this says body,
and I'm thinking I can't think

there's worlds to put here
but confusions overcome me.

Why? or Where? How Will I ever?
What?
I want to but can't.
Nothing comes out how I want to.
It is hard. For me.
I'm so shy
Not playing

scared of people
the "what people?"

I'm embarrassed
why
what's there to scare me?

prizes aren't for me.

Is that how i see things?
no attention is necessary!

I just want to live
or get things out
I'd really like to write.
I'm good at this. I've tried..
along time ago...I've tried.
There were points of happiness
of completeness
of solidness
of structuredness
of being free
of being spirited
for having something to say and saying it
in ways that made sense

to myself

or to someone who could understand it
one day.

that was a dream
a hopeful dream maybe
or maybe not even a dream
just a kidding thought

but it would be okay to
hear someone notice
and think aloud
but to leave me untouched
and unbroken
and unbruised
and untainted
and UN-humiliated
and not judging

Just let me say what i need to say
and let me pass by.

and if you want to, smile at me.
I'm cool with that.

I was small but little when the dream
came to me,when the earth spoke to me
when I spoke to myself,
when I took control or had control
even slightly.
when i learned to love....everything...
for who I was and what I was
and Where I was....
and to recite and to wonder.......
But it all goes away.
and in a blink of an eye,
I don't know how.
I ever thought I land up so far away from myself
It's interesting.
But maybe this is a step in the right direction.

No-Thingness

Everything devolves into structuredness because all things revert to singularity. To one entitity. It reverts to a single point of energy charged with infinite potential and pure conciousness.
An All-being dissolved of any structure and definition giving meaning to the No-Thingness inherent in the fabric of all existence.
We are omniscience expressed through a fragmented incomplete experience. More expressed through lesser, yet without this,
potential wouldn't come into fruition. Understanding comes with defining structures painted on the empty canvas of awareness. When we cease to paint, the color of awareness transforms emptiness into spaciousness. That's why through silence we can experience contentment in being. The practice is awareness without understanding.To understand that we are awareness without practice. Effortless. Duality is our illusion, our bounderies are imaginary. We only perceive the paradoxical expression of reality.
Like the notion of distance in the definition of interconnectivity.
Wholeness is incomprehensible presence.
It is the rigidity of our awareness that prevents us from flowing into it. Take water poured into existence, yet it takes the shape of an imaginary bowl. Held together by the tension of it's own convictions. It firmly believes in it's seperation and individuality.
Convinced of it's own shape, it does so against ironically impossible odds. It forgot it's place within No-Thingness yet that does not mean it's seperation. It merely means it does not recognize itself as the wholeness it perceives.