I looked down at him
his eyes as wide as porcelain plates
being set on the mahogany dinner table.
They are filled with
Awe
         Amazement
                              Longing
and a slight touch of bewilderment
as he tries to  
                      Grasp
What his eyes can see but his mind can hardly cope.

I remember being his age
Young
          Fragile
                      Innocent
Seeing­ what he now was seeing.
Standing on the very same spot for what felt like an
                                                                ­                           Eternity
But it was a moment in time so small
that I’ve never grudged to think about it.
For at that moment everything around me disappeared.
All I could see was what was in front of me
Endless
              Breathtaking
                           ­         Beautiful
It was in that tiny moment of time
That I made the biggest decision of my life.
Unaware of where it would lead me.

That it would lead me
                                       Here.
Looking down and seeing his golden hair.
Gently his curls are dancing with the wind.
Unlike the dance I had to
Choreograph
                       Perform
                                      Endure
Against an entire storm
An unexpected hurricane
that lasted much longer than a tiny moment in time.
A storm which had me
                                         Fearing
that I would never see his curls again.

It was on the third day of riding that storm
that I decided.
If I live then I shall
Embrace
               Nourish
                               Love
I shall drop the anchor and take off my cap
Unburden my shoulders of the cape I wear
Leave my men and venture once more back onto
                                                            ­                          Land
For six tormenting days of agony
I went head to head in battle
With my most powerful enemy yet
The swings of his mighty trident against my steel shield
Never knowing where the next blow would come
Below
           Behind
                        Above
For six days I didn’t close my eyes once
Afraid that if I would blink
They would never open again.
I would never get to see his curls,
dimpled smile, blue eyes,
hear his laughter, feel his hands in mine.
Hear his sweet voice call out
                                                   “Mom..”

I stand here now with my son.
On the exact place my father stood with me
A long long time ago when I made the decision.
To follow my father's footsteps.
Oh how I wish my son doesn’t follow mine
but I can see the look in his blue eyes
It is the same look I had.
Something about it is screaming out to
Explore
             Adventure
                                 Seek
The great unknown that lies before us.
It’s deep blue intensity staring
like a jaguar waiting to pounce.
I wish my son doesn’t fall for it’s
                                                          Te­mptations
doesn’t jump in arms wide
greeting an old friend.

For this friend has a dark side that yearns to consume
everything that you are.
It will chew on you for years and years
At the end it will either
Spit you out        --     Or Swallow you.

Here I stand having been spit out
looking back at my past
and looking at his future
Knowing there is nothing I can do
For I will always hate it...
And I will always love it...
                                ...The Ocean
        

Håkan Daniel Theba