish thoughts come back, and I'm scared
I'm a young adult now
Still stuck in this state
The weight in my shoulders will surly make my back break
After all my life has been mistake after mistake
And now I'm thinking if my own life, I should take
People close to me forget how my life has been
Not easy to forget, not easy for forgive
I'm a human sin
And I have been since a fetus
And this mental emotional disorder, how can I beat this  
I'm a demon
And a murderer
A **** up
A slanderer
A reject
I'm still smoking on the blunt that has been killing me since twelve
I'm in hell