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Toro Mar 2013
the clock changes to 6, the sun begins to rise,
you lay awake, thoughts brewing, red eyes.
disappointment and sadness fill the growing void,
as everything you once held dear is destroyed.
love, life, family, friends all disappear into the abyss,
only memories, standing alone, left to reminisce.
a time that once was great, that never needed change,
your heart heavy, a thought you deem strange.
love never had a part, not a moment that made you believe,
because everyone in your life decided to leave.
never again you said, not again, so it won't hurt,
holding a barrier using all the power you could exert.
nothing ever lasts, nothing ever works out,
the void you feel fills with sorrow and doubt.
succuming to the darkness, leaving nothing left,
as every part of your life becomes bereft.
the sun may be rising but the day seems as dark as night,
for the shadows will keep pulling you away from the light...
To assimilate

your way of

thinking, I'd

have to not

love myself.

To be what

you say,

I am not

I will not

be what I

can not be

a liar...

like you.

Straight

and

narrow minded

like you.

I am me

A lover of women

A lover of men

the *** in your closet.

A woman in love

with being in love.

A defender

of the unforgiven,

the denied, and ashamed.

I will not go

not go gently

I will make

a presence

My voice will

shake mountains

my will unyielding.

I am not

what you say.

I am love

I have love

will share, receive

and give love.

I am not

will never

be what you

depict me to be.

insecure

I am not

A liar

I am not

Ugly

I am not

A threat

**** right

Strength

and

Beauty

Passion only succuming

between my lover's thighs

and my thirst

quenched by lover's lip's.

I am a woman

who loves her enemies

always reminding me

of what I will

not allow

myself to be...

a person projecting their

feelings onto other's

I am not-

like you.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2017
consciousness sounds so much better in other languages... e.g. świadomość - which literally translates back into english as: awareness... or a step futher: an awareness... which does away from the concept of ego, given the existence of the opposite / direct article, invoking a god, or a collective, i.e. the awareness.

tree / man  looking at a tree
i'm an object
         looking at an
                                       object -
   my attetion though?
i'm a subjecting
      a tree to be
a subject
             rather than an object...
   the tree?
    its subject is photosynthesis,
on an unconscious levelling
to my own, sure,
     photosynthesis
  is the tree's objective...
    but the poly-intrinsic-dependency
any parasite will tell you,
    i need to scoff off this organism
to serve an existential purpose
of existence per se...

only in english, has the post-scriptum of
**** sapiens has been found:
the divided man, the **** schizoi...
sheerly through the laziness of
not establishing a bilingualism psyche:

the concept of an english gentleman ought
to understand,
    given that nietzsche stated that
a "polite" society disavows the practice
of dialectics...
    surely then a polite society can't be
mono-lingual...
            for multi-culturalism to "actually"
exist, you require the basic foundation
of bilingualism...
     rather than concerns for the genitals
in the argument of bi-sexuality...
if your idea of god is in your underwear,
then clearly he won't exist,
    besides oral ***,
               a Y in the tongue?
                                 a tongue as a Y?
the same reason bonsai tigers (cats)
have lizard eyes, and actual tigers have
humanoid  pupils, never the shrinked
slits...
        
            
tina "*******" tuner!* though...            
what's love got to do, got to do with it...
               got to do with it...
                          who needs a heart
when a heart can be broken...

   never abiding or succuming to the "logic"
of arithmetic, a necessity of the counting
method, well, given the calculator,
      
    me? just watching sparrow...
thinking about the size of their eggs,
   of all and every bird: lizards with wings...
jerky...
     twitchy even...
               rather than sullen crows walking
with the sort of labour effect of a carpenter...
  the sparrows? winged kangaroos...
  just hopping...
         and itchy upper-spines
  akin to the almost detachable heads
of insects... ******* a.d.h.d. in the making...
   it's raining and i'm wearing sunglasses
saying outloud: **** me! it's sunny!

— The End —